Kufana nabo bonke abanye
Ukungaqondakali komuntu kungabonakaliswa eqinisweni lokuthi akaveli emphakathini wakho. Yilokho, isibonelo esihle kakhulu: yonke inkampani ilalela i-rap, futhi umfana wakho ulalele. Ngenxa yalokhu, uba yisihambi kwabanye, ngoba akahlanganyeli nokuthanda kwabo, ngaphezu kwalokho, uyathinteka kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, uma uqonda ukuthi ukuthanda kwensizwa yakho kuhluke ngokuphawulekayo kulokho abangani bakho abathandayo, khona-ke lo mbhangqwana awuyona into engavamile. Kuyinto nje ukuthi uyaphuma phakathi kwalabo abathandwayo. Lo umehluko ubangela ukungaqondi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ukuhlukunyezwa. Insizwa ingahlekwa inhlamba ngenxa yokungabi njengabo bonke abanye, ukubeka imikhuba yakhe nokuthanda izinto ngendlela engafanele. Kodwa uma wazi ukuthi kunabantu abaningi abanokuthandwa okufanayo kanye nokubukwa, kufanele udalule kubangani bakho ukuthi udinga ukucabanga ngaphezulu. Awukwazi ukwahlulela umuntu ngoba nje akafani nabo. Khumbuza abangani bakho ukuthi phakathi kwabantu abanjengesoka lakho, bayobe sebebukeka beyinqaba futhi bengenakuqondakala. Njengengane, lokhu umehluko ekuthandeni nasekuziphatheni kuholele ekutheni inhlanzi emhlophe iyenziwa kusuka kwengane, ihlambalazwa, ibizwa, ithi ayimangalisa. Ngeshwa, empilweni yabantu abadala, abanye abantu bayaqhubeka nokuqhubeka. Uma kwenzeka, uma abangane bengathandi ukwamukela izimpikiswano futhi bazoqhubeka bezama ukuzimela, kubalulekile ukucabanga ukuthi ubani ngempela u-ngempelastrong, ngoba ukulahla okunzima komuntu okuhlukile kubantu, kukhuluma kuphela ngezinkinga ezingokwengqondo zabanye abantu abangafuni ukwazi lutho olusha, ngokungazi futhi ngokucophelela esaba ukuthi othile ungcono kunabo, ngakho abafuni ukuxhumana nezwe langempela, eligcwele izinhlamvu ezahlukene, ukuthanda, okuthandayo kanye nokunye umehluko phakathi kwabantu d.
Okholwayo
Ngokuvamile abantu baphathwa ngokuntula ukuqonda kulabo abazinikele ekukholweni. Uma insizwa yakho ikholwa, ikakhulukazi uma ilungu lalabo okuthiwa yihlelo (amaPentecostal, ama-charismatics kanye ne-tadaleye), kungenzeka ukuthi abangane bakho bayombheka njengengavamile. Kwabaningi, ukukholwa kuNkulunkulu kuyindaba eqondene nomuntu siqu, okungeyona isonto noma ihlelo elingadingeki. Ngomfanekiso ofanayo, abantu abaningi phakathi kwentsha ngokuvamile bayangabaza ngenkolo futhi bacabange ukuthi abakholelwa kuNkulunkulu. Ngokwemvelo, lowo okholwa ngentshiseko kuNkulunkulu, uzobonakala sengathi uyinqaba kakhulu. Emva kwakho konke, kubakholwa abaningi abaqotho kuNkulunkulu, kufana nokholo ezindabeni zezinganekwane. Futhi yimuphi umuntu omdala ojwayelekile ozozethemba ezindabeni zezinganekwane? Yingakho, emva kokufunda ukuthi isoka lakho lingumkholwa weqiniso, abangane futhi uqala ukumphatha njengomuntu ongaziwa, ongaqondakali kulo mphakathi. Kodwa ukuziphatha okunjalo okuyingxenye akuvamile. Wonke umuntu unelungelo lokukholelwa kulokho akufunayo, okungenani kuNkulunkulu, ngisho nakuLuka Skywalker. Futhi nakuba engabalimazi abanye ngokukholwa kwakhe futhi engayifuni, kusobala ukuthi akufanelekile ukulahla umuntu onjalo. Ngakho-ke, uma wazi ukuthi isoka lakho alikhulumi nabangane benkolo futhi alinga ukuguqula ekukholweni, kuleso simo inkampani yakho ayilungile. Nguye oziphatha ngokungaqondakali, ngoba uqala ukwahlulela umuntu ngenxa yezifiso zakhe kanye nemibono yakhe. Mhlawumbe bakhuluma ngawe, ngoba bayazi ukuthi ama-halfct of sectarians aphinde aguquke abe yihlelo. Kodwa uma wena ngokwakho ubona ukuthi umfana akafuni ukwenza lokhu, ukuthi uwanele futhi uyazi ukuthi wonke umuntu unelungelo lokuzikhethela, khona-ke abangane bakho sebevele beziphatha njengamahlelo angamahlelo angempela. Bamazama ukuphoqa umuntu ukuba amkhiphe ngaphandle kokholo, amqiniseke ngazo zonke izindlela ukuthi aphutha, kubize ngokuthi kuyinqaba kuphela ngoba abantu abakholelwa njengabo. Kulokhu, udinga ukuxoxa ngalolu daba nabangani bakho bese ubatshela ukuthi ukuqonda komuntu wakho akukhathazi muntu, ngoba akafaki imibono yakhe kubo, ngakho-ke akufanele babeke umbono wakhe kubo.
