Noma kunjalo uSigmund Freud, ubaba we-psychoanalysis, wabhala ukuthi lapho ekhetha into yezocansi, amandla (libido) asuka ezintweni zokuqala zothando-abazali-kumlingani. Futhi ngenxa yalokho, indoda ifuna umngane obukeka njengonina, kanti intombazane ifuna ubaba. Le mbono iyathakazelisa, kepha 100% ayiqinisekisiwe. Phela, igama elithi "elifanayo" aliqondakali kakhulu. Yini ngempela okufanele umlingani abukeke ngayo kumama-mama nokuthi kungakanani? Ukuze unqume lokhu, kubalulekile ukuqhuba ucwaningo oluningi oluyinkimbinkimbi. Futhi abantu ngezinye izikhathi babheka futhi baqonde - lokhu kuyisikhathi. Ake sizame ukuthola ukuthi amantombazane afuna umkhwenyana, kanjani abakhethayo nokuthi angayigcina kanjani okhethiweyo? Ake sicabangele izindlela ezisemqoka zokuheha umlingani. Ukuze senze lokhu, siphendukela kubalingiswa abadumile bezinganekwane: amantombazane ayengenayo yonke imfanelo ngesikhathi esisodwa, kodwa noma kunjalo athola indandatho ethandekayo emunwe.
Imodeli yeCinderella.
Kulendzaba kuboniswa ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukuvusa intshisekelo yendoda futhi kungavumeli ukuthi isithakazelo ngokushesha sikwaneliseke. Le ndaba yezinganekwane isayensi kulabo besifazane abasha abasesemhlanganweni wokuqala sebekulungele, njengokungathi ku-anecdote, "ukutshela konke nokubonisa konke". Futhi lokhu akudingeki ngaso sonke isikhathi!
Umlingisi oyinhloko - i-Cinderella - iyimpofu, ihlukunyezwa ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba aphumele kulezi zimo ezimbi lapho ehlala khona.
U-Alina weza enhloko-dolobha edolobheni elincane lesifundazwe. Ubaba wayephuza, umndeni wawuhlala ubumpofu futhi uphazamiseka njalo. U-Alina waqonda ukuthi ithuba lokuguqula impilo yakhe kuphela lihlobene nomshado ophumelelayo. Wayengekho unkulunkulukazi wezingane, ngakho kwadingeka azame. U-Alina wafunda kahle esikoleni futhi wangena eyunivesithi ngenhloso yomnyango wamahhala. Kwafunda iminyaka emibili ngangiqiniseka ukuthi izingane ezifunda nabo azifanelekile. Bona ngokwabo badinga ukujola kwezezimali, futhi u-Alina wayesebenza kahle. Wahlala e-scholarship, wasebenza isikhathi esithile, wafunda ngokucophelela - futhi walinda. Ngemva kwesikhashana, wafuna indoda - uprofesa othandana naye ovela esikhungweni esiseduze, efuna isayensi. Wayesevele engaphezu kuka-30, ngokusobala akahle, kodwa u-Alina akazange ahlazeke. Wafunda ukuthi unayo "umbuso" wonke - ifulethi lamagumbi amathathu eMinsk. Ungaphuzi, ungabhemi, uyenze i-yoga - kunokuba hhayi isikhulu? Kodwa-ke, nxazonke "isikhulu" zihlala ziqhuma izisebenzi kanye nabanye abafundi. Khona-ke u-Alina wanquma ukuthuthukisa isu lokuheha. Wafunda okungenzeka kakhulu ngemikhuba yakhe kanye nokuzilibazisa (ibhola, ezombusazwe, umlando - cishe isethi esimisiwe). Kwakukhona ukuthi wayenamahloni, esaba amantombazane futhi njalo ebaleka esayensi. UClever U-Aline walolu lwazi kwakwanele ukuthuthukisa uhlelo lohlelo. Wathola ukuthi yiziphi izinsuku "isikhulu" esinezigaba, lapho edla isidlo sasemini, futhi ngesikhathi esifanele ehlezi etafuleni lakhe. Wayeseyedwa, okwenza umsebenzi ube lula. Kusukela kumbuzo ongenacala ka-Alina: "Ngicela ungiphendule, ungangitshele ukuthi izolo" uManchester "?" Baqhubeka bexoxa ngezombusazwe, bese-ke nokuphila. Emaminithi ambalwa ngaphambi kokuba "isikhulu" siphuze ijusi, u-Alina waxolisa futhi wahamba. Ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho embona, wamomotheka futhi wema. Wayemnandi, wakhuluma naye imizuzu embalwa futhi, ebhekisela emisebenzini yakhe, waphinde wabaleka. INkosana yaqala ukubonisa isithakazelo. Ngemva kwenyanga bahlangana kabili ngesonto, kodwa wayengazi lutho ngaye. Ngalezo zinsuku lapho enemihlangano, badla ndawonye. Futhi u-Alina ... wanyamalala inyanga. Wayenomkhuba, futhi wayema kancane kancane, ngakho wayefuna ukumbona. Kodwa ngangesaba ukuchitha yonke into. Ukubala kwakungalungile. Ngaphezu kwegama lakhe nenkambo yakhe, "isikhulu" sasingazi lutho. Futhi ... waqala ukufuna intombazane. Futhi wathola, nakuba engenazo izicathulo zakhe noma izinombolo zefoni yeselula. Khona-ke konke okwakungeyona into efana neyendabuko, kanti u-Alina kwadingeka asebenze kanzima ngaphambi kokuba "isikhulu" esinenkani, esinamahloni futhi esidala sinike isandla, inhliziyo nemvume yokuhlala embusweni wamagumbi amathathu, kodwa kakade ngonyaka wesihlanu wadlala indandatho eminwe yesandla sakhe sokunene.
