Amantombazane amaningi asebekhulile anamantombazane eneminyaka eyishumi neshumi nanhlanu ubudala. Wonke umuntu uyakhuthaza ngendlela yakhe, kodwa bavumelana ngenye indlela: amantombazane amancane amnandi, anhle futhi angenangqondo.
Ubuhlobo phakathi kwentombazane nomfana omdala kunzima kakhulu kunokusebenzisana nabantwana abaneminyaka eyodwa. Yini ongayilindela ebuhlotsheni obunjalo? Yiqiniso, enye yezinketho ezivame kakhulu ukuzijabulisa. Yebo, akusizi ukuzwakala lokhu, kodwa kubafana, lamantombazane amathoyizi nje. Ukudla okulula. Abasazi konke okusemqoka kokuphila, babona konke ngokusebenzisa izibuko ezinemibala egcwele futhi bakholelwa cishe wonke amagama. Kulula kakhulu intombazane enjalo ukuba "ibele" futhi izuze kuye konke akufunayo ezinsukwini ezimbalwa nje. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi abafana bafuna ukuzijabulisa, ikakhulukazi ngaphandle kokucindezela. Ngakho bakhetha amantombazane angenamahloni angenamahloni futhi bafaka izifiso zabo zibe yiqiniso.
Yiqiniso, kwenzeka nokuthi umfana uthanda ngempela. Uze ucabange ukuthi konke kuyinto engathà sina. Kodwa, ngeshwa, lokhu akuhlali isikhathi eside. Noma kunjalo, umehluko oneminyaka udlala indima enkulu. Yiqiniso, okokuqala kungcono ngisho nokumnandi, ukulalela izinkulumo ezingakhohlisi nokuphanga. Kodwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, iqala ukucasula. Umehluko weminyaka eyisikhombisa kuya kweyisishiyagalolunye kulesi sikhathi ubukeka kahle kakhulu. Ngisho noma le ntombazane ihlakaniphile engaphezu kweminyaka yakhe futhi ifundwa kahle, isengumntwana. Inkosikazi enjalo ingakwazi ukukhipha imigomo, caphuna uSchopenhauer noSappho, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ikholelwa ezintweni ezenziwa abantu abadala abadala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, eneminyaka engaphezu kwamashumi amabili, amadoda aqala ukucabanga ngobuhlobo obuseduze, futhi amantombazane afanele nje angakufaneleki ngenxa yobudala bawo. Baqala ukuhlala, ngakho bafuna ukubona konke, bafunde konke, bahambe yonke indawo. Futhi lo mfana kakade udinga uhlobo oluthile lokuzinza. Lapho eqala ukuchazela lokhu ngentshiseko, ngokuvamile, intombazane ibona konke ngenzondo, igxeke othandekayo ngokuba ngumnikazi futhi ingamvumeli ukuba aphile.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, izizukulwane ezihlukene zinezithakazelo ezihlukene ngokuphelele. Ezweni lanamuhla, ngisho nokuhluka kweminyaka emine kuvame ukuzwa. Izwe liyashintsha futhi likhula ngokushesha kakhulu. Isizukulwane ngasinye sihlala, njengokungathi ngesikhathi salo futhi asiqondi ngaso sonke isikhathi abantu abavela kwezinye izikhathi ozimele. Ngisho noma bobabili umfana kanye nentombazane bezama ukuzivumelanisa, ngokuvamile, kuvela ubudlova obuvamile phezu komuntu. Ekugcineni, konke kuphelela emahlakalweni futhi kuphelile. Ngemva kwalokho, bobabili bahlupheka.
Amadoda amadala avamile afisa ukwenza owesifazane wakhe ahlakaniphe futhi aqonde ngokwanele. Futhi, akukho cala kumantombazane amancane asanda kuphila, ukuhlakanipha kwabo sekuqala ukuvela. Zonke lezi zizathu ziholela ekuxabaneni okuqhubekayo, ezihlambalaza nokungaqondi kahle.
Yingakho, bafana, bavame ukukhetha ukuhlukanisa izindlela. Yiqiniso, lesi sinqumo asitholakali nhlobo ngamaminithi awo wesibili. Kuphakama imibuzo: yini engalungile kimi, ngimbi ngani, kungani engingithandi? Incazelo engacacile yalesi simo ayidabuli futhi iyamukelwa. Vumelana, ngoba wonke umuntu oneminyaka eyishumi nesithupha noma eyishumi nesithupha ubudala kubonakala sengathi wayemdala, ohlakaniphile futhi olungele ukudala. Ngemuva kokuphela kwesikhathi seminyaka sibona ukuthi kuncane kangakanani futhi kungenalutho ngaleso sikhathi.
