Kungani abashadile bexabana ngezidakamizwa

Sakha ubuhlobo bethu nabanye abantu ngesisekelo semiqondo ethile mayelana nobuntu babo. Ngakho-ke, sonke sifinyelela ngokwezinga elithile. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ube yingqondo yokusebenza kwengqondo emshadweni - kubantu abahlala emndenini iminyaka eminingi, baphila ngokuhlangene amashumi eminyaka, kufanele baxazulule izinkinga eziningi ezivamile. Kusuka emkhathini lapha kuxhomeke empilweni yomuntu wonke, impumelelo emsebenzini, nendlela izingane ezizokhula ngayo. Kodwa kungani ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ukuthola ulimi oluvamile nomuntu oseduze kakhulu? Kungani abashadile bengaxabana futhi abafuni ukuvumela omunye nomunye? Lokhu hhayi kuphela okuzoxoxwa ngakho.

Izazi zengqondo zigcizelela ukuthi izingxabano eziningi nemicabango emibi ephakama phakathi kwendoda nomfazi ngenxa yokuthi abafundile kahle. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kusungulwa ukuthi ukuhambisana kwengqondo kwabashadile kuncike, kokuqala, ngokuvumelana kwemibono yabo ngamalungelo kanye nemisebenzi yawo wonke umuntu embusweni womndeni. Kwesinye isifundo, imibhangqwana eyi-100 ehlukanisile kanye nemishado engu-100 yaxoxwa ngalesi sihloko. Sula ukungezwani kwembulwe. Abashadile abaye bakwazi ukugcina umshado babonisa iphesenti enkulu yokufana ekuqondeni izindima zomndeni uma kuqhathaniswa nalabo abahlakazekile. Ngakho isiphetho: ukuthi abantu abasha bayakwazi ukwakha imindeni eqinile, ehambisanayo, kufanele kuthathwe ukunakekelwa ukuqinisekisa ukuthi bathola imibono efanele mayelana nezindima zomphakathi zabantu abesilisa ohlukile, ukuhlukana kwengqondo phakathi kwabantu nabesifazane.

Kuyaziwa ukuthi abesifazane bazwela kakhulu, banomzwelo ngokwengeziwe, bakha isimo sengqondo esivela emndenini, basondelene kakhulu emndenini befuna ukuvikelwa kanye nobulungiswa. Ebudlelwaneni nezingane, iningi labesifazane banesimo "sokuxazulula". Abafazi, njengomthetho, yibo abaqalayo zonke izinguquko emndenini, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuphathelene nokuthenga okusha, ifenisha kabusha, ifoni yokuphumula, njll. Maye, yibo besifazane abavame ukuqala ukuhlukanisa ... Indoda eyayisesikhathini esidlule yayiyi-earner. Amadoda avinjelwe kakhulu emizweni futhi avaliwe kakhulu nabantu abafuywayo ngokwezinkinga zabo ezisemthethweni nezinye izinkinga. Ebudlelwaneni nabantwana, bavame ukuthatha isikhundla "sokuvinjelwa" (sokuvimbela) ngokumelene nomkakhe. Kuthambekele ekuphenduleni kwemibhikisho, ukuvimbela ukuphendula imibono emisha yomkayo. Lokhu kuvamile! Yizinto eziphikisanayo ezithandana, zombili zomshado kufanele zikwazi futhi zamukele. Nokho, kungenxa yale mibono ephikisanayo ukuthi abaningi abashadile baxabana ngezidakamizwa.

Indoda ithi: "Ngiyikhanda," nomkakhe: "Ngingumsizi." Noma ngabe ngifuna kuphi, kukhona ikhanda futhi ngiyajika. " Kulesi saga esidala incazelo ejulile yobuciko obukhona bokubambisana kwabantu abashadile iphetha, uma owesifazane ebona ubukhulu bendoda, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngobuhlakani, engaqondakali, ngaphandle kokuphazamisa indima yakhe emndenini, ngaphandle kokuhlambalaza isithunzi sakhe, uqondisa esixazululweni esifanele kanye nesisemqoka sezindaba zomndeni.

Ukulingana kwezomnotho kwamadoda nabesifazane kwabangela ukuguqulwa okubukhali kwezindima zabo zomphakathi emphakathini. Abesifazane baphumelela kahle ngebhizinisi elijulile, benza umsebenzi wezombangazwe, ekukhiqizeni, ukushayela izimoto, ukuphatha imisebenzi eyayibukwa njengabasilisa (ebuthweni, emaphoyiseni, njll). Amadoda asebenza ngokuphindaphindiwe njengabesifazane (emphakathini wethu) niche professional (ukuhweba, ukudla, izinsizakalo). Akukho lutho olubi lapha, ngaphandle kweyodwa into: imibono yendabuko mayelana nendima yokuhlukana phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane njengoba abashadile bedabula. Futhi lokhu, ngokubheka kwezazi ze-psychologists, namuhla kuba omunye wemikhombandlela ehamba phambili yokuphikisana nokungavumelani emindenini. Izethulo zishintshile, futhi izindima zihlala zifana: owesifazane ungumfazi, unina, umgcini wendawo yokulala, "generator" yesimo sengqondo, isimo sengqondo endlini. Indoda ingumngane womshado, isondlo, umvikeli, ubaba ... Owesifazane oyedwa waqaphela ngokucophelela incazelo yegama elithi "ushadile": "Ngifuna ukuba ngumyeni wami nje, ukuzizwa ngiphambi komhlane wakhe."