Nakuba i-Cinderella ayilona isidalwa sokuzalwa, uyakwazi ukuvusa isithakazelo esijulile kumuntu wakhe. Omunye ovela "emanzini" angaphandle, othile-ekuhlakanipheni, othile-ukuthi iqiniso lizwakala futhi liyaqondwa. Umsebenzi kaCinderella ukuphuma esixukwini, ukuvuselela isithakazelo ngokuziphatha okungavamile noma ukubukeka, ukukhombisa ikhwalithi ehlukile yesikhulu futhi ubalekele. Ukuze isikhulu singavumi, uNkulunkulu akazange asole ukuthi uCinderella ubeka inetha. Konke kufanele kubheke ngokuphelele okungahleliwe. U-Cinderella kufanele avuke isisindo somshushisi somzingeli, futhi uma enza ngokuvumelana nemithetho, emva kwesikhathi isikhulu ngokwakhe siqala ukubheka okhethiweyo wakhe.
Isu Cinderella:
1) Sesha into oyifunayo.
2) Ukubonakaliswa kokuzikhethela kwakhe.
3) Injabulo yesithakazelo.
4) Ukungaphumeleli.
5) Imvume yokuzithola.
6) Umshado, (amaphuzu 4 no-5 angaphindwa izikhathi eziningana - into eyinhloko ukuthi umphumela omuhle awupheli).
Isibonelo "I-Frog Princess".
Umlando ufundisa kulawo maantombazane angenayo imikhuba ebonakalayo futhi ebonakalayo. Khumbula indaba: izingane ezincane ezondla uyise, futhi wanquma ukushada nabo. Futhi njengoba cishe bengakhathazeki ukuthi bashada bani (okungukuthi, ngokufanele, ngenxa yokungabi mthethweni!), Ubaba unikeza ngamunye wabo ukukhulula umcibisholo. Lapho athola khona-kukhona okhethiwe. Amadodana amadala athola umcibisholo egcekeni emantombazaneni afanelekayo, kanti omncane ... kungamahloni ukusho ... Awudingi ukuba ube psychoanalyst ukuqondanisa umcibisholo ngesithunzi somuntu. Futhi-ke kuba sobala ukuthi kusho ukuthini "hit umcibisholo": ngisho nangaphambi komshado, intombazane ibonisa amathuba akhe ohlelweni lwezocansi.
Nge-frog, sihlanganisa imicabango enjengokuthi "kubanda", "kubi", "akujabulisi." Ngakho-ke, ngaphandle kokuba nedatha yangaphandle ekhazimulayo noma, ngokuqondile, ngokungaqondile kabi, i-frog, noma kunjalo, ithola indlela efanele yokunqoba indodana encane.
