Namuhla ungathola ngaphansi kwengcindezi cindezela kungakhathaliseki indawo yokuhlala, iminyaka, umsebenzi. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, izinga lokukhathazeka liyakhula njalo, kodwa ukumelana nokucindezeleka, okungukuthi, ikhono lokumelana nokukhathazeka, kunciphisa. Kuphakeme kakhulu ukukhokha kwezibusiso zempucuko! Indlela yokufunda ukubhekana nokukhathazeka?
Umuntu uphazamisa
I-Homo turbidus iyinhlangano ekhethekile. Ikakhulukazi ihlala emadolobheni amakhulu (amakhulu angaphezu kuka-500 000), nakuba imva nje itholakala kunoma yiziphi izindawo zokuhlala. Ufundiswa, ukhetha umsebenzi wezingqondo kumzimba. Naphezu kokudla okuvamile kanye nezinsuku ezimbili ukuphuma ngeviki, kubonakala sengathi ukhathele futhi buhlungu, ngokuvamile kukhononda ngekhanda, ukuhamba kwemizwa nokulala okubi. Uhlala ecabanga ngento ethile, uhlele okuthile, akhathazeke ngento ethize - akunakwenzeka ukuba amthole esimweni esihle sokuthula. Indoda eyesabekayo yona iyayiqonda: into engalungile kuye - i-turbidus kakhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi, ephelile ngokuphelele, unquma ukuthumela yonke into futhi ishintshe ngokuphelele impilo yakhe. Uyathokozela ngesinqumo sakhe amahora ambalwa, bese ... eqala ukukhathazeka: "Yeka ukuthi kufanele sithumele konke kanjani kude?", "Futhi ngokuzumayo, kude, ngeke kube khona ukukhulumisana kwamaselula?" Kufanele udumale: kulula ukushintsha i-homo turbidus ngeke kwenzeke - yakhiwa isikhathi eside ngaphansi kwethonya lezici eziningi.
Yini esiyithola? Yini esilahlekelwayo?
City "anthill". Ukuphila edolobheni kuhle kwabaningi - indlela yokunethezeka yokuphila, imisebenzi ehlukahlukene yokuzilibazisa, abantu abaningi ababaziyo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, idolobha elikhulu liwumthombo wokukhathazeka. Izindlu eziphakeme, imibala engcolile, inqwaba yezimoto, umuzwa wokuthi "unesizungu esixukwini" - konke lokhu kuphazamisekile ezingeni elingenakuqonda. Futhi nabantu. Kuningi kakhulu kuwo edolobheni. Futhi othile uphula njalo umngcele wakhe wamasentimitha angu-50: sizizwa sikhululeke kuphela uma kulezi zimingcele, eduze kwethu akukho muntu noma osondelene kakhulu. Uma omunye umuntu evela ensimini yethu, siyaxwayiswa, sihlanganisa amandla okuvikela. Futhi kulokhu okukhathazayo futhi okuqaphileyo sihlala amahora amaningana ngosuku. Emgwaqweni, esitolo, ezokuthutha. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngamunye kulabo abangene emingceleni yethu uhlangabezana nemizwelo efanayo: ngemuva kwakho konke, siphule futhi indawo yakhe.
"Ugibe" lwenqubekela phambili kwezobuchwepheshe
"Ngiyabonga uNkulunkulu! Awukwazi ukuma ebhodini ngentaba yamapuleti," - sicabanga, uma uthenga i-daishisher. Ikakhulukazi kusukela umshini wokuwasha, i-vacuum cleaner, i-oven microwave isivele iyatholakala. "Ungakhathazeki!" - Ochwepheshe bezenhlalakahle baseJalimane baxwayisa ukuthi ufunde impilo yemindeni ephakathi kwamaminithi ambalwa nje, ngeke uhlanze izitsha, imidwebo ehlanzekile ngesandla, kodwa uzochitha isikhathi esiningi namandla ekusebenziseni abasizi bakho ukuthi isikhathi samahhala siyodlula. Futhi isipiliyoni - ngaphezulu. Le nqubo iyakwazi ukuzimela, ukuthi izinkinga ezizenzekelayo nazo zingabangela ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa yamanje. Umuntu oqhuba njalo imoto yakhe uzolahlekelwa usuku lonke, uma kungenjalo kungaqala ngokuzumayo ekuseni. Futhi kusukela ekucindezelekeni okutholakala ezokuthutha komphakathi, nasezindabeni zokukhathazeka: "Kwenzekeni kuye, othandekayo, kwenzekani? Futhi kuphi lapho kufanele uthole imali yokulungisa?"