Izingxabano emindenini zivame ukuphakama ngoba abashadile abaziqondi, abamukeli iqiniso lokuthi ngamunye wabo ekuphileni kwansuku zonke kufanele afeze ezinye izindima ezibalulekile zomphakathi ezibalulekile kubo. Ngamunye wabo uyindodana / indodakazi yabazali asebekhulile, umfowenu / udadewabo, umshana wakhe / umshana womndeni, hhayi konke okungakujabulisa kuwe. Kubuye kube nemisebenzi ephelele, izisebenzi zomphakathi, kanye nezindima zomngane / umakhelwane, i-cadet yesikole sokushayela noma izifundo zezinye izilimi, umsebenzisi we-Inthanethi, umfelandawonye wezinhlangano ezimfashini, ukubambisana kwegaraji, ama-dominoes egcekeni, umzingeli wokudoba, njll. nokunye okunjalo. Emndenini oqinile, ovumelanayo, ngamunye unendawo yakhe eyinhloko, futhi inviolability yayo yamukelwa futhi ihlonishwa. Wonke umuntu, ngaphandle kwemithwalo yemfanelo yomndeni, unesabelo esivele senkululeko yokuphumula kwakhe othandekayo, ukuzithuthukisa. Kubi lapho omunye womshado noma bobabili beqiniseka ukuthi "enye ingxenye" ​​kufanele ibe umfanekiso wesibuko sabangane bokuqala, izinto zokuzilibazisa, ukuthandwa, ukungathandwa kungokujwayelekile. Yiyo kanye indlela ukuxabana okuvela ngayo phakathi kwalabo abashade nabo.

Isici esibalulekile sobudlelwane bomndeni, okumelwe sicatshangelwe ukuze kufezwe ukuhambisana kwengqondo, isifiso somuntu ngamunye womshado ukuqinisekisile. Ngamunye wethu ugcina izinga elijwayelekile lokuzihlonipha futhi okuvame ukungalungi ukuphendula imizamo yabantu ngabanye yokunciphisa. Eqinisweni, ubudlelwane bomuntu ubuhlobo bomsebenzi wokulinganisa njalo. Wonke umuntu angakhumbula ukuthi kumnandi kangakanani ukuqashelwa komphakathi kwempumelelo yethu yomsebenzi nokuthi kubuhlungu kanjani ngempela noma ukucatshangelwa okucatshangelwayo. Kodwa kaningi sikhohlwa ukuthi ubudlelwane be-intra-nomndeni bufuna ubulungiswa nokuhlakanipha.

Ukukhathazeka okubaluleke kunabo bonke ubuntu babo kanye nobunzima bomsebenzi wesikole bangabesifazane. "Nginikeza amandla amakhulu kangangokuba indlu yayinobuhle futhi inhle, futhi indoda yafika - futhi ayizange ibone." "Ngizama ukupheka ngendlela enhle kakhulu, futhi umndeni futhi" ngiyabonga "ngeke usho ..." Amadoda kudingeka futhi abe ngamehlo abo abanamandla kakhulu, abahlakaniphile, abanesibindi. Futhi kuthiwani ngokuphila kwansuku zonke? Asiboni izinto ezinhle, siyazibonga. Kodwa noma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka, iphutha ngeke liphuthelwe! Futhi yini ethakazelisayo: Omunye wabashadile angakwazi ukuhlala ehlaziyekile ekhulwini lakhe ngokuzithoba, kodwa ngokuzumayo "ngokuqhakazile" ukuphazamisa okuthile okuvela engqondweni ethile. Ngokuyinhloko, lokhu kwenzeka uma umcibisholo ongezinkanyezi uhlasela "iphuzu elibuhlungu". Mhlawumbe wathinteka kulolu hlobo lokunganeliseki okungathí sina naye, lapho umuntu esaba khona ukugibela, ngokuzethemba ngokuzivikela ekuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo, ukuzisola, isidingo sokwenza okuthile okukodwa. Ngokuvamile, kuphawulwe ukuthi abantu abaningi baphendula ngokuthula ngokugxeka ngokungalungile. Lapho ukubona okubuhlungu kulungile. Futhi oshade naye oqaphele, ozwelayo uzoziqaphela ngokushesha bese ezama ukugwema ukuhamba "kwi-callus yokugula", futhi uma izimo ziphoqeleka, zizokwenza ngokuhlakanipha futhi zingenabuhlungu, njengodokotela onolwazi.

