Ukungaboni kahle kwezingane ezindala ekuzimele kubazali

Lapho sisebancane, sasiphupha ukuthi "okhokho" babezoyeka ukugibela ezindabeni zethu. Futhi manje sesikhulile futhi siyaphazamiseka empilweni yabazali bethu. Kungani sishintshe indima? Futhi ungakuyeka kanjani ukuba uncike ngokwezengqondo kubazali bakho ukuze uqale ukuphila kwakho, futhi uvumele abazali bakho bahlale bodwa? Kancane kancane kodwa ngokuqinisekile
Ngokuvamile, ukuphazanyiswa ebusweni babazali kubonakala ukuthi siyalahla ekhaya. Ngaphandle kokungqubuzana njalo kungachazwa ukunganaki kwengane esekhulile.

Ngezinye izikhathi, abazali bathi ngokuqondile: "Usukhulile kakade," kodwa ngokungazi lutho usakaza olunye ukufakwa, ngqo ngokuphambene nokuqala: "Ungakhuli." Ngokuvamile, ukuphikisana okunjalo kubonakala emindenini lapho imodeli yokuthuthukiswa ehlukumezayo ilokhu iguqukile, okungukuthi, ayivumeli izingane ukuba zikhule, zihlukane ngokomqondo nangokwenyama kubazali bazo. Isibonelo, hhayi esikhathini esidlule, ngesikhathi sobukhosi baseSoviet, kwakulungile: emva kwakho konke, kuphela ukuma ehlombe nehlombe, kulula ukuhlala nokubhekana nokukhathazeka. Namuhla umhlaba ushintshile, kunamathuba amaningi ukuthi izingane ziphile ngokuhlukile, kodwa izinqubo zengqondo ziyashintsha kancane kakhulu. Yingakho abaningi beqhubeka nokuphumula ekuziphatheni kwabazali babo, futhi abazali - bevela ezifisweni ezinhle, bephikisana nabo, bagcine izingane zisondelene nabo.

Uma usafuna ukushiya abazali bakho, kubalulekile ukubona lezi zimpawu kumama nobaba. Ukuze wenze lokhu, kwanele ukuba uqaphele imizwa yakho. Njengomthetho, bangela ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi: siyavuma ngokuvumelana nabazali, sicabanga-yebo, konke kuyiqiniso, kodwa emphefumulweni kukhona ukudideka, ukungabaza nokukhathazeka. Njengoba uqonde ukuthi kwenzekani, ungaba ngobumnene, kancane kancane uqale abazali bakho esithombeni esisha sakho. Bonga ukubonga ngakho konke abakwenzayo futhi bachaze ukuthi bakulungele ukwenza ngokuzimela. Futhi ukuze abazali bakholwe la mazwi, kuyadingeka ukuwabuyisela emuva ngezenzo, ukuthwala umthwalo wemiphumela. Isibonelo, ukubanika uhlelo, ngokusho ukuthi uzotholaphi ekuphileni, ukubala inani lesikhathi esizokwenza kulokhu, futhi ukhombise iphuzu lomphumela. Lokhu ngeke kwenzeke ngokushesha, ikakhulukazi kulabo abazali abaye bawasebenzisa isikhathi eside. Izingane ezinjalo, ngisho nabantu abadala, zesaba ukwenza ngokuzimela ngenxa yokwesaba okukhulu ukwehluleka. Phela, abanaso isipiliyoni sokuhluleka "okukodwa", ngakho-ke baqhubeka befaka abazali ekuphileni kwabo abadala. Kodwa impumelelo yokuqala yokuzimela izosiza uzizwe ukuthi ungumuntu omdala kanjani. Futhi lokhu akukwenqabeli ukuthi kungenzeka ukucela iseluleko esimweni esinzima.

Kubalulekile ukubuka izici ezimnandi esifundazweni sase-Adult, ukuze ujabule kukho konke ukunqoba okuncane.

Uthando-uthenge
Ukuzibandakanya ngenkuthalo kubumfihlo babazali, akudingekile ukwabelana nabo isikhala esisodwa. Ungakwenza lokhu kusuka kwenye indawo, idolobha noma ngisho nezwe.

Isibonelo esivela ekuphileni
Indodakazi eneminyaka engu-30 ubudala eyakhulile iye yahlala endlini yakhe isikhathi eside, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ucabanga ukuthi yena nonina baye bashintsha indima: indodakazi yethengile indlu, ibuye igibele izindleko zayo, futhi indodakazi yakhe icasula kabi ukuthi unina akalalelanga umbono wakhe. Ngokwesibonelo, ngomyeni wakhe womuntu, obonakala indodakazi yakhe ayithembekile ngokuphelele futhi engafaneleki kumama womuntu.

