- Ukuvuselelwa ngokobulili. Abantu abasafuni ukushada ukuze balale ngokomthetho.
- Emancipation. Abaqaphi bokulingana kwezesilisa bahlasela umshado wendabuko, bebeka icala ngenxa yokuziphatha okungcwelisayo kanye nesimo sokuthobisa ngokuzithandela somfazi okuphoqelekile ukuba abe nomyeni wakhe.
- Izizathu zezomnotho. Basebenzisa ithonya labo ebuhlotsheni babantu ngaphambili, banamhlanje. Abantu abakasheshi ukungena emshadweni osemthethweni ngenxa yesifo sokuphila - ukungabi namakhaya, imali engenayo. Ngenxa yalokho, inani lezinyunyana zomphakathi likhula njengendlela encane enesibopho sokubambisana.
Okuningi
Abantu bakhetha ukuhlala emshadweni womphakathi, ngoba:
- bafuna ukuhlala ndawonye futhi bathandane, bengacabangi ukuthi lobu buhlobo buzohlala isikhathi eside kangakanani.
- bafuna ukuqonda ngokufanele ukudala umndeni: zama okokuqala ukuhlala ndawonye futhi uqonde ukuthi kufanelekile yini, futhi uma kwenzeka, bese usuvele usayine.
- Umshado womphakathi awukhululekile ekuhlaleni kwezenhlalakahle zezikhathi zokwakhiwa kwendlu, abashade nabo ngokwabo badala ubuhlobo obukhululekile kubo.
- emshadweni womphakathi, ngamunye wabahlanganyeli uzizwa engumuntu okhululekile, hhayi impahla yomunye oshade naye.
- kholelwa ukuthi ngokubonakala kwesitembu epasipoti, uthando lomshado nobulili buyashiya ubuhlobo.
- bafuna ukugwema i-officialdom, kanye nezinqubo zomthetho zesehlukaniso.
- bayesaba amaphutha ekukhetheni umlingani futhi ngeke baphakamise ilungiselelo elijabulisayo kakhulu lempilo yabo siqu, bezishiya ngokwabo inkululeko yokuthola inkululeko.
Abantu abaningi abamukeli leli fomu lobuhlobo, ngoba:
- lapho izingane zizalwa, izinkinga zingase ziphakame: oyedwa kuzodingeka athathe ingane yakhe.
- inkululeko yokudlwengula ngokweqile iyingozi kanti ngokuqinisekile ngeke iholele ekuziphatheni okubi ngokweqile.
- uma "baphathana" ngobuhlobo bomphakathi, bese kuthi emva kokumiswa kwabo umshado uzokwehlukana, awukwazi ukulwa nokuphambene.
- emshadweni onjalo kunomzwelo wokungcupheni kwengqondo, ukwehluleka kwesimo, kanye nezinkomba zohlobo "uma engenzi kimi isipho, kusho, angifanelekile"
- Ukwesatshiswa kwembono yomphakathi, ubandlululo.
- lolu hlobo lobuhlobo alukhuthazi njalo ukukhula komsebenzi.
- "isehlukaniso" bazohlala bengenalo ingxenye esemthethweni yomhlaba ohlanganisiwe.
- Ngokuvamile umqambi wobudlelwane obunjalo uyindoda, futhi owesifazane ulalela ngokungafuni futhi lokhu kuyamkhathaza kakhulu.
- abesifazane abaningi bafuna ukufaka izimpilo zabo izikhathi ezimnandi kakhulu: imoto yomshado, ingubo emhlophe eneveli ...
Ngomqondo wokuthi "umshado womphakathi", izinhlobonhlobo ezihlukahlukene kakhulu zokuhlala ngokuhlanganyela kwamadoda nabesifazane zihlala ndawonye. Kukhona into eyodwa kuphela ebabumbene: ukungabikho kokubhaliswa ngokomthetho.
- Umshado ngothando. Cishe kufana nomshado osemthethweni: indoda nowesifazane bazibiza ngokuthi indoda nomkayo futhi bahlala othandweni nokuvumelana, bangase babe nezingane, kodwa ubudlelwane ngesizathu esithile abukwenzi.
- Vula umshado. Kulo, yilowo nalowo oshade naye ulahlekelwa yimali yakhe, unelungelo lokuqala abathandi (ngaphandle kwalokho, ukuhluka okunjalo kutholakala emindenini yendabuko).
- Umshado wokulingwa. Leli fomu labantu abangenalwazi nabangaphumelela ngokwezezimali, okungukuthi, kubantu abasha abanesifiso sokuba nobulili obuvamile kanye nesifiso sokuthola ithuba lokuhlala ndawonye ukuze kudalwe imindeni yangempela.
- Umshado wesikhashana. ENtshonalanga, lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi "ukuba nesoka." Ubuhlobo obunjalo abukwenzelisi lutho olukhethekile, kuyindlela yokuhlela okwesikhashana impilo yomuntu siqu - ngesikhathi sokufunda, ukuhamba kwebhizinisi.
- Umshado wezomnotho. Leli hlelo lisetshenziswe ngabantu abavele bashisa ekuhlukaneni kwempahla ngesikhathi sesahlukaniso futhi manje abafuni ukubhalisa ubuhlobo, besaba "ukuthola imali."
