Ungashada kanjani, uma ungaphezu kuka-30: isiqondiso esifushane

Izibalo zinesihluku kubantu besifazane abangashadile abaneminyaka engama-30. Uthi owesifazane "uBalzac" unethuba elingcono lokuba yisisulu somsakazo kunokuba ashade. Lokhu kuyabuhlungu futhi akukhuthazi nganoma iyiphi indlela ukucinga isisombululo senkinga yokuzungulelwa ngesikhathi sokukhula. Abazali, abajwayele kanye nabasebenzi baqedile lo mbuzo wesakramente: "Hhayi, sekuvele nini?" Futhi ngifuna ukuphendula bonke ngombhalo ovela kwi-anecdote: "Ngithanda ukuya emngcwabeni, hhayi emishadweni. Abazibuze: "Uphi?"

Umndeni wendawo eseduze, lapho zonke izihlobo, abangane nezintombi ziphakathi kwezibili, kubangela umuzwa wokuhlazeka ngokuthi "akuzona zonke izinto ezifana nabantu." Ukuhambela imicimbi yomndeni kubangela ukudumazeka okungahambi kahle kokuphila komuntu siqu, ukungabikho kwezingane ezimbalwa, indlu enkulu nenja enhle. Ngeneminyaka engama-30, abesifazane abaningi kufanele babe nazo zonke lezi zimfanelo zomndeni. Kodwa lapha ikhalenda yokuphila iphonsa 31, 32, 33 noma 35, kodwa akukho lutho olushintshayo. Iyini imbangela yalesizungu nokuthi ungashada kanjani uma ungaphezu kuka-30?

Izimbangela zokuzungulelwa ngemva kweminyaka engama-30

Ucwaningo olwenziwa ososayensi bezesayensi luchaza izinto eziningana ezivimbela umuntu omdala, owesifazane owake wahlala emkhakheni wokuzibona emshadweni. Nazi okuyinhloko:

1. Ukuchithwa okuphezulu kwamadoda. Ngonyaka ngamunye omusha wokuphila kwakhe, owesifazane uba nesipiliyoni, efuna kakhulu yena kanye nezwe elikuzungezile. Uyazi ukuthi ufanelekile futhi, ngokufanele, akakulungeli ukunikeza ubuhle, isipiliyoni, ukuhlakanipha ngezindleko "zabathengi izimpahla", amadoda ambalwa angacabanga ukuthi akakwazi ukuwuthola. Kodwa uma owesifazane efuna kakhulu, amathuba amancane anayo emakethe yothando. Yiqiniso, akekho oshaya izingcingo zokubamba noma yikuphi ukufaka ama-muzhikku. Kuzuzisa ukusebenzisa ulwazi lwakho lokuphila ukuze uthole phakathi kokugeleza kwamadoda lowo onamandla. Futhi, njengoba iqhawe elidumile le-movie lithi: "Ngomama omuhle nendoda ingaba indoda."
2. Ukuzethemba okuphansi. Ngezinye izikhathi kwenzeka ukuthi owesifazane ekulweni nezinkimbinkimbi zezingane ulahlekelwe isikhathi sokwakha umndeni, azibonakalise yena nomhlaba wonke ukuthi ufanele okuthile: ihhovisi eliphezulu, indlu enkulu, imoto ehloniphekile. Noma usuvele ehlangene nokuphila komndeni okwehlulekile, lapho ahlanganiswe khona nezinkimbinkimbi ezonakalisa ukuzethemba. Ukungavikeleki, noma ngabe kufihliwe njengedumela elingenakulinganiswa noma isimo esimangalisayo, kuvimbela owesifazane ukuba azivumele yena umyeni nomndeni ongafanelekile.

3. Umbono womzingeli. Abesifazane ababeka umgomo wokushada nganoma yiliphi inani, amadoda asaba ngezinga elingenakuqhathaniswa, ezwa nge-spinal cord ukuthi yiyiphi "umzingeli". Futhi akuyona ingozi! Ngaleso sikhathi, umphumela, ukuziphatha kwesidumbu, washiya "ekuzingeleni". Amadoda azwela ngokucophelela amanzi ayo kanye nezibonakaliso ezingezona amazwi, okuyinto ubuchopho babo abakhetha njengengozi engaba khona. Abamele iqhaza eliqinile lesintu basuke bengakakulungeli ukuyeka ukunqunywa komzingeli obekwe ezingeni lezakhi zofuzo. Bona ngokwabo bakhetha ukubamba "ukuphanga" okuhlakaniphile nokuhlanekezela, okunye abanye abangazange bakwazi ukuwuthinta amanethiwekhi abo othando.
4. Ukuphikisana kwezinzwa. Ngokujwayelekile abesifazane abangashadile abangashadile, ukutholakala yilokho okufihliwe ngaphansi kwezinhloso zangempela zesizungu sabo. Abaningi babo, sebefinyelele eminyakeni engamashumi amathathu, bajwayele ukuhlala ngaphandle kwezibopho, ukukhathalela kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo, abakulungele ukuhlukanisa nalesi sithwama esingabizi ngisho nangenxa yesikhulu. Baqonda ukuthi yisikhathi esiphezulu sokushada, kodwa inkululeko, eyabonakala iyisizungu, iyabiza kakhulu. Ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi nokungaqiniseki kusondela endleleni eya emshadweni.