Kodwa-ke, esikhathini sethu lokhu akwanele: inani lehlukaniso nokuhlukana kuyahluma, futhi intombazane-frog ayidingi nje ukubamba abalahlwayo, kodwa futhi ukuyigcina. Ngakho-ke, emva komshado (noma emva kokuqala kokuphila okuhlangene) amaxoxo asho amathalenta ahlukahlukene. Endabeni yezinganekwane, i-frog iyamangala ngezinga eliphakeme lokuthuthukiswa kwamakhono wesintu wendabuko: ikhono lokuthunga, ukulungiselela nokukhipha ukufaneleka kokubonakala kwalo. Sizoqaphela ukuthi emlandweni wezintambo i-frog ehlakaniphile yenza ukusekelwa komuntu obaluleke kakhulu ku-Ivan (umyeni wakhe) - uyise. Ngemuva kwalokho, lapho indawo yomphakathi ihlonipha umuntu okhethiweyo, iqinisa ukuqiniseka komuntu ngokuzikhethela, iqinisa ukuzethemba kwayo, isekele isithakazelo sayo. Indoda inamathele emgodini wakhe, ngoba nguye ozama kanzima kangaka. Futhi ngokuqhubekayo, lapho, ngokusho kwezinganekwane, i-frog yanyamalala, u-Ivan uzwa ngokushesha umehluko phakathi "kokuphila no ..." kanye "nokuphila ngaphandle ...".
U-Maxim noNastya bahlangana iminyaka eminingana. U-Maxim uyindoda enobuningi, enobugovu, enhle kakhulu-enhle ehlala efuna yena ngokwakhe. UNastya uyintombazane evamile, hhayi ubuhle. Unomuntu othandekayo, izinwele ezimangalisayo, kodwa uma kungenjalo ude kakhulu nemodeli. Ikakhulukazi uma iseduze ne-Maxim omuhle. U-Max, ngaphandle kokungabaza, ngezikhathi ezithile watshela uNastya ukuthi abengeyona umbhangqwana, ngoba wayeyindoda enhle kuphela, futhi uNastya-uma kungenjalo inhlanzi, ngokuqinisekile wayengalingani. U-Nastya wayebekezelela ngokubekezela konke lokhu. Wayemnakekela ngokwethembeka uMaxim, wampheka ukudla, walalela zonke izindaba zakhe futhi akazange akhathazeke ngokuthuka kwakhe ngokubonakala kwakhe. Kodwa okwenzekile kwakungalindelekile - uMax wayefuna ukudubula ngemicibisholo yakhe, futhi wathumela umcibisholo wakhe, futhi lo mcibisholo wahamba ... asho kanjalo - egcekeni lentombazana uDiana. Futhi uMaxim Nasta wazisa ukuthi wahlangana nentombazane enhle, futhi washintsha uNastya naye. Wema. Kodwa lapho ephakamisa kakhulu ukuthi bahlale ndawonye, uNastya washiya - ngokuthula nangesithunzi. Abazange bahlangane futhi abazange babuyele izinyanga ezintathu. Kwaphela isikhathi eside sagcina injabulo emfushane kaMaxim neDiana omuhle. Kwabe sekugcineni okungenakuqhathaniswa, okungenasisekelo, enenkani futhi okungenakuzithoba kunokuba uMaxim ngokwakhe. Ngemva kwenyanga waqala ukuqonda ukuthi ubuhle ebuhlotsheni - hhayi into ebaluleke kakhulu, futhi uma uDiana ephindana kaningi ephikisana naye - futhi ehlakaniphile. Uthi uDi Diana wayengumuntu oyisiphukuphuku - ngemuva kwalokho, wayelokhu ephawula, futhi waze wazisa ngokuqondile uMaxim wezenzo zakhe ezingezona zokuziphatha kanye nemali engenayo imiholo. Yiqiniso, wayengenakho ukuhlakanipha nokubekezela kukaNastinyh (akakaze amemezele uMaxim weqiniso elingakhethi, ukugcoba izingxenyana ebuhlotsheni), namakhono akhe okucubungula namakhono omnotho. Ngemva kokuhlambalaza komsindo, uMaxim waphula no-Diana futhi, ngokushesha nje lapho emshiya, wazama ukubuyela eNastya. Kodwa kwakukhona. UWise Nastya uthe akanakulungele ukuqhubeka nobuhlobo ngendlela edala engapheli. Ngaphezu kwalokho, wayenomuntu omdala futhi engakahle kakhulu (bheka indaba - umlingisi uKoschey, ungumncintiswano). Kodwa lo muntu ubheka uNastya ukuba omuhle, uyamthanda futhi usekulungele ukushada manje. Kuye, uzwa ukuthula nokuzethemba. Njengenganekwane, uMaxim kwadingeka alwe noNastya. Emva kwakho konke, kuyinto eyodwa - uma kungumuntu wakho "frog ebhokisini", omunye - lapho esinqunywe yiKoschey. Umncintiswano, lapho uMaxim ajoyina khona, wamnika umuzwa wokubaluleka nokubaluleka kwentombazane. Futhi bonke abangane, izihlobo, izihlobo, abazali, ukudubula iminwe yabo ethempelini mayelana nezenzo zikaMaxim, nabo benza isandla sabo.