Kodwa uma ubona ukuthi lo mfana uqobo ubangela ubuhlobo obunjalo bomngane, uqala izinsizakalo zomkhuleko endaweni egcwele abantu abaningi, ubasongela ngamaHyenas of Fire, njalo uzama ukuguqula, khona-ke ukuziphatha kwakhe kungabizwa kungavamile. Kulesi simo, kuzodingeka ukhulume ngokuqondile nesoka lakho. Chaza ukuthi wonke umuntu unelungelo lokuphila ngendlela aphila ngayo futhi akholelwa kulokho akufunayo. Ngakho ungakhathazeki nabantu, zama ukuphoqa umbono wakho bese uthola lokho akufunayo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi abakholwayo abashisekayo banzima kakhulu ukwakha ubudlelwane ngabakholwa abangakholwa noma abahlobene nenkolo ngokuhlukile kwabo. Ngakho-ke, uma ubona ukuziphatha okunjalo isoka lakho, usadingeka ucabange ukuthi kufanelekile ukwakha ubuhlobo naye. Ngempela, ekuqaleni noma ekupheleni, uzodinga ukuguqula ukholo lwakhe. Futhi uma ungayidingi, ubuhlobo bakho buzogcina bube yizingxabano nezimpikiswano njalo ngesisekelo semibono ehluke ngokuphelele enkolweni nasekuphileni ngokujwayelekile.
Kuyinto engavamile ngempela
Kodwa ngaphandle kweminye imibono nezinkolelo, umuntu angase abe yinqaba ngempela. Futhi kuyamangalisa ngesikhathi lapho iqala ukwenza izinto ezingamukeleki emphakathini, ngoba ziphikisana nemithetho eyisisekelo yamasiko nokuziphatha. Ngendlela, akufanele nanini idideke uthando lokuhleka kwamazwe ngamazwe angaphandle. Isibonelo, uma umfana ephikisana egijima ebhulukwe lakhe futhi eqaqa esitolo sonyaka omusha ibhodlela le-champagne - khona-ke ungumdlali we-joker. Kodwa uma umuntu ngomusa eya emsebenzini, sekuvele kubonakala ngokucacile ukuthi unobunqunu. Ngakho-ke, uma abangane bakho bekutshela lezi zibonelo ezingajwayelekile zokuziphatha kwentsha yakho, kufanelekile ukucabanga ngakho. Ukuhlolisisa lesi simo bese unquma ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe kuyihlaya noma wenza konke okusemqoka. Futhi uma kunjalo, kufanele ucabange ukuthi ngabe udinga ukuhlangabezana nomfana onjalo, ngoba kungenzeka ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe kuyisibonakaliso esiqondile sokuphambana kwengqondo. Futhi izinkinga zengqondo yinkinga enkulu kakhulu nomthwalo omkhulu womuntu oseduze. Ngakho cabanga ngalokho okufunayo ebuhlotsheni nokuthi ngabe ungakwazi yini ukubekezelela umuntu ongaziwa yonke impilo yakho, mhlawumbe, futhi uyiphathe. Uma uqonda ukuthi yikuphi "injabulo" ongayidingi, kungcono ukuhamba, ngoba ukungaqondakali kwamanje kokuziphatha neminyaka kuzokwandisa kuphela, kanye nokuqhubeka kwezifo ezingqondweni.