Ukwaziswa "olwandle"
Kuyaziwa ukuthi, iziteshi zethelevishini ezengeziwe endaweni yokuhlala, ziphakeme ngamazinga olwazi jikelele kubantu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kunomkhawulo! Ochwepheshe beYunivesithi yaseCalifornia, eBerkeley ngenkathi kufundiswa Ngakanani Ulwazi? ("Ukwaziswa okungakanani?") Kulinganiswe ukuthi iminithi eyodwa yokubuka izindaba ezingathandeki yanele ukugcina isimo sokukhathazeka ngamahora angu-12 alandelayo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukwesaba okukhulu nokuheha ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukudala umphumela wokulenga: umuntu akakwazi ukuzulazula esikrinini, nakuba esaba nokwesaba. Enye into: isisebenzi ngasinye sehhovisi ngosuku siwela ku-700 KB kolwazi, ngamanye amazwi angu-700 KB wokucindezeleka! Amathuba okuziqhenya. Sisebenza okungaphezu kwabazali bethu, futhi sizama ukuthola nje umsebenzi, kodwa umsebenzi wokuphefumula, ozokudla nokunikeza ikusasa elinokuthula. Kodwa ukuzola ... akusebenzi! Ukuncintisana emakethe yezabasebenzi kuqhathaniswa ngqo nomphakathi: njalo ngonyaka abasebenzi abasha bavele kuwo - konke njengokuzama ukuzibonela, abanolwazi olujulile ngokwengeziwe. Ikakhulukazi abasengozini ngabantu abaneminyaka engama-35-45. Futhi amandla amaningi asevele anikeziwe, futhi kunzima ukuncintisana nentsha. Izifundo zokuqeqeshwa okuphambili, ukuphathwa komsebenzi ohlobene nazo zithandwa kule nkathi yobudala ngenxa yesifiso sokungenani ziqiniseke kancane. Kodwa ukuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo okuhambisana nokukhathazeka kusekhona lapho abafundi bebhekene nezinkinga zomnotho noma izinguquko ngaphakathi kwenhlangano efanayo.
Inkululeko yokuzikhethela
Umuntu wanamuhla akakhokhwanga lutho kunoma ubani. Singaphila njengoba uthanda futhi nanoma ubani. Kunezimiso ezimbalwa eziphathelene nokuphila, futhi azikho ngendlela evimbelayo ngokuqinile, kodwa nje iziphakamiso. Futhi kuhle uma umuntu ekhululekile - ngakho angazibonakalisa njengomuntu. Kodwa inkululeko ingumthombo omkhulu wokukhathazeka. Ngoba, njengoba wena ngokwakho ukhetha ukuthi wenzeni, wena ngokwakho uphendule ngakho. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukhetho oluhle lukhulu, ngakolunye uhlangothi akuyona indawo yokuhlala.
Ukwesaba isizungu
Lokhu kuyinkinga enkulukazi yesifazane. "Indoda ekhululekile, owesifazane oyedwa" - ekuthunjweni kwalezi zinkolelo, sisalokhu kuze kube yilolu suku. Abesifazane abaningi bayaqiniseka ukuthi uma uba ngumuntu wonke umuntu, ngeke abashiye. Kodwa yile ndlela "evela kuye", kanti indlela yomuntu kufanele ihambe kuye. Yiba mnandi kuwe - futhi ukwesaba isizungu kuyonyamalaka! 2.
Ukwesaba ukuguga
Nge-ritiphobia - ukwesaba imibimbi - yenza izinkampani eziningi zezimonyo. Eqinisweni, lokhu kusesaba ukwesaba okufanayo: sisetshenziselwa ukukholelwa ukuthi "okudala = akekho ofunayo." Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Ngokuvame ukuqhuba ukuhlolwa kwemiphumela yomuntu siqu empilweni yobusha nokulahlekelwa idumela, "- ngezinga elijwayelekile lokukhathazeka, igama lingaphambi kwesonto eliqinile.