Isimo esifanayo singavela uma umama engakunaki indodakazi yakhe enganeni. Ingane enjalo ingase ibonakale ilahlekelwe ukuziphatha okubi. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi konke ukuphila kwakhe okuqhubekayo kuyoba yingqungquthela yokufuna uthando nokuvunywa. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala sengathi ungathola le mizwa oyifunayo ngosizo lensiza yamandla enamandla engatholakali ebuntwaneni bakho - imali. Kodwa-ke, ezimweni eziningi umama uzolahla ngokujulile lesi sikhundla: "Amaqanda awafundiswa inkukhu, noma ngabe inemfundo emibili ephakeme ne-Ph.D." Kungenzeka ukuthi ukungakwazi ukunikeza uthando nokwamukelwa kungenye yezici zomzali. Futhi umzamo wokuthenga uthando uholela ekupheleni kokufa. Ungadabuka isikhathi eside ngalokho ongakwazi ukukuthola, kodwa ungavuma ukuthi isimo asikwazi ukuguqulwa. Lokhu kuyabuhlungu kakhulu, kodwa kusukela kulo mzuzu ukuthi ubuhlobo beqiniso nomama bangakwazi ukuqala. Phela, umuntu omdala uyakwazi ukuzondla, abe yisekelo, futhi ukufuna lokhu kusuka kunina kuyisibonakaliso sokungabi namntwana, ukungahlali ngaphakathi.

Ukuze uzuze ukuvuthwa kwangaphakathi, kubalulekile ukuthi ufunde ukuba nomama wakho ngezinyawo ezilinganayo: ukubuza, hhayi ukufuna. Thola, ungalindeli. Buza ukuthi uyayidinga ngempela yini okwenzayo. Okokugcina, ukukubona njengoba kunjalo, hhayi njengoba singathanda ukukubona. Yiqiniso, ngeke kube lula ukukwenza, futhi lo mchwepheshe uzodinga usizo. Phela, uma umama wakho engakwazi ukunikeza okufunayo, futhi uze uzithole ukusekela nokwamukela, ungathola ezinye ubudlelwane lapho lokhu kuzokwenzeka khona.

Umngane wangempela
Kuyenzeka, nomama nobaba bangobungane obufudumele, ukuthi kuhle ukushiya wonke umuntu futhi ungafuni.

Isibonelo esivela ekuphileni
Abazali bangabantu abangafani kakhulu nendodakazi yabo eneminyaka engu-26 ubudala. Bangabangane bakhe, abacebisi, kuphela ongabethemba. Ngakho kwakusukela ekubuntwaneni. Uba buhlungu kakhulu uma engaboni izinsuku ezingaphezu kwezintathu, ngoba akekho omunye umngane onentombi ...

Kodwa-ke, lesi simo asikwazi ukubizwa ngokuthi singavamile. Yiqiniso, kuhle uma ubudlelwane obuseduze bukhona phakathi kwabantwana abadala nabazali. Kodwa kuyingozi kakhulu uma umama nobaba asebekhulile kuyilapho kuphela ukusekelwa okunjalo kwengane esekhulile. Phela, intuthuko yemvelo ikholelwa ukuthi unyaka wonke umjikelezo wobudlelwane noxhumana nabo uyaba njalo, umhlaba wezenhlalakahle ukhula. Kungenzeka ukuthi umbono wabazali "Ungangethemba ngaso sonke isikhathi" uye waba yinqaba kancane kancane "Ungathembi muntu." Ngokwezinye izikhathi abazali bangakhululekile kusuka enkulumweni enjalo yokunganaki nokubambisana, kodwa kunzima ukuba bavumeleke ukuhamba ngezinyawo "komuntu osondelene" komunye umuntu.

Lapho abazali banikezwa isimo somuntu oweduze kuphela, abanye abantu bamane nje abanalo ithuba lokuhlala esiseduze. Phela, uma kuqhathaniswa nezihlobo, abanye balahlekelwa. Kuyinto yemvelo ukuthi kuyoba nzima ukuthatha lezi zinyathelo. Phela, umbuzo awukona ukwandisa umbuthano wokuxhumana, kodwa ukufunda ukuthembela abantu abasha. Futhi ungakwenza lokhu kuphela ekusebenzeni, ngokusebenzisa isipiliyoni.

Kulokhu, ukuqonda kuzosiza: umngane wami uphonsa ikati emgwaqweni, ngingamethemba yini umuntu onjalo? Futhi lapho etshela izimfihlo zami kwabanye, akunjalo? Phela, ukwethemba kuxhumene namagugu ethu, ngakho kubalulekile ukuqala ukuwaqonda.

Yiqiniso, ukuphila kuzoba nzima nakakhulu kunamaphepha. Kodwa empeleni, ungakwazi njalo uhlale phansi ukhulume nomuntu othandekayo ngalokho okukukhathazayo. Noma okungenani wenze umzamo ozosiza abazali bethu baphile impilo yabo, futhi thina ngokwethu.