Ukuthembeka, ukukhohliswa, ukwethemba ubudlelwano


Ubuhlobo bethu nomuntu othandekayo buye buba kaningi kangakanani ngenxa yokuphikisana ... Futhi yini empeleni ukwethembeka, ukungathembeki, ukwethemba ubuhlobo? Kumele ngisenze kusengaphambili ukuthi ngiziveza ngombono wami kulokhu, ngiyazi kahle ukuthi incazelo ehlukile ngokuphelele yombuzo wokuthembeka, ukukhashelwa nokuthembela ebuhlotsheni yande emphakathini.

Ngenkolelo yami ejulile, akukho ukukhohliswa nhlobo - kukhona ukwethembeka komunye nomunye, imigomo ehlangene kanye nezinhlelo zekusasa - yibo abenza ukuzethemba kokubili kanye nokuzinza ebuhlotsheni. Ukwehliswa - lokhu kwenzeka ngokuqondile emndenini wobudlelwane bomndeni kaningi, futhi awukwazi ukubeka uphawu olulinganayo phakathi kokukhaphela nokukhwabanisa, lezizinto ezihluke ngokuphelele.

Yini evame ukubhekwa njengesihluku?

Uhambo oluya kwesobunxele bomunye womshado noma amalungu enyunyana ebambene. Ngokuvamile bakhuluma ngokukhwabaniswa kwamadoda, kanti abesifazane nabo bahamba ngendlela efanayo, njalo kakhulu. Okungenani ngoba owesifazane osebenza futhi, ngaphandle komyeni wakhe, naye oyedwa noma ababili, akusikho isikhathi saso

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Ngakho-ke, ngisho nesifiso esinamandla sokusebenzisa lokhu "ukuhlukunyezwa" ngeke kuphumelele. Ngakho-ke lo mbuzo uvela ukuthi ukuthembeka noma ukungabi nethuba lokwenza isenzo sokukhaphela, futhi yikuphi uhlobo lokuthembela ebuhlotsheni obungaba khona uma owesifazane "eboshiwe" ejokeni futhi edonsa ukuphila?


Indoda eshadile ihlale iselula futhi ikhululekile njalo. Iya kunoma iyiphi indawo yokuphola - kunomqondo wokuthi kunamadoda ashadile abhalisiwe kunokuba afune umphefumulo wabo womshado. Kungani? Uma amadoda ashadile lapho efuna ubulili kuphela, kusho ukuthi abanalo ubulili ebuhlotsheni bomshado. Yikuphi okuthakazelisayo kakhulu, okuhlangenwe nakho kokushada komshado kungaba kusuka ku-zero kuya kokungapheli.

Yini echaza ukuthi "zhenatiki" ukunganeliseki okunjalo? "Umfazi akazi ukuthi angafuni kanjani noma angathandi ukwenza lokhu noma ukuthi ... Unomatasa kakhulu ... Sinezimpawu ezihlukene ... Akukho ocansini nomkayo ... Umfazi uyisinkwa, kodwa ufuna i-bun ngesinye isikhathi ..."

Nginitshela ukuthi, owesifazane oshadile angenza lonke uhlu lweziphambeko zobulili nomyeni wakhe, okuyinto, empeleni, akusona isizathu sokuthola ukwaneliseka kwezidingo zabo ohlangothini. Ukuhlola okuhlangenwe nakho kobudlelwane bomndeni phakathi kwabahlobo bakho nabangane bakho, ufika esiphethweni sokuthi owesifazane oshadile uyakwazi ukwenza ucansi nomunye umuntu (angisho ukuphinga), ezimweni ezihlukile.

Ukuziphatha okubi nokunciphisa amathuba

Noma yimuphi ubuhlobo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umshado wezomthetho noma womphakathi, noma kungakabi umshado, kanjalo ... kusho ukunciphisa inkululeko yabantu bonke abangena emnyangweni. Futhi uma sicabanga ukuthi wonke umuntu angase ajabule, kuphela ekhululekile, kungaba ngcono kuwo wonke umuntu uma kungekho mingcele enkululeko emanyunyeni wabambiswano.

Cha, akusona okubi. Kuwukuziphatha okubi ukusola abathandekayo bakho bese uletha ubuchopho babo emhawu wabo futhi bawenze baqambe amanga futhi baziphendulele. Kubuye kube nokuziphatha okubi ukunciphisa isigamu sobulili ngenxa yecala, noma ngenxa yesikhalazo esingafaki ubuhlobo obuseduze. Yebo, emuva kokuthi ukukhwabanisa okusemthethweni, akunakwenzeka.

Akuzona zonke izinyunyana zomndeni ezisekelwe othandweni, kungenzeka ukuthi zingenakuqala, zingadlula isikhathi ... Yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlubuka esingakhuluma ngalo? Ubulili ohlangothini luyi-sex kuphela ohlangothini. Futhi uma unemizwa, bese ucansi ohlangothini - lokhu akusikho ukuhlukumezeka, kungukulala nje, ngoba akudingeki udide uthando nocansi.

Ukuqonda othandekayo ...

Kubalulekile ukuzama ukuqonda othandekayo bakho (othandekayo). Umuntu oyedwa akakwazi ukwanelisa zonke izidingo zomunye, noma othandekayo. Ngakho-ke, akudingeki "ukondle" othandekayo wakho, ake umuntu abe nethuba lokuwanelisa izidingo zakhe kuze kube sezingeni eliphezulu, khona-ke uzozizwa engcono, futhi lokhu kuzoba nethonya elihle ebuhlotsheni bakho. Kuphela kukho konke okufanele kube nokulingana, okungukuthi, inkululeko kufanele itholakale kokubili.

Lokhu kunzima ukuyiqonda nokwamukela. Kodwa, uma ungayisebenzisa empilweni yakho, uzojabula ngokushesha. Ungazihlukumezi wena nomthandekayo wakho ngomhawu, ngoba umhawu awubonakaliso wothando. Othandekayo akuyona impahla yakho, unikwa yona ukuze ujabulele ukuthi useduze nawe.

Ungayibona, uyizwe, uphefumule ngomoya owodwa! Lena injabulo! Ngakho ungaphanga injabulo yakho ngomhawu. Umona uchitha ubuhlobo futhi ubulala imizwa. Qaphela imizwa yakho kanye nemizwa yabathandekayo bakho, uthembele kubo, ungawavivinyi, ungaxoshi lutho. Cabanga ukuthi impilo yakho izoshintsha kanjani uma uyeka ukuthanda lo muntu, futhi uma uzibulala, uzojabula yini?

Ukuhlala emshadweni ngaphandle kothando kunzima, futhi ngokuvamile akupheli kahle. Uma ubuhlobo bubalulekile kubathandekayo bakho, phinda njengomthandazo: "Ngithanda kuphela ebuhlotsheni bami nomuntu othandekayo, hhayi ebuhlotsheni bakhe nomunye umuntu, ngoba kimi akukho okubaluleke kakhulu futhi okubiza kakhulu kunalobu buhlobo. Futhi ngeke ngiphinde ngibabhubhise ngokusola kwami, ngoba umhawu ubonakaliswa yombono wobunikazi, hhayi wothando.

"Uma nginomona, angithandi."

Lokhu kunzima ukufunda, kodwa, uma ufunde, uzozizwa ukhululekile. Ngisho noma umuntu oyedwa kuphela ovela enyunyeni afinyelela ezindaweni ezinjalo, ubudlelwane buyoqina futhi buhlale buqinile. Enye into, uma le mizwa ingekho ...