Umshado womshado: okuhle noma kubi

Uhlala ndawonye ndawonye. Kodwa ukuthi izimpendulo zezihlobo nabangani abanomdlandla kangakanani, abanesithakazelo nini, uzogcina nini usayine. Yeka uhlobo lobuzenzisi! Futhi mhlawumbe, ekujuleni komphefumulo wakho, ingabe wena uzizwa sengathi akenzi isipho? Emashumini ambalwa eminyaka edlule, indoda nowesifazane abahlala ndawonye ngaphandle kokubhalisa ubudlelwane babizwa ngokuthi igama elithi "ama-cohabitants" elingathandeki futhi babesolwa ngokweqile ngumphakathi. Phakathi nekhulu lama-20, eNtshonalanga, futhi ngasekupheleni kwekhulu leminyaka naseRussia, isimo saqala ukushintsha: abantu bayeka ukunaka isitembu esibi kakhulu kule pasipoti futhi isifiso esifanayo sabesilisa nabesifazane ukuba baphile ndawonye saba isilinganiso sobuhlobo. Kube nezizathu eziningana zokushintsha okunjalo.
Namuhla ezweni lethu kukhona imindeni embalwa ehlala ngaphandle kwesitembu epasipoti yabo. Kodwa kuze kube manje abantu abaningi, ikakhulukazi besifazane, bacabanga ukuthi lo mshado ungaphansi futhi ulungele ukubekezelela nje kuphela njengento yesikhashana. Ake sibone ukuthi kungani abanye bekhetha umshado womphakathi, kanti abanye abamukeli.

Okuningi
Abantu bakhetha ukuhlala emshadweni womphakathi, ngoba:
Kodwa kukhona nalabo abaphikisa
Abantu abaningi abamukeli leli fomu lobuhlobo, ngoba:
Umshado ungavumelani
Ngomqondo wokuthi "umshado womphakathi", izinhlobonhlobo ezihlukahlukene kakhulu zokuhlala ngokuhlanganyela kwamadoda nabesifazane zihlala ndawonye. Kukhona into eyodwa kuphela ebabumbene: ukungabikho kokubhaliswa ngokomthetho.
Phila ngokuvumelana
Ukuphumelela komshado womphakathi kuxhomeke kunjani uhlobo lobuhlobo obukhona phakathi kwabantu nokuthi kungani bengabhalisi inyunyana yabo. Uma babe nobuhlobo obufudumele nokwethembela futhi banquma ukuhlala emshadweni womphakathi ndawonye, ‚Äč‚Äčkungani kungenjalo? Emndenini onjalo, ozakwethu baqonda ukuthi injabulo yabo ayixhomeki esitembu esithile. Futhi uma inyunyana imisa ukuhlolwa kwesikhathi, ngokushesha noma kamuva (ngokuvamile lapho kuzalwa ingane) umshado ubhalisiwe.

Ukwenza ubuhlobo noma cha kungukuthi ibhizinisi lakho. Uma isimo somfazi womuntu sihambisana nawe futhi ujabule emshadweni, khona-ke imibono yabanye abantu abacabanga ukuthi akulungile ukuhlala kanje, akufanele nje ukhathazeke. Uma ukungabikho kwesitembu epasipoti yakho kukukhathaza, khona-ke zama kuqala ukuqonda isizathu salokhu. Unomuzwa wokuthi awunkosikazi wangempela, kodwa umlingani ongenawo ama-disfranchised, ufuna ukuba nomntwana, kodwa wesaba ukuthi lokhu kuzoqeda ubuhlobo bakho futhi uzoba umama ongashadile? Bese uzama ukushintsha isimo: xoxa ngakho konke lokhu nomyeni wakho, uzama ukuba nomngqangi ngangokunokwenzeka futhi ungamcindezeli (khumbula: amadoda afune ukugijima ngaphansi komqhele). Uma ukhathalela izitatimende zezihlobo nabangane, bese ushintsha isimo sakho sengqondo: yeka ukucabanga ukuthi isitifiketi somshado sizoqinisekisa ukuthula nenjabulo yakho - akunjalo.

Umbuzo wabafazi: ukushintshaniswa kweziphakamiso.
Bambalwa abesifazane abazovela nomqondo wokwenza umuntu. Futhi akakwazi ukuthatha lokhu ngokuvamile. Isimiso se "isinyathelo sokuqala" sisengcono ukugcina. Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuhlala ndawonye (ngisho nomshado womphakathi), kungcono ukulinda ukunikezwa kwesandla kumuntu. Okufanelekile, indoda kufanele inikeze owesifazane ukuba amshade naye, futhi, lapho ebonise ukuhlakanipha, anganikeza ukuqala ukuzama ukuhlala ndawonye. Uma umuntu ethi akahlose ukushada nawe, kodwa uzohlela ukuhlala nawe okwesikhashana, cabanga: mhlawumbe kungcono ukwenqaba? Ungacabangi ukuthi uyoke ashintshe isimo sakhe sengqondo kuwe.

Umbuzo wezingane: into esemqoka ukuthanda.
Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi umshado womphakathi ungathinta kakhulu izingane. Ubuhlobo obubi kuphela (okungavamile emindenini ejwayelekile) kungabathinta izingane ngokwengqondo. Ngezinye izikhathi izingane aziwazi ukuthi umama nobaba abadwetshiwe. Phakathi kwemikhaya enokwenza kahle, lapho izingane zizwa zikhululekile khona futhi zithola isipiliyoni esihle sempilo yomndeni, iningi lemishado yomphakathi.

Inkinga yomthetho: asazi amalungelo ethu
Ukuhlangana komuntu nowesifazane kubhekwa njengomshado womphakathi uma lo mbhangqwana uhlala ndawonye futhi uhola indlu evamile ngenyanga. Umshado wezomnotho unamandla okwezomthetho. Kodwa ukuze kuqinisekiswe isimo sezomthetho sabashadile, kubalulekile ukucela ubufakazi bomakhelwane nabangane: kumele baqinisekise ukuthi lo mbhangqwana uhola ipulazi elihlangene. Abashadile abashadile banamalungelo afanayo nabashadile abavumelekile: ilungelo lefa, ukuthola ihafu yengxenye ehlanganisiwe, njll.

I-Digest
Ukuhlola abantu abangaphezu kuka-4 000, ososayensi baseNgilandi baye bafakazela ukuthi imiqondo ethi "injabulo" nomshado wesimo sengqondo sesilisa ayihambisani. Ngokwezibikezelo zabo, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umndeni wendabuko kufanele uthathelwe indawo yalokho okubizwa okuthiwa yi-serial monogamy - uma indoda, ingashadi, ihlala kuqala nowesifazane oyedwa, bese enye isithathu, njalonjalo.

Ngokwezibalo, abesifazane abangu-18% baseRussia bakholelwa ukuthi umshado osemthethweni awudingekile - "kungaba kuhle ukuba usondelene", 27% bayaqaphela ukuthi umshado usaqhubeka nokwethemba owesifazane, kanti u-29% uyaqiniseka ukuthi umshado udingekile ukuba uthole imfundo egcwele yezingane.

Ngokwezibalo zokugcina, emibhangqwaneni eshadile engu-34 million, abantu abayizigidi ezingu-3 bashadile. Ukuba khona kwesitembu epasipoti kwenza abesifazane abangama-69% bajabule. Futhi phakathi kwabesifazane abahlala emshadweni womphakathi, u-40% kuphela abazicabangela ukuthi bayajabula.