Ukwesaba ukukhashelwa
Futhi akukho ukuqinisekiswa kokusola, kodwa kubonakala sengathi: othile unayo ... Cabanga ukuthi lo mlingani unexhumano ohlangothini, uhlehlile futhi manje ubala wena kuphela. Ukuphila akuphelanga lapho, akunjalo? Cabanga ngalokho, kanjani futhi nini okufanele ukwenze. Okumangalisa ukuthi, ukulahlekelwa 'kwesimo esibi kakhulu' kuyathulisa. 7. Ukwesaba ukulahlwa Okungaziwa kakhulu "Abantu bayothini?" impilo enobuthi ayiyona yezocansi ezifanele. Imvelaphi yayo - kulo wesifazane owenziwe umphakathi onendima "yokulalela", "intombazane enhle", eqala esemncane. Futhi ngisho nalapho esekhulile, kubalulekile ngathi ukuthola ukwamukelwa kwalabo abaseduze kwethu.
Ukwesaba kokugula
Abesifazane bangaphezu kwabesilisa abathintekayo kwi-hypochondria (ukwesaba kwempilo) kanye ne-iatrogenia (ukukhathazeka okubangelwa amazwi kadokotela). Isizathu siwukuzizwa kwethu, ukuzwelana, ukuthambekela kokucabanga. Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Njengomthetho, imizimba yethu inikeza izimpawu zokuxwayisa kusengaphambili - nje kudingeka ulalele, udwebe iziphetho futhi uvakashele udokotela.
Ukwesaba kokukhulelwa ... noma ukungabi nabantwana
Eqinisweni, kungukuthi ... ukungaqiniseki. Esikhathini sokuqala, ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani kungavimbela ukukhulelwa kokukhulelwa ekuxazululeni ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Futhi okwesibini, ukungabaza ngokuzala komuntu siqu kungabaza ngokubaluleka komuntu siqu wesifazane. Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Ukwandisa ukuzethemba!
Ukwesaba amagundane ... kanye nezicabucabu, amaxoxo, izikhukhula, ubumnyama, njll.
Eqinisweni, ngamacala angu-90% lokhu akukwesabi nhlobo, kodwa indlela yokulingana yokuphathwa kwebesifazane, eyenzelwe ukugcizelela ubuthakathaka bayo nokuzivikela nokuvusa i-knight nomvikeli kumuntu. Imvelaphi ye-10% esele yalezi phobias isaba ukwesaba izingane, futhi izazi ze-psychologists zihlanganyela kuzo.
Ukwesaba ikusasa
Ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi ngaphandle kwesizathu esihle sokukhathazeka ngekusasa kubonakala ngezingane ezincane ezingakakwazi ukulawula izimpilo zabo. Uma ukwesaba okunjalo kutholakala kumuntu omdala, kukhulunywa ngenye ingqondo ekhungethwe ukucindezeleka okukhulu, noma i-infantilism. Esikhathini sokuqala, kungcono ukubuyela kumchwepheshe, futhi okwesibili kuyadingeka ukuba ukhule!
Ukwesaba ukungasebenzi
Ukwesaba okunjalo "okusha", okubuyiswe ngokuphindaphindiwe kokwesaba kwezinzalamizi zokulahlekelwa isinkwa esinezinkwa. Ngokudabukisayo: abesifazane bangaphezu kwamadoda abesaba ukulahlekelwa imisebenzi yabo. Futhi lokhu kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abesifazane, njengoba izibalo zibonisa, thola entsha kalula. Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Phinda ufunde le nkulumo. Futhi thola phansi.
Ukwesaba izingane
Lokhu kwesaba kubangelwa isisulu somama, ngakho akudingeki ukuba ulwe. Ukukhathazeka kwabantwana, ukuvikelwa nokusekelwa kwabo yisimo esingokwemvelo kunawo wonke wesifazane. Akulungile uma kungekho nhlobo. Lokhu kwesaba kuyimbangela yokuthuthukiswa komphakathi. Uma, ngempela, ayitholi ubukhulu obukhulu, ukuvimbela wena nesizukulwane esikhulayo ukuba uphile.
Ungakuyeka kanjani ukukhathazeka?
Into engcono kakhulu ongayenza yaya emzaneni olahliwe futhi uhlala endlini ngaphandle kwenduduzo. Futhi kungaba kuhle uma izimpisi zihlala emahlathini aseduze. Lokhu akuyona ihlaya: uma umuntu engaphezu kwezinkinga ezicindezelayo, izizathu zangempela zokubhekana nazo, kancane kancane ukhathazeka "ngeze". Kodwa uma okukhethwa kukho okunjalo kungakuhambisani nawe, yenza okungenani ezinye izinguquko ezincane empilweni yakho.
