Kunezizathu eziningi eziyinhloko ze-vagaries yengane. Okokuqala, angaba mnandi, uma kukhona okuphazamisayo, isibonelo, uzizwa ebuhlungu, kodwa akaqondi lokhu, uvele ezwa kabi. Ukuzikhethela kwezingane ezincane ukuthi ngeke bakwazi ukuhlola ukuthi kwenzekani emzimbeni wabo, ngendlela umuntu omdala angazizwa ngayo futhi aziqonde. Okwesibili, okungenangqondo, ingane ngokuvamile iveza ukuthi uzizwa engenandaba. Ukhethe indlela yokuqala yokuxhumana nawe. Okwesithathu, ingane yakho, cishe, isiqaphele ukuthi ingakwazi ukufeza okuningi ngawe ngezingxabano zakhe. Usebenzisa nje ngokuhlakanipha. Lokhu kuyisiginali sokuthi awunamandla ekulwa nezimpikiswano zezingane.
Futhi ekugcineni - inketho yesine, evame kakhulu, okufanele ixoxwe ngokuningiliziwe. Abazali abaningi abaqapheli nokuba khona kwabo futhi bachaze ama-vagaries wengane nganoma yiziphi ezinye izizathu. Ekugcineni, bavele balahlekelwe isikhathi esiyigugu. Ngokuvamile, ingane yakho ifuna ukukuqonda ukuthi ubonisa ukugcinwa ngokweqile ngaye, ubonisa ngokucacile isifiso sokuzimela ngokwengeziwe. Lokhu kuthuthukiswe ikakhulu kulawo mindeni lapho isitayela sobukholo sokukhulisa sikhona, lapho abantu abadala befisa ukuzitshela ingane zonke izenzo zakhe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abazali bashukunyiswa izisusa ezinhle, ngoba bazi kahle ukuthi "kufanele kube kanjani." Ingane kuphela kule minyaka isivele ikwazi ukuhlola ngokujulile lokhu "okumele" futhi ngokuphelele ngendlela yayo.
Ngenxa yezifundo eziningi zezazi zengqondo, kwafakazelwa ukuthi ingane esemncane ukuthuthukiswa okuhambisanayo idinga ukulinganisela okulinganayo phakathi kwenkululeko, ukufundisa nokuvinjelwa. Kubalulekile ukuba abe nomuzwa wokuthi akagcini nje kuphela ukunakekelwa, kodwa futhi anikeze ilungelo lokuzikhethela, ukuhlonipha yena njengomuntu ngamunye. Abazali abaningi baqiniseka ngokugcwele ukuthi basekela isitayela senkululeko yentando yeningi, kodwa empeleni, ngokuphambene nalokho, babamba izingane zabo ngokuziphatha. Abomama "abanakekelayo" abanikeli ingane ngokwabo futhi bathathe isinyathelo ukuze bathathe isinyathelo: "Ungayithinti! "," Ungadlala lapha! "," Ungayi lapho! ". Ingabe kudingekile ukuvikela njalo ingane enkingeni? Ingane, emva kwakho konke, ayiyona ingcezu yobumba hhayi i-puppet, yenza okuningi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyayithanda noma cha. Ufuna uzame yonke into, ukuze afunde konke, futhi lokhu akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kwamaphutha, izigaxa nezinyembezi.
Ngokuvamile emindenini eminingi ukuqina ngokweqile kuhloswe yizintshisekelo zabazali, lapho umntwana olalelayo obangela izinkinga ezincane. Ngemuva kwalokho, uma ingane ithule, ihlazile, ihlezi ekhoneni futhi ingakhathazeki muntu, ayibuzi imibuzo engapheli, ayiceli ukudlala - kulula. Kodwa ukuthi ingane enjalo izokhula kanjani, izokhula kanjani, izothatha kuphi indaba yokukhula kwengqondo nokudala?