Ngokuvamile, ngemva kokuqhubeka, kwaba nokuphela okujabulisayo. UMaxim wakwazi ukubuyela eNastia (yena-ke, akazange aphikise ngempela), uNastya - ukuphoqa ukuba ahloniphe. Ngomshado, uNastya wayemthande, njengabo bonke abashadikazi, eduze nomyeni wakhe omuhle kaNkulunkulu. Kukhona inhlanzi kuwe.
Ngakho-ke, ngenxa ye-frog, ukubukeka akuyona into ebaluleke kakhulu. Ithalenta lakhe lingelinye.
Isu se-Frog Princess:
1) Ukuhlaselwa okusheshayo entweni efanelekayo.
2) ukunqoba indawo yakhe eduze nalendoda.
3) Ukwakhiwa kokuthembela komuntu.
4) Ukunqoba isihawu semvelo yakhe ngokubonisa ukufaneleka kwakhe.
5) Ukungahleleki ekuphenduleni izenzo ezinonya noma ezithintekayo, kodwa ngemuva kwezinto ezintathu kuphela.
6) Ukuthakazeliswa komncintiswano kulabo abakhethiwe ngezinye izinto zangempela noma ezingokoqobo.
7) Imvume yokuzitholela njengomvuzo owamukelekile.
8) Umshado.
Isibonelo "Ukulala Ubuhle".
Indaba iyathakazelisa ikakhulukazi kulawo masantombazane, ukuthi noma ngabe yiziphi izizathu, "aphuthelwa" isikhathi segolide, lapho bonke ontanga bashadile, futhi manje sebefika ezinhliziyweni zabo futhi bafuna isikhulu.
Kusukela kule ndaba kuyaziwa ukuthi intombazane eyafika ekuvuthweni, yahlushwa nge-spindle (iphinda ibonakalise, uma ingaphumeleli). Ngemva kwalokho walala. Indoda eyimtholile yayingokwemvelo umhloli, ososayensi wemvelo, i-trailblazer. Kwadingeka ukuba aphule emathangeni amakhulu (kusobala ukuthi lokhu kuqondene), ukuthola indodakazi yenkosi, ukumanga nokumvusa. Kodwa ngokushesha nje lapho iphoyisa livuka, konke okuzungezile kuyasukuma ngokushesha. I-Prince-Liberator ngaphansi kwezingalo noma ezandleni zomhlophe - naku-wreath! Watshisiwe? Wonke umuntu wabona! Futhi ngubani okhona lapho ephoqa indodakazikazi eminyakeni eyikhulu edlule, ehlushwa, akekho okhumbulayo ngisho, akukhozinto ezide ziphele ... Kodwa wena ngokwakho ngechungechunge elishayekile-ke, njengendoda ehloniphekile, kufanele ngishade!
UMarina "wayelele" kwaze kwaba yilapho eneminyaka engu-27 ubudala. Okusho ukuthi, ngangilele ngesikhashana. Ngokuhamba phambili, wahamba. Ubuhlobo obunye buyizinyanga eziyisithupha, ezinye izinyanga ezimbili. Akusikho eyodwa i-Marinchku eyayihlwitha. Kodwa abazali bami bacabanga ukuthi indodakazi yami yayihloniphekile kakhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi uhlala nabangani bakhe, ngezinye izikhathi uyahamba ngebhizinisi. Futhi lapho ugogo ehamba endlini - futhi ngokuvamile izinkinga zanyamalala. Kodwa lapho uMarina ephaphama, kwenzeka ukuthi wayeseyedwa futhi akekho owayeshesha ukumshada. Konke kubonakala sengathi - ukuqeqeshwa, ukukhula komsebenzi, indlu. Omunye umfana omuhle - ngakho bonke babeshadile, kuyilapho uMarina ecabanga futhi ethinta. UMarina wabe eseqala ukuthuthukisa uhlelo. Ngemva kokuhlangana noStean, owesilisa osemusha nonamandla owayethembisayo, wayenesithakazelo kuye ngokuziphendulela kwakhe, ecashunwe ngobufazi. Futhi nokho-indaba yokuthi uyintombazane ehloniphekile futhi ulindele okhethiweyo wakhe. Kwaphela izinyanga ezimbalwa, uStean "wadabula ngecala." Ngemva kokuba ngithole umklomelo oyifisayo ngemuva koke ohov, ahov kanye nezinyembezi zikaMarina, ngaya naye ngosuku olulandelayo kumlobi. Kodwa ngandlela-thile ngangibaza ... Ukuthi konke kwakungcono, uMarinochka waqamba amanga - emva kwamasonto amathathu wathi bazoba abazali abajabulayo. Eqinisweni, ingane yayingaboni, kodwa uMarina nabazali bakhe badala isidingo esiyidingayo. Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa uStepan waba ngumyeni. Futhi emva kwesikhashana "kwakukhona ukuphuma kwesisu" ... Izingane azibonanga ngokushesha, kodwa umshado uzinzile. UMarina manje "wavusa" ngempela - kokubili njengowesifazane, futhi njengomfazi nonina. Kuyadabukisa ukuthi umshado uqale ngokukhohliswa, kodwa u-Stepan akazi ngalokhu ngenjabulo.