Zizungeze ngemvelo
Ekhaya nasemsebenzini kufanele kube nemibala yemvelo eminingi. Imibala eluhlaza, i-beige, eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, ephuzi - futhi ayikho "i-acid"! Thola "ingadi" efasiteleni, okudingeka uzinakekele. Ukuhamba okuningi epaki - imvelo ivumelanisa isimo sangaphakathi. Spread lamakhethini bese ufaka izimbali kwi-sill iwindi. Isembatho (ngisho esobala) sinezela ama-alamu, njengoba, ngempela, namafasitela avulekile ngokugcwele. Izitshalo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, zakha umphumela wobumfihlo, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, zihamba emhlabeni zivulekile.
THOLA UMSEBENZI WOKUPHAKATHI
Kuyinto yokuzikhandla emsebenzini ayiyikuyithatha indawo (nakuba ibuye isebenziseke, ngoba noma yikuphi umsebenzi okwenzela ukukhiqizwa kwe-serotonin, futhi igxila ukukhathazeka). Isibonelo, hlamba ngesandla (kodwa ungaqali ukugeza okujwayelekile!). Isifundo sifaneleke ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane: amanzi yingxenye yowesifazane. Noma ukwenza izihlahla ezweni - ukuhlala emoyeni omusha kunomphumela wokutholisa owengeziwe.
Yidla isikhathi eside, ujabule
Futhi upheke kancane. I-Slimfud iyaziwa kakhulu, futhi abaningi bagubha umphumela wayo wokuthuthukisa impilo. Okungenani ngesonto, unike ukudla kahle: khetha iresiphi yangempela, uthenge imikhiqizo, uzilungiselele wena. Ukudla okunomsoco walezi izitsha kuphezulu kakhulu, futhi ukubaluleka kwengqondo kubaluleke nakakhulu: baletha umndeni ndawonye futhi banikeze umuzwa wokuzinza. Ayikho ikhekhe lokuthenga elingalinganiswa nokudla okuzenzela, ikakhulukazi uma wonke amalungu omndeni ehlanganyela ekulungiseleleni.
Thatha isibonelo kubafowethu abancane
Bheka ukuthi "imindeni" yezinja ihlala kanjani. Bahlale bethintana njalo, bhala, bhala. Yenza okufanayo. Ukuxhumana okungokomzimba kwenzeka nabantu abaseduze (abaqotho, abafudumele), okuvikelwa kakhulu yilowo nalowo uzizwa. Izazi zengqondo ziyazi ngisho ncamashi isibalo: 7 ukhonta usuku kokubili izingane kanye nabantu abadala. Noma kunjalo, ngeke kube nokudlula ngaphezulu.
Engeza ubulili!
Cha "Ngikhathazekile kakhulu ukuthi angikhathaleli." Ubulili ngenye yezidakamizwa ezivimbela phambili. I-Orgasm ivimbela ukuthuthukiswa kokucindezeleka nokuvela kwe-neurosis, ngoba kukhishwa kwemizwelo emibi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngesikhathi se-orgasm, i-oxytocin ikhishwa, i-hormone yokuphumula nokuthula.
Chofoza inkinobho yakho ye-alamu
Okusho ukuthi, ngokomzwelo kakhulu uphendule ekucindezelekeni: ukukhathazeka okungaphezulu, ukuzwela okungaphezulu. Ungazibali izinyembezi futhi ungathuli labo abafuna ukukhala - lokhu kuyisenzo esifanele. Xoxa ngomcimbi nabathandekayo bakho, uxoxe kabanzi mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, isimo, ukuchaza nokuthi wenzani ncamashi. Phinda ulandise indaba yakho 5. Usuvele encwadini yesithathu, ukukhathazeka kuyodlula.
Ukuphazamisa "izindaba ezimnyama" nezinsakazo
Cabanga nje kuyo yonke imibala ukuthi lezi zinhlelo zenziwa kanjani ngempela. Emva kwalokho, awufuni neze ukuba yingxenye yalomkhakha. Futhi uvala i-TV. Enye indlela: bheka ukuthi kwenzekani njengento yangokomlando. Ucabanga ukuthi isikhathi sethu siyisabeka kakhulu? Eqinisweni, kwakukhona kakade imibhikisho, izifo, izifo. Okukhathazayo manje manje kuyincenye yendaba. "Futhi kuyodlula," - la mazwi eNkosi uSolomon azokusiza ukuthi uthathe izinto ngokuhlakanipha futhi ungene kancane.