Yiqiniso, wonke umuntu unelungelo lokukhetha ukuthi ubani okufanele abe ngubani nokuthi ubani ongamthanda. Kodwa namantombazane asebancane kakhulu kungcono ukubopha ubudlelwane nabangane noma abafana, abadala iminyaka embalwa. Kulesi simo, bayoba nokuningi nokuvame ukuvumelanisa izithakazelo kanye nezinto eziza kuqala ekuphileni.
Ngokwemvelo, singasho ukuthi awukwazi ukuyala inhliziyo yakho. Kodwa kulokhu kungcono ukucabanga ukuthi uzimisele kangakanani ukuthatha izingozi, uqaphela ukuthi ezimweni eziningi lobu buhlobo buzophela ngesikhathi sokuphumula. Ingabe kuwufanelekile ukuzwa ubuhlungu bokuhlukanisa, uma imizwa ingaqedwa, kuze kube yilapho ivuliwe ngokuqinile.
Yiqiniso, kuhluke kakhulu uma intombazane ingaphezu kweminyaka engamashumi amabili, futhi umfana cishe cishe amashumi amathathu. Kule minyaka yobudala, umehluko ungaphansi kakhulu. Into yukuthi abesifazane baqala ukucabanga ngomndeni kanye nobuhlobo obunzulu ngaphambili, futhi abafana beza kulesi siphetho eduze kwamashumi amathathu. Yingakho ubuhlobo babo buzinzile, ngenxa yokuqonda kanye nemigomo ejwayelekile. Kule minyaka yobudala, owesifazane usevele ekwazi ukuqonda nokusekela indoda, futhi naye, uzokwazi ukuyivikela nokuyihlinzeka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, lapho abantu bedlula isiteji sama-maximalism abasha, baqeda izintshisekelo eziningi ezinganeni, okungahambisani nakho okungabangela izingxabano. Futhi lokhu kwenzeka kanjani lapho usemncane. Umbhangqwana ungaxabana ngoma ingoma, i-movie noma ubudlelwano ne-subculture. Futhi, impikiswano izoba yingozi kakhulu futhi akekho ozofuna ukuvuma. Abantu abadala abaningi bayaqonda ukuthi ukunambitheka nombala ngisho namakaki ahlukile, yingakho wonke umuntu kufanele nje ahlale nombono wakhe. Lesi sibonelo yingxenye encane yalokho okungaholela ezinkingeni emibhangqwana lapho umfana esivele engaphezu kweminyaka engamashumi amabili, kanti le ntombazane ingakaqedi esikoleni.
Yiqiniso, kuyo yonke imithetho kukhona okuhlukile. Yingakho ngezinye izikhathi imibhangqwana ejabulayo yenzeka. Uma sikhuluma nge-psychology yobuhlobo obunjalo, ke, ngokuvamile umfana uthanda ukuba uthisha, uhlobo lobaba othandekayo bakhe. Kukhona isigaba esinjalo samadoda afisa ukunquma yonke into ngokwabo futhi ayathinteka yizinkomba zezingane nezithandwa zabathandekayo. Kodwa namanje amadoda anjalo ayingcosana. Ngokuyinhloko, ngokushesha noma kamuva, wonke umuntu ufuna ukuzwa ukuthi othandekayo wakhe angamnakekela, amsize futhi amsekele esimweni esinzima. Ngeshwa, intombazane eneminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu ayinakukwazi ukuyipha. Yingakho izinhliziyo zabesifazane abasha ziphukile, ngisho nangaphandle kokuqaphela inkinga yangempela. Futhi emva kobudlelwano obunjalo emphefumulweni, kaningi, kunezibazi.
Ubuhlobo obuhle ukuvumelanisa kwemicabango, ukuthanda, izifiso, izinto eziza kuqala kanye nezinhloso. Ubuhlobo phakathi kwentombazane nomfana omdala, ngeshwa, abakwazi ukuziqhenya ngokuba khona kwazo zonke lezi zingxenye. Yingakho wonke owesifazane osemusha kufanele acabange kanzima ngaphambi kokuthandana nomfana omdala.