Eminyakeni emithathu ingane iwela umngcele wokuzimela obizwa ngokuthi "Mina ngokwami". Siyaphikisana nokuvinjelwa kwakhe, izinkomba kanye nemiyalelo, siyiphambene naye, nakuba sisengumntwana, kodwa isithunzi somuntu. Futhi futhi, ngisho nokungaziqondi thina, kodwa kuye kuyabonakala kakhulu, sibonisa ukuthi "akekho" futhi "sihlakaniphile". Futhi ingane iphoqelelwe okungenani ngokuhlaselwa kokungavumelani ukuzwakalisa ukuzimela kwakhe. Ukubonakaliswa kwenkani kuyindlela yokuvikela engokwemvelo yengane ephikisana nokuphambene nokuzimela kwakhe. Cabanga ngalokho okuzokwenzakala ingane ukulwa kwakho nge-whims? Ungaziganga ngomcabango wokuthi lapho kwenzeka "ukunqoba" kwakho okuphelele phezu kwama-vagaries wengane, kuzoba lula kuwe ukuthi uphile. Ngokuphambene nalokho. Uzothola esikhathini esizayo umuntu obuthakathaka, ongenamuntu. Futhi maduzane wena ngokwakho uzothola i-alamu kwenye isenzakalo: "O, ingane yami ayifanele ukushintsha impilo. Akaqiniseki ngokuqinisekile, uyesaba konke. Unamahloni, unganandaba, uhoxisiwe, unomsindo, awuhambisani noontanga. " Izikhalo zalolu hlobo ziveza ekwamukeleni kwengqondo kwengxenye yabo bonke abazali. Ngaphezu kwalokho, iminyaka yobudala yezingane ihlukahluka eminyakeni emihlanu kuya kweyishumi nambili. Futhi ungawaqondi abazali abanjalo ukuthi izimpande ze-infantilism yezingane zabo zizalelwa kule "ngqungquthela ye-whims" yokuqala, lapho abantu abadala behluleka ukuphula ingane ngokuyigxilisa ibe yizimele ezilungele zona. Kodwa ubugovu bezingane esikhathini esizayo budala ukuzethemba, nenkani - ukuphikelela nokubekezela komoya.
Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi umzabalazo wezinzwa zabantwana awuphendukeli ingane kanye nekusasa lakhe. Noma yiziphi izimfuneko ezintsha noma izinqatshelwe kumele kube nokucabangela futhi kuqondakale kwengane. Futhi lena yindlela kuphela yokunciphisa "ukuphakama kwezingubo" zokuqala wena nomntwana. Ucabanga ukuthi uyakwenza konke ukukuhlambalaza? Khumbula ukuthi ukuvinjelwa kwakho kwezwakala kanjani. Uma ngabe owomile "awukwazi", ngaphandle kokuchaza, khona-ke ngokuqinisekile uzothuthuka enkampanini ephindaphindiwe. Phela, kule minyaka ayikho into elingayo kunokwenza into "engavumelekile." Futhi kulokhu konke ukuzibonakalisa kubonakala.
Lapho sibhekene ne-vagaries yengane, sivame ukuthola isizathu. Futhi ungacabanga nje kuphela, kodwa awusiye yini onenkinga? Ubani onenkani kakhulu: abazali abahlala bethi "lokhu akunakwenzeka", "kubalulekile ukwenza kanjalo ..." noma ingane iphikisana nakho konke lokhu ngomzamo wokuzivikela? Noma mhlawumbe awunayo ingqondo eyaneleyo, ukuguquguquka, isifiso nesikhathi sokuchazela ingane, kungani ufuna kuye ncamashi lokhu. Noma kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe kuphela ukulalela kwakhe okulalelayo? Emva kwakho konke, ungakwazi nje ukubhekana nezinkinga zobuntwana, usongela ukuthuthuka zibe yizinkohlakalo, uthi, "Ngabe, bheka, zingaki izinyembezi! Asifake ebhodleleni. " Noma "O, kunomuntu omncane ongenakuqhathaniswa kuwe! Enjalo enhle! Ake sidlale futhi sifune naye. " Akungabazeki ukuthi kuyoba khona ingane emhlabeni, ozwa into enjalo, ngeke ishintshe ngenjabulo kumdlalo othakazelisayo. Futhi-ke ngokujabula okufanayo kuzokwenza lokho okucele ukuthi angaphumeleli ngendlela ehlelekile.
Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, esimweni sokuthi, wonke amalungu omkhaya aziphathe ngendlela efanayo. Uma kungenjalo ingane yakho izobe isheshe ifunde indlela yokuphatha ugogo, ugogo, ubaba ngobuchule, ukuthi yikuphi ukuziphatha okuzosebenza kuwo ngamunye wabo.