Isu lokulala sobuhle:
1) Isimo socansi esingaphumelelanga, "esiwuqeda", noma ukuphelelwa ukukhanga komlingani ngenxa yokungahlali ngokomzimba noma kwengqondo.
2) Ukuqaphela isidingo sokuthola umlingani womshado.
3) "Ukudubula" isidingo sakhe sokunqoba nokunqoba. 4) Ukuvumela umlingani ukuba "avuke" ngokwakhe (kiss noma "ukuphoqa nge-spindle" - konke kuyinto efanayo).
5) Ukunikeza isimo somkhwenyana womsindisi oyingqayizivele.
6) Ukudala izimo ezenza umshado "umkhululi" womshado ngokulala ubuhle.
7) Umshado.
Izintshumayelo ezintathu ezichazwe inganekwane zibonisa ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukuhlanganiswa okuguquguqukayo kwamasu namaqhinga ekusesha, ukukhethwa, ukukhanga nokugcinwa komkhwenyana. Ngemva kokudlula "izihlungi zenhlalo nezengqondo" ezihlukene, umlingani oshade naye ongase abe khona ubonisa ukufaneleka kwawo, noma uthola esitokisini semfucumfucu.
Ngakho-ke, yini ebalulekile ukukhumbula intombazane engakhetha umfana, kodwa indoda yakhe?
Okokuqala, yenza isinqumo esifanele kuqala. Lesi yingxenye enzima kunazo zonke, ngoba kudinga kokubili ukuziqonda nokuqhuba "ukuxilongwa okusheshayo" kwezimfanelo zomlingani.
Okwesibili, qaphela ukuthi noma yiluphi uhlelo luzodinga amandla namandla, lokho kuthathwa kuthatha indawo yokuwa. Ngezinye izikhathi inhlanzi igxuma i-hook eduze nogwini, kodwa akusona isizathu sokungabikho ukudoba.
Okwesithathu, hlaziya futhi uqonde ukuthi iyiphi inhlanganisela yezinto ezizosebenza kakhulu. Uma lo mlingani enesifiso sokududuza nokuthula, udinga ukukhombisa ikhono lakho lokuzidala. Uma kubalulekile ukuba abe ngumnqobi futhi alwe, makangene iqhaza emncintiswaneni, lapho ungumklomelo oyinhloko. Uma efuna
ube ngumsindisi - mnike ithuba lokukusindisa: kusuka emkhuhlane, ukugwinya endlini yokugezela, imvula ...
Amasu angashintsha-siyashintsha, futhi. Omunye uzibheka njengendwangu, futhi okhethiwe ubona iCinderella kuyo. Khona-ke udinga ukuphefumula futhi ukhumbule ukuthi, njengoba uShakespeare ebhala, "izwe lonke liyindawo yokudlala" ... Futhi udlale into ebaluleke kakhulu kumbukeli wakho oyinhloko.
I-PS Yonke i-vyshenapisannoe ayikhansela wonke intombazane nowesifazane besidingo sokuzikhandla futhi bazame sebenzisa kancane ukuxhaphaza empilweni yabo yomndeni. Vele uthande umuntu onzima kakhulu ukuthola nokuwina. Kodwa akadingi ukwazi ngakho. Ake ucabange ukuthi ukhethe wena futhi wanqoba. Ngoba ungumuntu, futhi kubalulekile kuye.