Omunye wabo uvame ukuhlala nabazali bakhe, cishe ngaphandle kokuzwa umehluko phakathi kwezinhlangothi ezimbili zokuphila kwakhe: ngaphambi nangemva komshado. Omunye, owafika emndenini omusha kuye, unenkinga enkulu yokukhathazeka, kanye nokukhathazeka kwengqondo.
Akuyona ingozi ephikisana nezimo ezinjalo ngokuvamile kuvame phakathi komalokazana nomkhwekazi, umkhwenyana nomkhwekazi. Kodwa-ke, akudingeki ukuba uhambe phambili, ake sizame ukubona ukuthi izinzuzo eziyinhloko kanye nezinsalela zokuhlala kanye nabazali yiziphi, yiziphi izimbangela ezithandwayo kakhulu zempi, ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ukuze uzidle, nokuthi ungahlala kanjani kanye abazali. Lesi sihloko ngeke sisebenzise kuphela labo abasanda kushada, kodwa futhi nabazali babo abafuna ukwenza ukuphila kwezingane zabo kube mnandi futhi kube lula ngangokunokwenzeka.
Izinzuzo eziyinhloko kanye nokungahleleki kokubambisana nabazali.
Kodwa-ke okungajwayelekile kungase kuzwakale, umkhuba uthi ezinye izici zokuphila nabazali zingaba yinto enhle futhi engalungile ekuthuthukiseni ubudlelwane bomuntu siqu. Manje ake sicabangele amaphuzu aphambili, kanye nezimpikiswano ezicatshangelwe ezithandwayo nakuzo.
- Ukuhlala nabazali babo, lo mbhangqwana osemusha noma uhlala ngokugcwele ekuvikelekeni kwabo ngokwezimali nezinto ezibonakalayo. Abazali bomunye womlingani, ngaphandle komkhuba, baqhubeka nokusekela indodakazi yabo (noma indodana). Abantu abasanda kushada akudingeki basebenzise imali ngokuqasha indlu ehlukile, behlobisa isimo, bethenga izinto ezisendlini. Lokhu kunikeza ithuba eliyingqayizivele lokuqoqa imali eningi yefulethini, iholide, nokunye ukuzijabulisa. Kodwa isimo esinjalo siyoholela ekuthembekeni kwangempela kwabambhangqwana abakhelwe nje, ukungabi nokuzikhethela kwabo ngokuphelele ezindaweni ezihlukahlukene zokuhlela isabelomali semindeni yabo.
- Ukuphila okuvamile kwemindeni emibili ehlukene kungase kuqinisekiswe ngokugcwele ukusizisana komunye nomunye kanye nokusizana ngokubambisana ngezimo eziningi ezinzima nezinkinga eziphikisanayo , ezihlanganisa imfundo yezingane, ukugcinwa kwezindlu, ukuxazulula izinkinga zasendlini. Yiqiniso, abantu abaningi ngeke banqabe ukwabelana ngezinkinga zabo nomuntu. Ukuzwela, ukubekezela, ukukhathazeka kwabanye abantu kuzoqinisa ubuhlobo bomndeni womabili. Kodwa-ke, akusize ukuthi inkulumo ejwayelekile "izindlu ezimbili ezihlukene ekhishini elilodwa ngeke lihlangane" akuyona ize. Umalokazana akanakuthanda nhlobo, njengoba umkhwekazi wakhe ebeletha ingane yakhe ethandekayo, uyisezala wakhe akanelisekile nge-TV evuselelwe ngumkhwenyana wakhe - futhi umuzwa wokuthi usizo lwababili alubonwanga!
- Abazali, njengoba asebekhulile nabantu abadala abanokuhlangenwe nakho bangasiza abashadile ukuthi basebenzise isiluleko esihlakaniphile nesisebenzayo, bakhuthaze ngokushesha futhi babathumelele ngempumelelo "esiteshini" esifanele. Kuhle kakhulu uma umbhangqwana osemusha udinga iseluleko esihle kubazali bawo futhi uma evezwa ngendlela enomusa futhi engekho nhlobo. Ukusabela okungafani ngokuphelele kungabangelwa ukuncoma, okwenziwe ngezwi elihlelekile. Kusukela esiningi iseluleko esaphenduka saba imiyalo engathandeki, nini, ukuthi yini nokuthi ungayenza kanjani, lo mbhangqwana osemusha ukhetha ukumane wenqabe, futhi cishe - ungabanaki futhi uwenze ngendlela yabo.
