Omunye wemibono eyinhloko ye-psychology yengqondo yomuntu ngamunye (okubhekene nokucwaninga ngomphumela wokukhulelwa empilweni yengane) ukuthi impilo yokuziphatha nengane yomntwana ongakazalwa ixhomeke ekutheni ingane ikhulelwe kanjani (ngothando nokuvumelana noma ngemva kokuphikisana njalo). "Kuhleliwe" kanti izingane ezikhanga zigula kakhulu, zihamba phambili ekuphileni futhi zivame ukwakha imindeni eqinile ... Kuthiwani uma umyeni engafuni ingane nokuthi angaphila kanjani?
Okwesithathu akuyona into engafanele
Ngokuvamile amadoda avuthiwe ukubeletha kunomkabo. Umsebenzi wakho ukuqonda ukuthi yini ngempela edideka umyeni. Imisho efana ne-"Ake sizenzele thina", "Okokuqala udinga ukwenza imali, ukuhamba" - akukho okungaphezu kwezizathu. Ingabe udinga ukuqonda ukuthi yini ngempela owesilisa wakho owesabayo? Isibopho? Noma mhlawumbe kungokwesekuseni nokungafuni ukukhula? Nakuba ngokuvamile kuvame ukuba yingqondo yokwesaba ushintsho, ngakho-ke kufanele ukhombise umyeni wakho ukuthi konke akuyona into embi kakhulu njengoba kungase kubonakale (ngokubeletha kwengane ubuhlobo bakho buzohamba esiteji esisha - uzosondela, ngaphandle kwalokho, akekho okhansele ukuzijabulisa nokuhamba , futhi ingane ayiyona isithiyo kulokhu).
Izizathu zomyeni wakhe
Ukumangalela "Ungumuntu ongokoqobo," "Awuthandi," "Ngubani ozosinika ingilazi yamanzi ekuguga kwakhe?" Ngeke kusebenze futhi kuyomcasula lo muntu kuphela. Lapho uxoxa ngesihloko senzalo nomyeni wakho, zama ukwenza ama-accents amabili abaluleke kakhulu. Okokuqala, qiniseka ukuthi ugcizelela ukuthi awufuni ingane engabonakali, okungukuthi umntwana wakho ovamile, uthi ngaphambi (ngaphambi kokuhlangana nomlingani wakho) awunalo isifiso esinzima sokuba umama. Lokhu kufanele kumkhohlise. Futhi okwesibili, khumbuza ukuthi isikhathi sisebenza ngokumelene nawe. Uma owesifazane oneminyaka engaphansi kweminyaka engama-28 anemigqa emibili noma emithathu evuvukalayo (ayikwazi ukukhulelwa), bese eneminyaka engu-32-33 ineminyaka emine noma emihlanu ubudala. Ikhwalithi yesilisa emadodeni ayithuthuki ngaphezu kweminyaka. Izibalo ezinjalo kufanele zenze umyeni wakho acabange. Ngokuqondene nezindaba zezezimali, ke-ke, uma ungenayo imali, ingxaki yezindlu ayixazululwa, nonke ningasebenzi, futhi awunayo ukwesekwa okungokwenyama (isibonelo, kubazali), kungenzeka ukuthi ukuzalwa kwezingane kuzodingeka kuhlehliswe kancane. Izinkomba zokuphawula: "Ake sizame ukuthi singazizivikeli: akuyona iqiniso lokuthi sizoyithola okokuqala", "Ngifuna ingane kuwe, futhi ukungabaza kwakho kuyangicasula", "Okhulile siba, kunzima kakhulu ukuba sikhulelwe ingane futhi, okubaluleke nakakhulu, ukumbeka ngezinyawo! "
Kubiza malini ukuba nomntwana?
