Ngakho-ke, uthando lunezinhlobo ezahlukene, izincazelo ezahlukene nezisusa. Futhi ezinye zazo ziphumelela kakhulu. I-analogies ngayinye ithatha ulwazi oluthe xaxa futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo isimo sengqondo, umthunzi womzwelo. Uthando lunokuqhathanisa okuningi, ngokuvamile luyisigqila futhi aluphatheli ulwazi oluthile, aluvezi lolo thando luthando. Kodwa kunezincazelo eziningi zesayensi noma zefilosofi. Manje sizozama ukucabanga ngothando ngokuhlunga kwezomnotho, futhi sizoletha inqubo ngokusebenzisa i-analogies yezomnotho.
Yini efika engqondweni yakho lapho uzwa "uthando njengendlela yezomnotho yokushintshanisa"? Mhlawumbe, kuwe ngaso leso sikhathi kukhona abantu abahlukunyezwayo noma intombazane ehlangana nomfana ngenxa ye-vodeneg yakhe. Kodwa eqinisweni, kulesi sihloko, ngeke sikhulume ngemali, kodwa i-axis yothando, ezindaweni eziningi ifana neyomnotho wezokushintshanisa.
Izazi zengqondo ziye zaphawula lokhu kufaneka kusukela ekupheleni kweMpi Yezwe Yesibili, ngokushesha nje lapho umphakathi, ukomnotho kanye nesitayela sempilo yethu yaqala ukushintsha. Ngempela, ubuhlobo phakathi kwabantu buyashintsha njalo, kuye ngokuthi ithonya lomlando, ekuthuthukiseni ubuchwepheshe kanye ne-psychology yesizwe. Ucabanga kanjani, ukuthi umphakathi ushintshile kangakanani kusukela ngaleso sikhathi? Yini esiyibonayo namuhla nothando? Futhi bawuthola luphi uhlobo namuhla?
Ukunaka, enye yezinkolelo zengqondo, lapho isimo sengqondo sabantu sifana nesenzo sokuthenga nokuthengisa emakethe.
Imakethe, amafomu wezimpahla
Ngamunye wethu unezimfanelo zakhe nobuso bakhe kuphela, kodwa sonke sinezibonakaliso ezivamile, izitayela, izici. Omunye ohlakaniphile kakhulu, omunye umuntu onethalente. Futhi nokho, ngamunye wethu uxhumekile emphakathini, sibheka ezinye izinhloso, ezinikeza zona, lokho okubekayo. Sonke singena "ebuhlotsheni bemakethe", sifuna "ukuthenga" izici ezithile, ukunikeza ngokubuyisela lokho esinakho.
Ngamunye wethu kakade uyazi ukuthi yini ayifunayo. Uma singazi ngokugcwele lokhu, khona-ke esikhathini sethu sizovezwa ngokungazi lutho. Uma sibheka othandekayo, futhi ekusesheni kwakhe okucatshangelwayo futhi kungenzeka ukuthi sihlala njalo, khona-ke ekhanda lethu sesivele sinesimiso esithile, isikhangiso, uhlelo lokusebenza. I-Mitak noma ngenye indlela ihlunga abantu abazungezile, ngokuphathelene nekhwalithi esiyidingayo. Njengokungathi ufuna umkhiqizo ngezici kanye nezakhiwo ezizodingeka epulazini. Ngokuvamile sinezinto ezihlukene zokuthanda, kodwa namanje zinento efanayo, okungukuthi izindinganiso esizikhethayo umlingani ongenzeka. Sifuna ohlakaniphile, omuhle, othakazelisayo, enomqondo omuhle wehlazo, indoda enesibindi, nesibindi, enomphakathi. Njengomthetho, zonke lezi zimfanelo ezinhle zobuciko zinezikhundla zabo ezibaluleke kakhulu, izinga lesidingo, kodwa iningi lazo lihlangene njalo nezinhlu "zezifiso" zaleso ngasinye. Ngomunye wethu udinga umkhiqizo ohlukile - omunye umuntu uyakwazisa ubuhle, kanti omunye umuntu uhlakaniphile wengqondo, ukuthi umuntu obaluleke kakhulu amandla okuziphatha kwakhe, kanti abanye badinga ukuthobeka nokuthunyelwa. Yiqiniso, kuyinkimbinkimbi ukulinganisa abantu abanezimpahla, kodwa ngamunye wethu unezidingo zakhe zempahla. Abazali bethu basitshala imali kithi, bafundisa izinto ezidingekayo kuze kube yilapho sikhula ngokwabo ukuze "sizithenge intengo". Isifebe kule ndaba siyisibonelo esicacile nesicacile sento yokuthenga owesifazane - sidinga izindinganiso zakhe futhi kulokhu singathenga umzimba wakhe, ubuhle, uthando kanye nokukhokha imali. Lesi isenzo esivulekile, lapho owesifazane, umuntu enza njengempahla. Isenzo sokuthenga nokuthengisa lapha siphinde sigunyazwe ngokusobala, njengoba isenzo somthetho somshado. Umehluko kuphela ukuthi sithenga owesifazane ihora noma impilo. Yini esiyidingayo: umzimba noma uhlamvu, umphefumulo womuntu?