- Isibonelo esihle sobudlelwane bomzali obufudumele nangobuhle bungaba usizo futhi kuyadingeka kwabashadile abasha. Kuyacaca, kuphela uma abazali benomshado oqinile futhi othanda ukuthula, okusekelwe ekuhlonipheni kanye nokuqonda okubili. Ngaphandle kokuphela, abazali abaphikisanayo, umshado wabo uphazamisa emasontweni, bazokwazi ukubeka imibhalo engathandeki ebuhlotsheni obusanda kuvela emndenini omusha.
- Ukunakekelwa kwabazali nokunakekelwa. Abanye abazali asetshenziselwa ukunakekela ingane yabo ethandekayo baphishwa umkhuba ngaphansi kwephiko nomphefumulo wakhe womshado. Ukunakekelwa ngokweqile ekuqaleni kungajabulisa ngisho nabantwana abadala, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bayobacindezela. Ngaphezu kwalokho, indlela efanako izokuthuthukisa i-infantilism phakathi kwabashadile abasha, kanye nokungakwazi ukwenza izinqumo ezizimele kanye nokuntula okuphelele kwemibono yomuntu siqu.
- Ukukhulumisana okungahleliwe nabazali phakathi kwamaholide nangesikhathi sokuphumula kuzoletha ukwaneliseka okujabulisayo ngaphansi kwesimo sobunye bezintshisekelo, ukutholakala kwezihloko ezifanele futhi ezithakazelisayo zombili zombili. Ukungakwazi ukuqala ukukhulumisana, igebe lokukhulumisana lizokwenza izinkinga ezintsha ezengeziwe futhi ziqhubeke zikhulisa isimo.
Izizathu eziyinhloko zokuvela kwezingxabano.
Umbhangqwana osemusha uhlala nabazali bawo kunzima kakhulu, ngakho-ke kuzoba khona izingxabano ezihlukahlukene, okuzodingeka ziqunyiwe ndawonye. Izizathu zokwakheka kwezingxabano nabazali zingahluka kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, njengomthetho, babumbene ezimweni eziningi kuphela ngokuvela "komfokazi" noma ilungu elisha lomndeni endlini. Manje sizocabangela okuyinhloko yalezi zizathu, okushoyo, jikelele.
- Ukungazithandi ngokujulile , noma "Angizange ngifunde indoda enjalo ngendodakazi yami ethandekayo!" Ukuziphatha okubi noma okubi kumkhwenyana noma umalokazana okwakusungulwa ngaphambi komshado kungenye yezizathu eziyinhloko zokuvela kwezingxabano phakathi kwabazali nezingane. Kungachazwa yiziphi izisusa futhi kube nezinga elihlukile lokubonakaliswa: kusukela ekufihliwe kuya enzondo. Yiqiniso, umbhangqwana osemusha oshadile kuleli cala uzozizwa ukucindezelwa kwengqondo, ukucindezeleka okungokomzwelo okungokomzwelo. Thuthukisa ukuxhumana kulokhu kunzima, futhi ngezinye izikhathi akunakwenzeka.
- Izinkinga zasemakhaya , noma "Uzokhipha nini ekugcineni indlu yokugezela?" Kusobala ukuthi uma ilungu elisha lomndeni livuka, kuyoba khona ukunganaki ekuphileni kwansuku zonke. Kungenzeka ukuthi abazali bazodinga ukuzidela bese beyeka imikhuba ethile ngaphambili. Isibonelo esiphezulu kakhulu: umkhwezala ngeke asakwazi ukuthola ithuba lokuhlala ihora noma amabili endlini yangasese enephephandaba ngesandla, ngenxa yokuthi umkhwenyana manje uya emsebenzini, futhi naye, uyathandeka ukuvakashela indawo "ethandekayo". Kusobala ukuthi "ukuhlukunyezwa" okunjalo kunoma yikuphi okuyocasula amalungu omndeni, futhi lokhu kuyaqondakala.
- Umehluko obalulekile eminyakeni yobudala , noma "Lapha kuzophila kuze kube yiminyaka yami, khona-ke uzobona." Umbuzo ongapheli obaba nezingane, lapho abamele izizukulwane ezahlukene behluleka ukuthola ulimi oluvamile. Futhi ngisho nombono wengane yabo ethandekayo seyifunde ngandlela-thile ukuqonda, ukwamukela nokulalela, ilungu elisha lomndeni liyoba nzima kakhulu, ikakhulukazi ekuqaleni.
