Kodwa indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane emshadweni womshado, akasiniki, ngakho-ke masizame ukuziqonda thina.
Siyavumelana ngaso leso sikhathi ukuthi sizocubungula izimo zokuvumelana kuphela emibhangqwaneni lapho bobabili abalingani bezwa uthando phakathi komunye nomunye.
Ukushada nokushada njalo akulula, kokubili umkhwenyana nomakoti, ngisho noma kukhona uthando nokuthembela okuphelele phakathi kwabashade. Ukuphila, umsebenzi, isikhathi, konke kuhlolisisa njalo amandla. Kodwa nokho sonke siyazi ukuthi kunezibhangqwana eziye zahlala ngokuthula nokuthula phakathi kweminyaka eminingi yokuphila komshado.
Futhi ezimweni eziningi, isisekelo salezi zinsuku zomshado (ngaphandle kokuthanda inkambo) ukuhloniphana komunye njengomuntu. Futhi lokhu akufanele kuxhomeke esimweni sezenhlalakahle, isimo sezimali nezinye izimfanelo. Indoda i-academician kufanele ihloniphe umkakhe umama wendlu, futhi umfazi wesifazane webhizinisi kufanele ahloniphe umyeni wakhe, injini elula. Kuphela kulokhu kungavumelana phakathi kwabashade.
Esinye isici esibalulekile sokuvumelana yizici zokuxhumana, futhi amaphuzu lapho izintshisekelo zalabo abashadile zihamba khona. Qaphela ukuthi lawo maphuzu lapho izithakazelo ezihlukana khona akufanele kube yitshe legumbi; Izintshisekelo ezihlukile zabashadile kufanele zingabangeli ukuphikisana okuqinile komunye nomunye. Izithakazelo ezivamile njengoba kuqondakalayo zikhonza ukuletha umbhangqwana (isithando nobulili kulokhu akuhambisani, njengoba bobabili bebuthela isikhathi esifushane), kodwa okuhlukahlukene okuyokwenza abantu babe nethuba lokwenza okuthile ngokwabo, ngaphandle komlingani. Ngoba ngisho nabantu abasondelene nabo ngezinye izikhathi bakhathele. Futhi, hhayi indima ebalulekile, ezimweni zokuvumelanisa ubuhlobo obude yikhono lokuthethelela.
Phela, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu bayini, ngaphezu kweminyaka eminingi yobudlelwane bomshado ngokuqinisekile ngeke baqoqe izikhalazo ezincane. Kulula kakhulu ukungaqapheli ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bomshado, kodwa okungabulala noma yikuphi ukuzwa nokuvumelana ngemva kweminyaka eminingi. Futhi okubaluleke nakakhulu ukuthethelelwa kokungaphumeleli okuncane komunye nomunye. Isibonelo, umyeni uyazikhohlwa ukuvala umuthi wezinyosi, futhi umfazi uthanda ukubuka lezo zinchungechunge umyeni wakhe azithandi.
Ngaphezu kwakho konke okungenhla, ungangezela ukuthi kunokuvumelana phakathi kobudlelwane bomshado imibono efanayo emaceleni empilo yokushada ayadingeka.
Kulezi zinto ezifana nezingane kanye nomndeni (isifiso sokuba nazo, bangaki abazoba nazo, ukuphila nabazali babo.), Umsebenzi nomsebenzi (kungakhathaliseki ukuthi owesifazane kufanele asebenze, yini ebaluleke kakhulu ezinganeni noma emsebenzini, njll), ekhaya nakwezimali usakaza imali emndenini, okufanele apheke, njll). Kuzo zonke lezi zinsuku abashadile kufanele babe nemibono efanayo, ngaphandle kwalokho ngeke kube khona ukukhuluma nganoma yikuphi ukuvumelana.
Konke okushiwo lapha kuphakamisa ukuthi isimo esiyinhloko sokuvumelanisa ubudlelwane bomshado kungumsebenzi omkhulu wokugcina izilinganiso zokuthula komndeni zilinganiselwe. Uma bobabili abashadile beqaphela lokhu futhi balwela ukugcina lokhu kubhaliswa, lo mshado ungaba omunye walabo abajabulayo lapho abashadile behlala khona ngokuvumelana iminyaka eminingi. Njengomthetho, iningi labantu liphupha ngobuhlobo obunjalo.
Lapha, mhlawumbe, izimo eziyisisekelo zokuvumelana, kodwa ngifuna ukungeza okuningi. Kodwa nokho, akusikho indawo ukukhumbuza isimo esiyinhloko nesibaluleke kunazo zonke zokuvumelana phakathi kobudlelwane bomshado, lokhu kuyithando ngempela. Njengoba bethi, ngaphandle kwayo noma kuphi. Futhi zonke ezinye izimo zisebenza kuphela lapho kukhona khona uthando phakathi kwabashade.