Kuyiqiniso ukuthi umfazi ohlakaniphile uyazi umyeni wakhe kangcono kunokuba azi yena ngokwakhe. Lokhu kungabhekiselwa kumuntu ozwelayo, ohlakaniphile, onakekelayo. Uma abashadile bengalweli ukwazana ngokujulile, behlala ndawonye iminyaka eminingi, ukunganeliseki ngokuhlanganyela kancane kancane kuqoqa, imizwa yokupholisa - akuyona kude nokuhlukunyezwa nokuhlukana. Ngokuvamile uyazibuza: "Yini ayitholile kulo wesifazane? Umkakhe uhle kakhulu." Futhi wathola okuthile alahlekelwe emndenini.

Umbuzo uphakama: yini, ngaso sonke isikhathi, sijabulisane futhi "niphakamisa ubuso"? Umbuzo ubaluleke kakhulu. Kudingeka sihlolisane ngokufanele. Dumisani ngobuqotho. Ukugxeka icala, okungukuthi, ngaphandle kokunikeza ukuhlolwa okujwayelekile kanye nezici kumuntu, nangokuhlola izenzo zakhe ezithile, izenzo, amagama abangela ukungavumelani kuwe, ukunganeliseki. Ngeshwa, ngokuvamile kuvame kakhulu. Umkakhe wayenaso isikhathi sokubeka umyeni wakhe etafuleni, njengoba umyeni wakhe esheshayo ukummangalela: "Uzwela onobudlova, ugobe! .." Khona-ke uyayiphendula ngokuthi: "Muzhlan, uhlambalazi, umlutha!" "Ngokufanayo" ukukhiqiza, "nakuba ngezinye izikhathi kuvumelana neqiniso , zihlale zibhekwa njengomthuka kumuntu. Lokhu ukugxeka okungazuzi, akukhuthazi umuntu ukuba abe ngcono. Kungenzeka ukuthi kuzobangela ukuphikisana okungekho emthethweni - ukusabela okufuthekayo kokumangazayo (bese ungadlulisi isikhalazo esikhulu) noma amaqhinga okuzivikela (izinyembezi, i-validol, ukuthula okwesikhashana okwesikhashana - izinketho azipheli).

Abashadile abakwazi ukungazinaki iqiniso lokuthi bangaba nezimo ezahlukene. Wonke umuntu uyazi ngalokhu: kukhona ama-choleric, i-sanguine, i-phlegmatic, i-melancholic. Futhi nakuba izimo "ezihlanzekile" zingatholakali, ngokuvamile umuntu unezici ezinhlobonhlobo, kodwa izakhiwo zentando yesisekelo zikhona. Isimo ngezindlela eziningi sichaza izici zokuxhumana kwabantu nabantu abakuzungezile. Isibonelo, abantu be-sanguine bahlangana kalula, baxhumane nabo, benza kalula abantu abajwayele ukuxhumana nabo, nabantu abathandanayo, ngokuphambene nalokho, basebenzise oxhumana nabo kancane kancane, bakhethe imvelo yabangane abadala nabajwayele. Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuthi ngaphezu kwemvelo, kunezici zobuntu. Umuntu omuhle noma omubi, onomoya omnene noma onesihluku angase abe nanoma yisiphi isimo sengqondo. Nakuba abantu abanezimpawu ezahlukene, lezi zici zizozibonakalisa ngezindlela ezahlukene.

Ukucabanga ngokuhambisana kwengqondo emndenini, ungakhohlwa ngomqondo onjengothando. Abantu abancane bayokuthi: "Yebo, lokhu kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu emndenini wenjabulo!" Umuntu omdala kakade wayazi ukuthi lo mzwa omuhle awunokwethenjelwa ngokuphelele. Uthando lukhuphuka futhi luyehla, ngenkathi luba nzima kakhulu. Ukushisa okushisayo kunika indlela efudumele, enomusa, enokucophelela, enokukhathalela, enomunye nomunye umuntu ongavumeli ukushada nokuxabana. Noma ... Lezi "noma" ezihlukahlukene kakhulu. Kodwa namanje ngothando. Izazi zengqondo ziqaphela ukuthi uma abashadile behlala othandweni, banokuvumelana okuhambisana nokusebenza kwengqondo, abangesabi nanoma yiziphi iziphambeko zomunye nomunye - lokhu kuyinto ephawulekayo, ehlonishwa ngokuhlakanipha kwabantu: "uthando luyimpumputhe." Ngakho-ke, ngokuqondene nabantu abasha abashadile, ngokuvamile bathi: "Ithiphu oyithandayo!" Kodwa okokuqala iseluleko!