Ukwenza ukukhulelwa - noma ngabe uvakashela ukubonisana komuntu wesifazane, kuzodingeka uchithe okungenani ukuhlolwa okukhokhelwayo (kusukela ku-rubriki angu-3000). Inkontileka yokwenza ukukhulelwa emtholampilo okhokhelwe ingadla kusuka ku-10 000 ukuya ku-50 000 ruble (kuye ngokuthi isifunda saseRussia Federation). Ukubeletha - kungaba njengenkululeko (namanje ama-ruble angu-1500 kuzodingeka anikeze abahlengikazi nabahlengikazi), futhi akhokhe (intengo yesivumelwano - kusuka kuma-ruble angu-15 000 kuya ku-500 000). Ngokuvumelana nodokotela, ungazala ama-ruble angu-1500-9000 (intengo ixhomeke kwiziqu zikadokotela, ubuhlobo bakho naye kanye nendawo ohlala kuyo). Ngendlela, abanye besifazane (cishe ama-5%) bagweme ngamabomu ukukhulelwa ngenxa yokwesaba ukungabi nambi noma ukuhluleka ukubhekana nendima yomama. Lokhu, njengomthetho, kuhlotshaniswa nokuhlukunyezwa kwengane, ukuphazamiseka ngokwalo !! umama nokulahlwa kwakhe okungaqondakali. Amacala anjalo kakade adinga iseluleko somqondo wengqondo.
Izizathu zomyeni wakhe
Uma konke kusendaweni yakho, kuphela emaqinisweni wangempela (usemncane kakhulu, usufundela, unenkinga enkulu kakhulu ngemali, futhi kudingeka ixazululwe ngaphambi kokuzalwa komntwana), kufanele uzise umyeni wokuqonda kwezenzo zakho. Ingxabano eyinhloko kumele ukuthi "kuyoba ngcono kangcono kwengane". Ngokuqondene nezihlobo nokucindezela kwabo, khona-ke lapha kufanele nakanjani uthuthukise isikhundla sakho: uphila impilo yakho, ngakho-ke akudingeki ukuba wenze uhlelo lomuntu.
Into eyinhloko ukukhonta hhayi imizwelo ("Ngiyathanda", "kuhle, sicela," "cabanga ukuthi kuyoba kuhle kangakanani"), kodwa ezifisweni zangempela zomyeni wakho. Mbuze ngokuqondile: "Awufuni yini ukuba nezingane eziningi? Ngokujwayelekile? Kusoze? Ngakho, angisoze ngakwazi ukuphinde ngibelethe? Ufuna ukuthatha lo mthwalo wemfanelo? Ingabe amadodana ethu (noma amadodakazi) akanayo abafowabo noma odadewabo? "Uma umyeni wakho ethi akafuni ingane yesibili, ngokuyisisekelo, kodwa manje noma esikhathini esizayo esiseduze, umsebenzi wakho ukuthola ukuthi yini ngempela ehlazisa futhi uxoxe ngezinketho ezingenzeka ukuxazulula izinkinga (qala ukugcina imali noma ukuqasha indawo yokuhlala kancane, noma endaweni ekude). Izinkomba zokuphawula: "Umahluko omkhulu phakathi kwezingane, kulula kakhulu kubo nakithi", "Unethalenta lokuba ngubaba, kuyisihawu uma uyisebenzisa kuphela kwanezinyane elilodwa." Yini okufanele ubuke kule sihloko? "Ngolunye usuku eminyakeni engamashumi amabili kamuva."
Kakhulu kakhulu silinde ingane
Isikhathi sokuhlela singabuye sibe ukucindezeleka okukhulu kulo mbhangqwana. Ngokwezibalo, abangaphezu kuka-60% wabalingani bomshado bavele kuphela ekupheleni konyaka wokuqala wokuphila komndeni (uma nje unyaka wonke lo mbhangqwana awuzange usebenzise izisu zokubeletha). Futhi kuthiwani uma ngemuva kocwaningo uzothola izinkinga? Indlela yokuziphatha uma isizathu singekho kuwe, kodwa kumlingani wakho? Isifiso sokuba nomntwana singaba yisisusa somfazi. Noma kunjalo, lena yindlela yokuya endaweni. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi awufuni nje umntwana kuphela, kodwa ingane-co-kusuka kulo muntu othize. Ukuhlonipha kanye nothando kungasebenzisa izimangaliso. Imibhangqwana eminingi, njengoba idlule ukwelashwa kwabantwana abangenalutho, yaqala ukusondelana. Khumbula lokhu futhi ungazivumeli ukusola umlingani noma wena. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukukhulelwa akufanele kube yi-idefix kuwe, ngaphandle kwalokho umphumela ohlukile ungasebenza. Okubizwa ngokuthi ukungabi namqondo kwengqondo kwenzeka lapho owesifazane eboshelwe nesifiso sakhe sokuba ngumama. Kulesi simo, kufanele uziphoqe ukuba uphumule, ushintshe futhi uqale ekugcineni ungahlezi (ukubala izinsuku ezihle), futhi wenze uthando.