Ukuphumelela komshado womphakathi kuxhomeke kunjani uhlobo lobuhlobo obukhona phakathi kwabantu nokuthi kungani bengabhalisi inyunyana yabo. Uma babe nobuhlobo obufudumele nokwethembela futhi banquma ukuhlala emshadweni womphakathi ndawonye, kungani kungenjalo? Emndenini onjalo, ozakwethu baqonda ukuthi injabulo yabo ayixhomeki esitembu esithile. Futhi uma inyunyana imisa ukuhlolwa kwesikhathi, ngokushesha noma kamuva (ngokuvamile lapho kuzalwa ingane) umshado ubhalisiwe.
Ukwenza ubuhlobo noma cha kungukuthi ibhizinisi lakho. Uma isimo somfazi womuntu sihambisana nawe futhi ujabule emshadweni, khona-ke imibono yabanye abantu abacabanga ukuthi akulungile ukuhlala kanje, akufanele nje ukhathazeke. Uma ukungabikho kwesitembu epasipoti yakho kukukhathaza, khona-ke zama kuqala ukuqonda isizathu salokhu. Unomuzwa wokuthi awunkosikazi wangempela, kodwa umlingani ongenawo ama-disfranchised, ufuna ukuba nomntwana, kodwa wesaba ukuthi lokhu kuzoqeda ubuhlobo bakho futhi uzoba umama ongashadile? Bese uzama ukushintsha isimo: xoxa ngakho konke lokhu nomyeni wakho, uzama ukuba nomngqangi ngangokunokwenzeka futhi ungamcindezeli (khumbula: amadoda afune ukugijima ngaphansi komqhele). Uma ukhathalela izitatimende zezihlobo nabangane, bese ushintsha isimo sakho sengqondo: yeka ukucabanga ukuthi isitifiketi somshado sizoqinisekisa ukuthula nenjabulo yakho - akunjalo.
Umbuzo wabafazi: ukushintshaniswa kweziphakamiso.
Bambalwa abesifazane abazovela nomqondo wokwenza umuntu. Futhi akakwazi ukuthatha lokhu ngokuvamile. Isimiso se "isinyathelo sokuqala" sisengcono ukugcina. Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuhlala ndawonye (ngisho nomshado womphakathi), kungcono ukulinda ukunikezwa kwesandla kumuntu. Okufanelekile, indoda kufanele inikeze owesifazane ukuba amshade naye, futhi, lapho ebonise ukuhlakanipha, anganikeza ukuqala ukuzama ukuhlala ndawonye. Uma umuntu ethi akahlose ukushada nawe, kodwa uzohlela ukuhlala nawe okwesikhashana, cabanga: mhlawumbe kungcono ukwenqaba? Ungacabangi ukuthi uyoke ashintshe isimo sakhe sengqondo kuwe.
Umbuzo wezingane: into esemqoka ukuthanda.
Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi umshado womphakathi ungathinta kakhulu izingane. Ubuhlobo obubi kuphela (okungavamile emindenini ejwayelekile) kungabathinta izingane ngokwengqondo. Ngezinye izikhathi izingane aziwazi ukuthi umama nobaba abadwetshiwe. Phakathi kwemikhaya enokwenza kahle, lapho izingane zizwa zikhululekile khona futhi zithola isipiliyoni esihle sempilo yomndeni, iningi lemishado yomphakathi.
Inkinga yomthetho: asazi amalungelo ethu
Ukuhlangana komuntu nowesifazane kubhekwa njengomshado womphakathi uma lo mbhangqwana uhlala ndawonye futhi uhola indlu evamile ngenyanga. Umshado wezomnotho unamandla okwezomthetho. Kodwa ukuze kuqinisekiswe isimo sezomthetho sabashadile, kubalulekile ukucela ubufakazi bomakhelwane nabangane: kumele baqinisekise ukuthi lo mbhangqwana uhola ipulazi elihlangene. Abashadile abashadile banamalungelo afanayo nabashadile abavumelekile: ilungelo lefa, ukuthola ihafu yengxenye ehlanganisiwe, njll.
I-Digest
Ukuhlola abantu abangaphezu kuka-4 000, ososayensi baseNgilandi baye bafakazela ukuthi imiqondo ethi "injabulo" nomshado wesimo sengqondo sesilisa ayihambisani. Ngokwezibikezelo zabo, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umndeni wendabuko kufanele uthathelwe indawo yalokho okubizwa okuthiwa yi-serial monogamy - uma indoda, ingashadi, ihlala kuqala nowesifazane oyedwa, bese enye isithathu, njalonjalo.
Ngokwezibalo, abesifazane abangu-18% baseRussia bakholelwa ukuthi umshado osemthethweni awudingekile - "kungaba kuhle ukuba usondelene", 27% bayaqaphela ukuthi umshado usaqhubeka nokwethemba owesifazane, kanti u-29% uyaqiniseka ukuthi umshado udingekile ukuba uthole imfundo egcwele yezingane.
Ngokwezibalo zokugcina, emibhangqwaneni eshadile engu-34 million, abantu abayizigidi ezingu-3 bashadile. Ukuba khona kwesitembu epasipoti kwenza abesifazane abangama-69% bajabule. Futhi phakathi kwabesifazane abahlala emshadweni womphakathi, u-40% kuphela abazicabangela ukuthi bayajabula.