Kodwa ungakugwema ukuphola nombhikisho ohlukile uma kungenxa yokwesaba ukukhohliswa. Okokuqala, kudingeke sikhumbule ukuthi ngisho nabaqambimanga abanamahloni bangakwazi ukunikeza izicathulo ezikhethekile. Lezi zinto ezincane ziphethwe emfanekisweni, ukuma kanye nokuzibonakalisa komuntu omusha. Kufanele ukuphawula okunye okungenhla, ukuze kunciphise amathuba okukhohlisa okungenani.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu, kuhlanganise nomqambimanga okhohlisayo, ufihla amanga abo, kaningi banikezwa "izimpawu zomzimba ezingalungile." Ngakho-ke, lapho ukhuluma, lapho umuntu osemusha ephendula "yebo", futhi ngenkathi engaqhumanga ikhanda ikhanda lakhe kusukela ohlangothini oluhlangothini, okuvame ukubonisa ukucasuka, lesi senzo singase sibe uphawu olungabonakali lokuthi akavumelani. Kodwa-ke, ngemva kokubona isenzo esinjalo, hhayi kubalulekile ukusheshisa ekujwayeleni omusha no-soslovami: "Umkhohlisi, ungumqambimanga, ungumqambimanga omubi!". Kubalulekile ukuthuthukisa umbuzo, okwakubonakala sengathi awuzange unikezwe impendulo yeqiniso, bese ubona umyalo we-interlocutor.
Omunye ovamile "ummanga-umqambimanga" - uma oxhumana naye ethinta isifuba sekhasi, ngokuvamile lokhu kusho ukusinda, ukuphucula amanye amaqiniso, okungukuthi, impendulo enikezwa insizwa, angayiphambukisa kancane kancane. Lokhu kuziphatha kubangelwa ukuthi iphuzu lempumpo liphela ukuphela kwezinzwa.
Ngezikhathi ezinjalo kuhlale kubalulekile ukungenzi sengathi i-interlocutor, ukuziphatha kwakhe, ukuma kwakheka nesimo sokubukeka "kuthunjwa". Ungemi "kumphenyi osemusha" futhi uphenye "ummangalelwa" wakho. Ukuziphatha okunjalo kungabuka futhi kuhlukanise le nsizwa futhi ngokuvamile iyoyeka noma iyiphi ingxoxo. Kungcono ukusekela ingxoxo ngesihluthulelo esimnandi, futhi ukhumbule lokhu okungahambisani, bazosiza ukwenza isiphetho sokugcina mayelana nomngane omusha.
Kodwa isibonelo, kungaba nesimo esinjalo lapho insizwa engxoxweni inika umakaki owodwa, kodwa zonke ezinye izinto zihlelekile. Ngingenzenjani kulokhu? Yiqiniso, kunezinye "izimpawu-amanga."
Phenduka ku-interlocutor. Uma insizwa ibuzwa umbuzo, futhi iphendukela ngaphambi kokuphendula noma izimpendulo zibheke intombazane, kungashiwo ukuthi impendulo yakhe ayikho iqiniso nokuthi umxhumanisi wayengakakulungeli ukuphendula umbuzo onjalo futhi wayethuka kancane. noma umdlula, ukususa ifoni ephaketheni lakhe, umqambimanga ohlakaniphileyo uzuze imizuzwana embalwa ukuphendula. Ngezinye izikhathi abantu baziphathe ngale ndlela, okuyinto enzima ukuqamba amanga.
Qaphela ukuhlelwa kwe-interlocutor, uma engxoxweni edinga ukuqamba amanga, cishe cishe uzokhetha ukuvala okuvaliwe, izandla noma imilenze kungadlula. Umuntu angaphinda aphikisele okuthile ezandleni zakhe, abanye bakwenze ngokuphazamiseka, kodwa hhayi kuphela abaqambimanga abaqanjiwe, bayalingisa lezi zenzo ngokulawulwa kwe-interlocutor yabo, nguwe.
Ngokuthakazelisayo, phakathi kwabantu abaningi ngezinye izikhathi bahlangana nalabo abazama ukwethula amanga unconstrained, njengomthetho, laba baqambimanga bayokwakhiwa, bona ngokwabo bakholelwa kakade amanga abo, kodwa ngisho nalaba bachwepheshe banikezwa ngamehlo noma bashintsha ububanzi bezingane.
Zonke lezi zimpawu zizosiza ukuqaphela umqambimanga ensizweni uma kunjalo, kodwa akufanele uhumushe la manothi ezingeni le-paranoia futhi kuzo zonke izimo zibheke amanga, ngoba ngezinye izikhathi ukuhlangana okungahleliwe empilweni yentombazane kungaba ukuqhubeka okujabulisayo kokuphila kwakhe okujabulisayo ezinjabulweni zomuntu othandekayo, owayengumfokazi ojwayelekile!