Ukulutha ngokweqile noma ukulutha

Ukulutha ngokweqile, noma ukubheja ngokweqile, kuyindlela yokuziphatha ngokocansi okuqaphile okusetshenziselwa ukuzithokozisa nokunethezeka kwengqondo.


Izimpawu zomuthi wokulutha

Ngokuxhomeka kocansi, njengombuso, lezi zibonakaliso ezilandelayo ziyizici. Lokhu ukungakwazi ukulawula izifiso zobulili. Lokhu kungukuziphatha komuntu okuholela emiphumeleni eyingozi, kepha umuntu othembela kuye njalo uyalahla lokhu. Ngokuxhomeka kocansi kumuntu, imvamisa yezifiso zobulili zanda ezikhathini zanamuhla. Kwezinye izigaba zokuphila, umuntu othembekile uba ngumane ongenakugwenywa. Ngokuzilahla ngokocansi isikhathi eside, izimpawu zokuthi ukuhoxiswa nazo kungenzeka.

Kodwa-ke, kufanele kuqaphele ukuthi uhlobo lokuziphatha ngokocansi luxhomeke kuphela uma kunezici zokubamba iqhaza, ukuhleleka kokusebenza, kanye nokungazi kahle imiphumela engenzeka.

Ukulutha kocansi kwamadoda nabesifazane

Abantu abahlukunyezwa ngokocansi bathola izinto ezifanayo kusukela oxhumana nabo ocansini njengezidakamizwa zezidakamizwa - imizwa emihle kunazo zonke ngomlutha. Imizwa enjalo ikhulula ukudabuka kwabo, ukwesaba, ukukhathazeka nokufutheka, futhi kubhekwe njengendlela yokubalekela empilweni yansuku zonke. Kodwa-ke, isidingo samanje sokubalekela empeleni sibe namandla kakhulu kangangokuthi izilonda azikho neze ezikwazi ukumelana nazo. Futhi ngezikhathi ezithile laba bantu bayaqaphela ukuxhomeka kwabo futhi bazame ukukuqeda, kodwa abakwazi ukukwenza ngokwabo.

Iningi labantu abanomlutha ngokobulili bangamadoda. Unomlutha wobulili ngesidingo esingavamile kakhulu oxhumana nabo ocansi. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi umlutha wezocansi ushintsho uya ezinhlobonhlobo ezingavamile zobulili, futhi ungaphula ngisho nokuvikeleka kokuziphatha nokuziphatha kwabanye abantu. Isibonelo, kuholela ekwenzeni izidakamizwa, ubudlova, ukushaya indlwabu, njll.

Kwabesifazane, noma kunjalo, ukuxhaswa ngokocansi ezimweni eziningi kuboniswa ngokocansi okungahleliwe noma ngokocansi nabantu abangabazi. Baya ebuhlotsheni obuhle ukuze bakhulise ukuzethemba kwabo, kanye nokufeza ukuzwakalisa okwesikhashana. Laba besifazane badinga nje ukuwina futhi balalele la madoda, nakuba empeleni bafihla ngaphansi kwesifiso sabo sobulili ukuze baqonde ukungabi nalutho kwabo. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngokungena kwezocansi ezilandelayo, abesifazane abazimele ngokuzibandakanya ngokobulili bayazibamba futhi bafinyelele isikhathi esincane besindiswa nosizi, ngoba ezimweni eziningi bahlala benqatshelwe ukukhulumisana nokuzwelana. Iba uhlobo lombuthano ononya. Laba besifazane bafuna ukusondelana ngokomoya, kodwa abazi ukuthi bangayithola kanjani. Ngenxa yalokho, ngishintsha ukungabi nalutho okungokomoya ngomuzwa wamandla, ukujabula ngokuphumelela kocansi.

Izinkolelo ezivame kakhulu, namadoda ahlukumezekile, abesilisa ocansini ekuqinisekisweni kokungabonakali kwabo nokungabi nalutho. Amanye amadoda angacabangi ukuthi ucansi isidingo sabo esibaluleke kunazo zonke empilweni, empeleni ukulinganisa ubulili nothando. Ngokuvamile, izidakamizwa zesilisa zihambisana nenkolelo enjalo yokuthi akekho ozothanda futhi anelise izidingo ngaphandle kokushayela ucansi. Futhi yilokho kanye izinkolelo eziholela eziphethweni eziyiphutha: "Ngiyakuthandwa uma nje bengikhangwa ngokocansi kimi."

Izinkolelo ezifanayo phakathi kwabesifazane nazo. Inkolelo evame kakhulu yiqiniso lokuthi ubuthakathaka nokungabi namandla. Futhi nokuqiniseka okuphikisanayo ngokungahambisani komuntu wesifazane ukugcina umuntu eceleni kwakhe, obangelwa yedwa, ubeka phansi isitatimende: "Angiyikushiywa uma ngifunda ukudukisa." Ngezinye izikhathi, ngokulandela imfundo noma izinkolo ezingokwenkolo, lo wesifazane uyaqiniseka ukuthi umzimba wakhe uyanyanyisa futhi unonya. Lezi zinkolelo ezingenakuqonda ziholela ekwakheni ukuziphatha kobulili kwabantu abancike ekutheni.

Isisekelo sokuxhomeka kocansi ekuqondeni kwengqondo kwengqondo kuyinkathazo. Ngokuvamile, ukukhathazeka okunjalo kuqala ukuthatha isakhiwo socansi ngobuntu bomuntu: isibonelo, izidingo zobulili zomzwelo wokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, ukunqoba isimo sokufutheka, kanye nokucindezeleka noma i-anhedonia (ukucasuka nokucasula).

I-syndrome yokulutha inezinhlamvu ezingenakunqotshwa, ngoba ukukhathazeka nokwesaba kwehla nalo. Ngakho-ke, omunye wemisebenzi esemqoka yodokotela-isazi sezokwelapha onomuntu othembekile ngokobulili kuwumsebenzi wokumfundisa ukulawula izinkolelo zakhe ezingalungile, okwenza kube nenjabulo enkulu yokukhathazeka, futhi kusebenze ngokunyuka kokukhathazeka kancane kancane ngosizo lwamandla omzimba wangaphakathi. Njengomthetho, ukuxoshwa ekuvakashelweni kwesazi kuvumelana, kodwa umsebenzi we-psychotherapeutic ohlala isikhathi eside usiza kakhulu ukunciphisa isimo esilinganiselwe sokuthembela. Umuntu othembekile kufanele, okokuqala, afunde ukuxhumana nabantu, ngoba ikhono lokuxhumana lisiza ngempela ukuqeda isizungu, ukudala, nokuphumelela, ubuhlobo obusha noma ukubuyisela omdala.

Abantu abaningi, ababhekene nokulutha, bazame "ukuxazulula" ukuxabana ngamandla. Futhi ezimweni zokugcina, isenzo, njengomthetho, silingana nokuphikisana, futhi yonke imizamo ivele ihlale ingenalutho. Ukweluleka ngokwengcweti, kanye nokusiza kwengqondo ukuxazulula izinkinga ezinjalo kuzobe sekudingekile. Uma unquma ukushintsha impilo yakho futhi uzisize ngokwakho, lokhu kuyinyathelo elikhulu endleleni yokwenza ngcono.