Kodwa-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ososayensi abanzima nabachwepheshe endle balwa kanjani, kwakungekho indlela yokuthola impendulo engavamile kulo mbuzo. Isigameko esiyinhloko, ngokusho odokotela abaningi, akusona isikhathi, kodwa ukulungele intombazane ngokwayo, kokubili ngokomzimba nokuziphatha.
Ngokwezibalo, njengamanje isilinganiso seminyaka yokulahlekelwa ubuntombi emhlabeni kuneminyaka eyi-18. Yiqiniso, lokhu kuyizibalo kuphela, empeleni izigidi zamantombazane ziqala ukulala ocansini kakhulu. Kodwa odokotela baxwayisa ukuthi ukuqala kokusebenza ngokocansi ngezinye izikhathi kwandisa ingozi yokukhula kwezifo ezivuvukalayo endaweni yesisu. Konke mayelana nesimo semvelo. I-hymen idlala indima yenkinga ehloselwe ukuvikela umzimba omncane kusuka ekutheleleni kuze kube yilapho i-flora evikelayo isakhiwe. Enye ingozi, okuyinto ngokuvamile engacatshangwa ngamantombazane amancane anqume ukuba abe ngabantu abadala, kungenzeka ukuthi ahlukumeze i-epithelium yama-vaginal, esesimncane kakhulu.
Uma sikhuluma ngomkhawulo weminyaka engaphezulu, okungukuthi, uma "sekwephuzile" ukulahlekelwa ubuntombi, khona-ke, lo mngcele awuchazwiswanga, kodwa, ngokwamanye odokotela, i-hymen nekhathi ilahlekelwa ukuqina kwayo, futhi ukuphuka kwayo kuyoba buhlungu kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, leli phuzu likude nokungaqondakali - ochwepheshe abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi ubukhulu be-hymen buxhomeke kuphela kwisakhiwo ngasinye somzimba wesifazane ngamunye.
Ngokuqondene nezokwelapha, kodwa isici sengqondo, kufaneleka ukukhumbula ukuthi ukulahlekelwa ubuntombi kuyisigaba esibaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwabesifazane bonke. Kusukela ekuhlangenwe nakho kokuqala ukuthi impilo yakhe ephathelene nobulili ixhomeke, kusukela ngaleso sikhathi umqondo wesifazane uzalwa. Futhi uma kuvela kulolu phuzu ukubuza lo mbuzo, yini ephazamisa iminyaka yokulahlekelwa ubuntombi, khona-ke impendulo ngeke ibe yinto engafanelekiyo: iminyaka iyathinta impilo yonke yobunikazi. Emva kwakho konke, ngokukhula, umthwalo wemfanelo utholakele, isimo sengqondo esingathí sina ngokuqondene nobulili. Amantombazane asemasontweni amancane, njengombuso, ungacabangi ngemiphumela, thatha lesi sinyathelo ngaphandle kwesithakazelo noma ngaphansi kwengcindezi evela kumlingani wakho. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, bavame ukungakulungeli, ngenxa yalokho banezinhlobo ezimbi kuphela ezihlobene nobulili, okungashiya impendulo ejulile ekuphileni komuntu omdala okuqhubekayo.
Enye iphuzu elibalulekile le "nesikhathi sokuqala" eliphumelelayo ukukhetha komlingani. Yiqiniso, umuntu onolwazi uyazi kangcono indlela yokuziphatha nentombazane, indlela yokuphumula nokumjabulisa. Kodwa-ke, kuvame ukuthi kwenzeke ukuthi imibhangqwana engenalwazi, kodwa uthando lomunye nomunye, lingabhekana ngqo nalo msebenzi, isebenze kancane kancane, ngobumnene nangothando. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwakungakanani, kubalulekile ukuthi ungakhohlwa ukuthi okokuqala ungakhulelwa noma uphethwe igciwane, ngakho awukwazi ukukhohlwa ngokuvikelwa.
Inkinga ebalulekile, ukuhlukumeza abesifazane abangenalwazi, ukuhlukunyezwa kwenqubo ngokwalo. Ukuvela kwale nganekwane kubangelwa ukuthi intombazane eye isetshenziselwe ukukholelwa ukuthi ukulahlekelwa ubuntombi bayo iyabuhlungu kakhulu, ngokungahambisani nemisipha yegciwane lesivumelwano, futhi lokhu kuvimbela ukungena kwendoda bese kubangela ubuhlungu. Umkhandlu kuleli cala kungaba yinye kuphela - ukuphumula ngangokunokwenzeka, ukuze ujabule ngangokunokwenzeka futhi ungaphuthumanga.
Ngakho-ke, kunzima kakhulu ukunikeza impendulo yombuzo lapho kufanele ube umuntu omdala. Intombazane ngayinye ingumuntu ngamunye, futhi ekuxazululeni le nkinga kufanele uthembele, okokuqala, ngemizwa.