Amagugu azuzayo emakethe yobuhlobo
Cabanga ngalesi sibonelo: owesifazane omuhle ufuna indoda. U-erudite, ufunda okuningi, ubukeka emuhle, unesibalo se-chic futhi ukhanga abameleli abaningi bezocansi ezinamandla nxazonke. Unomlingiswa ongeyena udlame, uzinikela ngokuzethemba, ukudala. Ngakho-ke, "into efiselekayo" emakethe yothando futhi unezinhlobonhlobo ezahlukene nokukhetha, ngoba izidingo eziningi njengomfazi ongase akwazi ukuzondla. Kulokhu kubonakala sengathi akakwazi ukufuna umuntu oyisiphukuphuku, ongekho ozokwazi ukuwanelisa imibuzo yakhe. Ufuna umuntu ofanelekayo ukushintshaniswa kwezimfanelo, okungukuthi yini edingekayo ngempela owesifazane namuhla - indoda ekhulile emphakathini ohlakaniphile, omuhle, unomuzwa wokuhlekisa futhi ngendlela yakhe ubuntu obuthandekayo nobuhle.
Ubuhle besifazane nesimo senhlalakahle yindoda yizinkampani ezizuzisa kakhulu futhi ezivamile zanamuhla. Bangu-alingana ngamandla. Ubuhle besifazane yisimilo sakhe, ukubaluleka. Iletha inzuzo encane kumthengi, kodwa isici esiqinile sendlela yokushintshanisa. Ubuhle banikezwa owesifazane obelethayo, ukuvumelanisa komzimba wakhe kanye nezici, angakwazi ukukhathalela nokugcina lokhu kuvumelana kuphela. Indoda, ukuze ifakwe emakethe yothando futhi imele into efanelekayo yokushintshanisa, kudingeka usebenze okuningi kuwe. Ukufuna isimo sezenhlalakahle, ukuthuthukisa izici zobuntu, ukufunda ukuba nesibindi, ukuhlakanipha nokufaneleka, ukuhlonipha nokufunwa kwabesifazane, ukuqonda kwengqondo yabo ... Indoda yenza umzamo omkhulu wokufunwa futhi uthande ukuze uhambisane nemigomo yezenhlalakahle. Kowesifazane, ubuhle bunganikezwa njengesipho kusukela ngesikhathi sokuzalwa futhi ezimweni eziningi azixhomeki kuso. Ukungabi khona kobuhle ngokuvamile kubulalayo kuye futhi lapha ukusesha kunciphise kuphela inhlanhla.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubuhle njengenzuzo cishe akunakwenzeka ukulahlekelwa usuku olulodwa, ngesikhathi esifanayo nesimo senhlalakahle samadoda kanye namagugu angokwenyama ayingozi kakhulu.
Ekugcineni,
Ingabe uyaqonda ukuthi lezi zihloko zithini? Uyavuma ukuthi ubuhlobo bwanamuhla bufana nesenzo sokuthenga nokuthengisa, futhi uthando lunikezwa abaningi njengendlela yezomnotho yokushintshanisa? Noma kunjalo, ngamunye wethu unombono wethu kanye nesimo sengqondo kulokho okusizungezile. Omunye uyazi ukuthi angathanda kanjani, afune uthando, ahlabelele izinkanyezi futhi ahloniphe ubuhle bomphefumulo womunye umuntu, azizwe uxhumano lwengqondo phakathi kwe "isigamu", uyazi ukuthi angathola kanjani uthando lweqiniso nokuqotho empilweni. Ubuhlobo babanye empeleni bufana nokushintshaniswa kwezimpahla futhi abakwazi ukuwela umngcele wobugovu babo. njengoba sithanda - sinquma futhi thina kuphela.