Uma lezi hormone egazini azanele - ziqala ukunganaki, ubuhlungu, ubuhlungu nokuhlupheka, umuntu ufuna amathuba okubona into yokudumisa kwakhe, uthole elinye "umthamo" wenjabulo. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ufuna nje ukuphunyuka ebunzini lalezi hormone, kusuka kulokhu okunamathiselwe kwesigqila. Isihloko esithi "Ungamyeka kanjani ukuthanda indoda: iseluleko somqondo wezengqondo" siyokufundisa indlela yokuqeda ukuxhomeka komuntu ekukhonzeni.
Kubalulekile ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwezinhlobo ezahlukene zothando, amafomu ahlukene. Ngokuvamile, uthando ludidekile ngokunamathiselwe, ukuxhomeka, isifiso sokukhokha isizungu noma ukuthambekela kokuzibophezela emibonweni ephakeme yomsindo, isenzo esingaqondakali "sosizi," ukuze uzwe imizwa efanayo futhi ube yingxenye yendaba ethandwayo yothando, ngokobubele futhi obuhlungu. Ngezikhathi ezinjalo kudingekile ukuba uziqonde wena, thola ukuthambekela okunjalo nokungabonakali kukho konke okubangela imizwa enjalo.
Ngokuvamile kubonakala ngathi umuntu akafuni ukuzwa ukudabuka, ubuhlungu, njll. Kodwa izazi ze-psychologist ziye zafakazela ukuthi lokhu akunjalo, futhi thina ngokwethu singabona ukuthi ukudabuka nenjabulo bangabangane bangunaphakade bokuphila kwethu. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi siyathanda ukudabuka, siyidinga. Lokhu akusho ukuthi wonke umuntu ungu-masochist, kodwa akufani nokudabukisa wonke umuntu. Kodwa kukhona abantu abaye bathembela kulo mzwelo, futhi uthando olungelona uthando olwenza ukuba bahlupheke futhi bahlupheke, bathande ngempela, nakuba bengenakukuvuma. Abantu abanjalo ngeke bafune ukuhlukana nento yezinkanuko zabo futhi ukungazi lutho kwabo kuzobacindezela ezenzweni ezizoqinisa isimo sabo "sokubhujiswa". Kulokhu, izazi zengqondo zeluleka ukuyeka ukuthanda umuntu nokucubungula imibono yazo esimweni samanje sezinto. Phela, kungcono ukuqala impilo egcwele kunokuhlala uhlupheka kakhulu, ukwandisa "umthamo" wakho. Kodwa ukuthi "ungathandi!" Kalula - kepha ungamyeka kanjani ukuthanda indoda? Iseluleko sezengqondo siyadingeka kakhulu ukuze singadideki ezifisweni nasezinkingeni zabo.
Kodwa kunezimo zothando lwangempela, uthande okubabayo futhi okungahambi kahle, okungewona okwenzekayo. Kwenzeka, ngezinye izikhathi kufanele sikhohlwe abantu esibathandayo. Futhi kuyoba okulungile kakhulu ukuthi ungalahlekelwa yisikhathi sakho futhi ukhohlwe lowo muntu oletha ubuhlungu kuwe ukuze ahlangabezane nalowo esikhathini esizayo.
"Ngabe ngingazikhohlisi kahle, ngingamkhohlwa kanjani manje?", "Asinaso ikusasa, kodwa angikwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle kwalo ...", "Ngimthanda, kumele ngibe naye, kumele ngimsize, kodwa ... akafuni ukuba abe eduze nami, "" Uyangizonda futhi asibonanga isikhathi eside kangaka, "" Angihloniphi nhlobo, uyangiphatha njengento engafanele, enginaki, futhi ngimthanda kakhulu! ", - konke okushiwo yalezi zincwadi - kuphela isiliva enhlabathini ehlane lokufutheka, okuletha isimo esifanayo kwabesifazane. Indlela efanele yokuphuma kuyoba ukuqala impilo entsha, ukubheka iminyango emisha, nakuba kunzima ukuphuma empilweni yangaphambilini ... Ngakho-ke ungayeka kanjani ukuthanda indoda ethandekayo? Yisiphi iseluleko sososayensi wezengqondo esizosisiza kulokhu?