- Ukuziphendulela ekubukeni , noma "Kodwa umndeni wethu ngeke neze wenze kanjalo." Ngokuvamile, kuvele inkinga efanayo uma imindeni yabantu abasha inamasiko ahlukene namasiko, abameleli bezizwe ezahlukene, abalandeli bezinkolo ezahlukene, bancike ezintweni ezihlukahlukene zokuphila. Ngobusuku, akunakwenzeka ukukhulisa "ngaphandle" "ngokwakho", futhi ezimweni eziningi akunakwenzeka.
- Umehluko obonakalayo ekuchumeni kwemikhaya nempahla , noma "Kungani kufanele sikhokhele yonke into?" Indaba yeCinderella enomusa futhi ekhuthele ifanele kuphela indaba yezinganekwane. Uma isimo esinjalo senzeke empilweni yangempela, bonke abathintekayo bayoba nesikhathi esinzima kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, umndeni omusha uhlala nabazali abangcono kakhulu ngokwezezimali. Futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu okuvela ngokwemvelo kuphakama izikhalazo ezincane nokungaqiniseki ngokuthi kufanele banakekele izingane, bazisize njalo, futhi bazibeke ezinyaweni zabo.
Ungaphila kanjani ngokuthula nabazali bakho?
- Zama ukukhuluma okuningi komunye nomunye.
- Qala ingxoxo yezinkinga njengoba zivela.
- Zama ndawonye ukuthola indlela yokuphuma kulokhu noma leso simo.
- Hlonipha njalo futhi ucabangele imibono yomunye nomunye.
- Izingane ziphoqelekile ukuba zihloniphe okuhlangenwe nakho nokuhlakanipha kwabazali babo, futhi abazali babo, nabo, kufanele baqaphele ngokugcwele ukuthi abantu abasha bangakwazi ukwenza izinqumo eziningi ngokwabo.
- Zama ukushintsha ifomu lesikheli kuzihlobo zakho ezintsha: esikhundleni sokuthi "uninazala" - tshela unyoko, esikhundleni sokuthi "umalokazana" - kungcono ukutshela indodakazi yakho, njll.
- Ungalokothi uphakamise izwi lakho komunye nomunye.
- Zama ukuhlonipha ngokweqile, ukulalelisisa, ukukhathazeka ngezikhathi ezithile ngempilo nomoya womunye nomunye, njalo ujabulele ngokuphumelela empumelelweni futhi uzwela ngokuhlonipha ngokuhluleka.
- Ungakhohlwa ngezeluleko ezingenakuphikiswa nokusiza okuhlangene.
- Ungavumeli amandla angalungile aqoqe.
- Ukulinganisela kwakho, noma ukufisa okukhulu, ngoba - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyayithanda noma cha - manje unesihlobo.
Kungcono yini umbhangqwana osemusha ukuhlala nabazali bawo, noma usathola indawo ehlukile?
Noma kunjalo, yimuphi impendulo efanele kulo mbuzo? Yiqiniso, konke kuxhomeke ngokuphelele ekuziphatheni komuntu ngamunye emndenini ngamunye. Futhi uma, ngemva kokufunda ngokucophelela lesi sihloko, waqaphela ukuthi kuzoba nezimbangela ezinhle zokuhlala ndawonye nabazali bakho, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi ukuhlala nabo ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa kuyoba mnandi futhi kukhululekile kuwe. Kodwa-ke, iningi lezengqondo zengqondo zomndeni zithi kungcono ukufuna ukuphila okuzimele nokuzimele. Ngaphambi kwalokho umndeni osencane ongakaze ujabule ubhukuda ngokubhukuda mahhala futhi kulula, kuzoba lula esikhathini esizayo ukuthola umsebenzi kulokhu kuphila okunzima. Lokhu kuzokuqinisekisa induduzo yokuziphatha, ukuzethemba okukhulu, ukukhulisa kakhulu ukuzethemba. Yebo, futhi khumbula ukuthi abazali ngaso sonke isikhathi ngeke bakwazi ukukusiza, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngokuphambene nalokho, usufanele uzinakekele kakade.