Abesifazane bavame ukuzithola besesimweni lapho amadoda ephakamisa khona amazwi bese eqala ukumemeza kubo. Izizathu zingase zihluke, kusuka kwekhati elibi kakhulu futhi likhohlise. Ngisho nemininingwane encane kunazo zonke ingabangela ukucasuka kumadoda, okubangela ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa. Ngezinye izikhathi lezi zikhala zingaphetha kabi kokubili. Khumbula lezo zimo lapho, ngemva kokumemeza, amadoda aphakamisa isandla ngokuphindaphindiwe ngokumelene nabesifazane. Ubani kule nkinga enenhlanhla? Akekho. Owesifazane unemivimbo, lokhu kungcono kakhulu, futhi indoda yathola isixwayiso samaphoyisa uma enenhlanhla. Ngokuphindwe kabili emva kwalokhu kwakukhona ukuhlukaniswa noma izinyathelo zomthetho, eziphela kabi amadoda.
Kukhona ngempela ukumemeza okuningi emakhaya ethu namuhla. Le ndoda iyakhala, owesifazane uyamangala, uqala ukumesaba futhi aziphathe ngendlela engafanele.
Izazi zengqondo ngokuvamile ziqondisa amadoda, bathi, babesesimweni esithintekayo. Lapho amadoda ekhala abesifazane - lokhu akusiyona isikhali esingcono kakhulu, noma ngabe siyasebenza.
Ngakho-ke ukukhala nokulihumusha kahle? Ukukhala kuyisenzo sokuthi indoda noma owesifazane uyasabela kanjani ekufuseni kwangaphandle.
Isizathu sokukhala kungase kube ukungakwazi ukuthonya owesifazane futhi kufinyelele lokho akufunayo. Njengoba ukumemeza kuyisikhali esinamandla kunazo zonke kwengqondo esingalinganiswa nokujeziswa ngokomzimba. Ukukhala okwesabisa kubangela ukuvinjelwa okuqinile ku-cortex yobuchopho, okwathi ngemva kwalokho ubuchopho abukwazi ukwenza umehluko oqondile. Futhi lokhu kusebenza kungenye yezici ezibaluleke kakhulu kusukela ekubukeni kwezinto eziphilayo.
Ezilwaneni, ukukhala kubonisa ukuphakama kwesilwane esisodwa kunomunye. Ngokwesibonelo, izingonyama ziqeda abaphikisana nabo ngezikhala ezinamandla. Futhi phakathi kwabantu lokhu kuyinto evamile. Lapho abantu bememeza - lokhu kuyisitatimende esifanayo phakathi kwezilwane. Uma bememeza besifazane, lokhu, ngokwezazi ze-psychologists, kuholela ekubhujisweni kwengqondo yabo. Kamuva, lo wesifazane ugijimela umngane wakhe omkhulu. Utshela konke ngokuningiliziwe, ethembeni lokuthola ukuqonda nokuthula. Kodwa umngane wakhe kufanele amsize ukuba aqonde isimo. Into eyinhloko akusho ukugubha imfiva nokuzithoba ukuthola izizathu zokumemeza umuntu owabangele. Kuleli qophelo, kubalulekile ukuthi wamsiza ukuba ahlale ethule futhi abe nobuhlobo nomyeni wakhe, ngoba lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu. Kusho ukuthini ukusungula? Ukuziqonda ngokwakho futhi uzibheke ngaphandle. Mhlawumbe owesifazane ngokwakhe kwezinye izimo aziphathe ngendlela engafanele futhi manje uvuna izithelo zezenzo zakhe namagama akhe? Bonke abesifazane besaba amadoda amemeza, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi bona ngokwabo abaphikisi ukukhamuluka, okwenzela abantu izenzo ezimbi esikhathini esizayo. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi bayakhamuluka ngokuphendula eminye yemibuzo yabesifazane abafuni ukuyiphendula. Ngakho, isibonelo, mayelana nanoma yikuphi ukulibazisa emsebenzini noma izingcingo ezisolisayo efonini yakhe ephathekayo. Lapho amadoda ekhamuluka kwabesifazane, bazama ukuzivikela futhi baphumele ngaphandle kwempendulo. Wonke umuntu usekude wazi ukuthi ukuzivikela okungcono kakhulu ukuhlaselwa, ngakho-ke bayisebenzisa ngendlela ethile ukuzivikela. Kuphela uma benza lokho, kusho ukuthi banenhlamba esibhamu, njengoba besho.
Yini okufanele uyenze esimeni lapho amadoda ememeza khona abakhethiweyo? Into esemqoka ngesikhathi esisodwa ayiphenduli ngokukhala kumathoni akhe aphakeme. Owesifazane kudingeka nje asondele kuye futhi abambe ngobumnene, futhi intukuthelo yakhe njengesandla iyosusa. Ziqonde wena futhi uqonde indoda, futhi uyumuntu ophilayo. Ukuphendula kwakhe kungaqondiswa kokuhle. Ngabe uzama ukukufinyelela ngokumemeza?