Isigaba esibucayi kakhulu kuzokwenza isinqumo sokuphula uxhumano. Wena ngokwakho kufanele uqaphele ukuthi lokhu kuwukuphela kokuphela kobudlelwane futhi ngeke balethe noma yini engcono kuwe. Okhethiweyo wakho akakunaki, akabonanga imizwa yothando, uba ngumqali wazo zonke imihlangano, nawe unganqikazi ukuzethemba, ulokhu ubuyela emicabangweni yesikhathi esedlule, futhi ucabanga ngakho, ubhekene nokufutheka nokukhathazeka, awukwazi ukunquma ngemizwa futhi angazi ukuthi benzeni, kodwa wenza konke angathanda, njengoba ethanda ... Uma phakathi kwezinye izinkulumo uzibonele ngokwakho, lokhu kuyisibonakaliso esicacile ukuthi yisikhathi sokuqeda ubuhlobo. Thola amandla okuhlukanisa okwedlule futhi unqume ukukhohlwa umthandi wakho. Ngokuvamile, kuxhomeke kulo, yini impilo yakho ezayo ...
Uma uvame ukhetha ukulikhohlwa, kodwa nje kulezi zenzakalo kwenzeka ukuthi uqala ukuziphatha ngobuqotho, ukukunaka ... Ungakhokheli kulokhu, ngakho uzoqinisa kuphela ukunamathiselwe kwakho kuye futhi ubonise ubuthakathaka bakho. Isinqumo esinjalo - njengokuhamba emjikelezweni ovaliwe, uzobuyela njalo enkingeni yakho, ngakho-ke ngeke uphume kulo. Uma wenza isinqumo - qinisa futhi uqiniseke ngezinhloso zakho, qiniseka ukuthi awubuyeli ngempela kulo, udale i-monologue yangaphakathi, zibuze ukuthi kungani kufanele wenze lokhu futhi ... sinqume, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunzima kangakanani futhi kunzima kangakanani kubonakala .
Ngezinye izikhathi, kunezinye izithiyo ezingokwengqondo zokukhohlwa umuntu. Okunye okumele ufunde, mtshele umbono wakho - yenza ngendlela yokuthi ukwanelise leyo mininingwane engakuvumeli ukuba uhambe. Iseshini sesazi sengqondo noma isazi sengqondo, ukunikezwa kwemicabango kwidayari, ingxoxo ende nomngani omkhulu kufanele ikusize "ulungiselele" ingqondo yakho ukuze ushintshe. Khumbula, kulokhu akukho amagama athi "Angikwazi", "Angifuni" nokuthi "Angiyikukwenza".
Uma unquma ukuyeka ukuthanda indoda, qala kuqala ukubhubhisa konke okukukhumbuza ngaye - inombolo yocingo, izithombe, ukuqeda noma ukuyishisa kanye nezinhlamvu zakho (nje usishise, kubangela umphumela ongokomqondo ohluke kakhulu). Ungazivumeli ukuba ukhunjulwe ngaye, futhi nakakhulu akudingeki ukuba umbone. Xoxa nabangani bakho bobabili ukuze bangakhulumi futhi ungaqali ukukhuluma ngakho. Thola kuwo izimfanelo ezimbi, uziqaphele ngokuzenzekelayo, ucabange uzisebenzisa esikhathini esizayo esingenakuguqulwa, uhlele isimo.
Uma ungabonakali kuzo zonke izinto ezixhunyaniswe nakho, zithathele okuthile, zizinakekele, ungenele ezemidlalo, ufunde futhi usebenze - kuzokuphazamisa emicabangweni engalungile futhi usebenze njengomuthi omuhle kakhulu. Yenza ubuciko bakho, uzibeke emcabangweni omusha - futhi maduzane uzomuzwa ukuthi ubuthakathaka bugcwele, konke kuwela endaweni, futhi uqala ukujabulela ukuphila.
Kodwa ungazivumeli ube nesizungu, wenze njengoba inhliziyo yakho ikutshela, ugcwalise umphefumulo wakho ngothando - ukuxhumana nabangane, izihlobo, ukwenza abangane obasha futhi uma uzizwa usulungile, zivulele ubuhlobo obusha. Khona-ke isilonda sakho siphulukiswa ngokuphelele.
Futhi khumbula ukuthi konke kuxhomeke kuwe nakwesifiso sakho. Isikhathi asiphuluki, uziphatheka, ubude besikhathi sokwelashwa buxhomeke kuwe. Uma omunye umnyango uvale, abanye bavulekile, futhi ngezinye izikhathi sidinga ukuvala ukuvala kwethu esidala ukuze singene esikhathini esizayo esiqhakazile.