Ekuphileni, lapho kunezinto ezimbili - ngaphandle kokuxabana okwenzekayo, ngisho nobuhlobo obuhle kakhulu abuqinisekisiwe ngokumelene nokuxabana. Kubalulekile ukuthi ekupheleni kwengxabano bekungekho isifiso sokugcina futhi ngokungenakuqhathaniswa ukuthi ungaboni lo muntu. Kodwa uma ngale ngxabano uya endaweni yokugcina phezu kobudlelwano, bese ufika. Ungavumeli isitha sivule imilomo yabo, sivuselele umonakalo wonke umlando wokukhulumisana, sishaye yonke intukuthelo, futhi ekugcineni siqale ukushaya izitsha ezinikezwa unina.
Uma uhlose ukuqeda ukuxabana ngokuthula, ungakhumbuli izikhalazo zakudala, emva kwakho konke, kube khona ukubuyisana emva kwazo, unike ithuba lokukhuluma nomlingani wakho, kodwa ungakhulumi izwi lakho, ngoba ukumemeza nokukhala akulokothi kuholele kunoma yini enhle. Izimangalo zikhona njalo futhi zizoba, njengoba ubuhlobo phakathi kwakho bukhula, futhi abantu abahle abakho. Kodwa uma kunezinkinga ezingaxazululwa phakathi kwakho, ungazitshele ngokushesha abangane bakho, zicele ukuthi zisekelwe futhi zizwele. Sombulula izinkinga zakho.
Ngokuvamile ezimweni zokuphila kuphela owesifazane uyakwazi ukuvuma amaphutha akhe kuqala noma ukusiza umngane wakhe ukuba enze isinyathelo sokuqala sokubuyisana. Owesifazane ulula futhi unomusa ngakho-ke uzame njalo ukuqeda ukuxabana nokubuyisana. Uzokubonga futhi uzohlangana nawe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukufungela kufanele ukwazi futhi ngokushesha usuke ekuxabaneni. Khona-ke izingxabano ngeke zibonakale kakhulu ebuhlotsheni bakho. Ngeke uhlale uthule okwesikhashana ngesikhathi sokuxabana, ngalokhu uvumela kuphela intukuthelo yakho ukuba ikwazi ukuzibamba futhi ivuse isimo, okungaholela ekufeni. Funda ukuthethelela. Ngisho noma ungaxoleli uthethelelwe. Kuyinto engavamile ukuba umuntu aphutha.
Ukuziphatha komuntu okungaqondakali ngesikhathi sokuxabana, kuvame ukuthi kwenzeka ukuthi abalingani abaye bajwayele iminyaka eminingi baqala ukugxekwa nokuhleka usulu hhayi nje kuphela ukwehluleka okuzuziwe, kodwa futhi ngokomzimba, okuyiwona wonke umuntu onayo. Kodwa, ngemuva kwakho konke, kuzomele uzame ukungaboni kuwo. Futhi ukugxeka okungapheliyo ukuyeka kuzoba yinkinga. Cabanga, gweba, mhlawumbe kulokhu kuhlukunyezwa unesabelo sakho sokusola.
Yeka ukuthi ungafungi, ngodade odingayo ukukhumbula imithetho embalwa:
Uma kungenzeka ukuthi ugweme ukuvela kwesimo sokuphikisana, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunzima kanjani, zama ukwenza kanjalo. Kungcono izwe elimbi kunokuxabana okuhle.Uma "ukucaciswa kobuhlobo" kwaqala, khuluma ngokuthula, ngaphandle kokuphakamisa izwi lakho. Ukumemeza kusenzi lutho. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, zama ukugcina izinyembezi. Amantombazane awasho lokhu.
Ungakhumbuli izikhalazo zakudala, ngoba emva kwazo kwakukhona ukubuyisana kakade.
Ungasongeli. Lona umzamo omkhulu kunawo wonke wokufeza lokho okufiswayo ngokufunga ngokunciphisa okufushane, hhayi ukuxoxisana, kodwa ngokusebenzisa ukuxolisa, ukushaya nokuhlukunyezwa.Uma uxabana nomthandi, funda ukuthi ungamangaleli omunye umuntu. Amagama abhekiswa kubathandekayo wakho: "Uzobe usolwa yilokho konke", kuthathwa njengesibindi. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, awufaki izidingo ezicacile, kodwa ucindezela umlingani ukuthi azizwe enecala. Umqondo wokuhlazeka nokubi ungakha ubudlelwane.
Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi indoda nowesifazane kukhona izingodo ezimbili zezwekazi elilodwa, nemibono ehlukene ngezimo ezihlukahlukene zomzwelo, futhi ngokuvumelana nokuqonda okuhlukile kwenkinga eyodwa. Funda ukuhlakanipha nokuzolile ukubona zonke izinkinga. Akunabanqobi empikiswaneni, wonke umuntu ulahlekelwa. Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuthi impi nokuthula ebuhlotsheni kuxhomeke kubesifazane kuphela, ilawula, futhi iyakwazi ukunciphisa ukushaya.