Izinzuzo zomshado emva kweminyaka engama-30

Sekuphele izinsuku lapho abesifazane emva kweminyaka engu-30 bebizwa ngokuthi izintombi ezindala, bathola ukuthi "umqhele wokungathembeki" futhi bafaka umshado emshadweni wabo. Namuhla, abesifazane abadlulile le minyaka yobudala babhekwa njengokwanele futhi benothando. Futhi imfashini yalaba besifazane isiyasebenza kakhulu. Amadoda amadala adinga umfazi ukulungele uthando oluvuthiwe nobuhlobo obuhlakaniphile. Abesifazane nabo babona ekutholeni isimo somshado emva kwezinzuzo ezingamashumi amathathu ngaphezu kokungalungi. Lokhu kufaka:

1. Ukuphila okucebile. Abaneminyaka engu-30 ubudala basebenamakhono okuphila okudingekayo. Bafunde ukuthi bangasebenzisa kanjani ngokufanele izimfanelo zabo zangasese nezitholakalayo, bafunde emaphutheni futhi bathembeke emvelweni wesilisa.
2. Amandla amakhulu. Owesifazane wakwazi ukuzimela ezinhlokweni eziningi zokuphila, futhi ukuthuthukisa izimfanelo ezidingekayo ukuze kuphumelele ukufezeka kwamakhono akhe wesifazane. Unakho okumele akunike, hhayi nje ukuthatha.

3. Isifundo somndeni. Owesifazane omdala wasebenzisa ngokugcwele intsha yakhe ukuhamba, ukubeka izigcawu zamadoda ezinyaweni zakhe futhi anelise ukuzethemba kwakhe kwesifazane. Uvuthiwe umndeni.
4. Ukwabelana ngokocansi. Kule minyaka ubukhulu besifazane ngokobulili, lo wesifazane wakwazi ukufunda futhi wafunda ukusebenzisa le mandla amakhulu. Indoda izothola ukhilimu kobulili kanye nesipiliyoni sothando.
5. Isimiso somama. Abesifazane ababeletha izingane lapho bekhulile baba nomthwalo wemfanelo, ohlakaniphile futhi ohlakaniphile omama. Ukubeletha emva kuka-30 kunesidingo sokuqwashisa okuphakeme.

Ungashada kanjani emva kweminyaka engu-30?

Uma amantombazane evunyelwe ukushada eneminyaka engama-20 kuphela lapho enesifiso senhliziyo eyisiphukuphuku, lapho uneminyaka engama-30 inhliziyo yowesifazane isibophezelekile kakade ukuba ihlakaniphe futhi ilandele iqhinga elithile. Ukushada kunezinyathelo ezine eziyinhloko:

1. Ukuthola izinhloso zangempela. Impendulo eqotho embuzweni wesidingo somshado iyoba yisihluthulelo senjabulo yakhe. Uma isifiso somshado sichazwa yizindinganiso zomuntu siqu, hhayi ngokucindezelwa komphakathi, yisikhathi ngempela sokushada.
2. Ukunqunywa kokukhetha okukhethiwe. Uma uneminyaka engama-30, cishe wonke owesifazane uyazi ukuthi yiziphi izimfanelo umyeni wakhe wesikhathi esizayo okumelwe abe nazo, futhi uma engekho noma ubani uzokwazi ukubuyisana. Lezi zimfanelo, ezivela kudatha yangaphandle eya endleleni yokucabanga, kufanele zibuyekezwe futhi "zichazwe" ephepheni.
3. Ukuzithuthukisa. Owesifazane kufanele azithanda yena kuqala. Ukuze wenze lokhu, udinga ukuzithandayo, ukutshala isikhathi, ulwazi kanye nezinsiza ekuthuthukisweni kwakho. Owesifazane ofundele kahle, oqeqeshwe kahle futhi onesihe uzothola umyeni ofanelekayo kunoma yimuphi ubudala.
4. Phuma ekukhanyeni. Ngeshwa, amadoda angakwazi ukuzenza endaweni yokududuza. Kuyadingeka ngenxa yalowo oyingqayizivele ukushintsha indlela yokuphila engokwenyama, ukushiya indlu ehlelekile futhi ube yindawo yomphakathi lapho kukhona khona amadoda avela ephusheni.