Akuwona wonke umzali ocabanga ngokujulile ngokubaluleka kwendima yakhe ekwakheni ubuntu bomntwana. Njengomthetho, abazali abaningi bancishisa inqubo yonke eyinkimbinkimbi yemfundo ekukhuthazeni okungavamile nokujeziswa njalo, ngokungafanele bakholelwa ukuthi "isanqante kanye nokunamathela" kuzokwenza umsebenzi wabo ngokwabo - bayoletha umuntu ofanelekayo. Kodwa ukubamba ukuthi le ndlela ihlangene kakhulu futhi ayincane kakhulu ekuthuthukiseni ubuntu obuhlelekile. Indlela yokukhulisa ingane ngokunembile, ake sizame ukuqonda isihloko sethu sanamuhla.
Izisulu zabahlukunyezwa ...
Isazi sezokwelapha esaziwayo, umlobi wezincwadi eziningi eziphathelene ne-psychosomatics nokukhula komuntu siqu, isithombe sezenkolo kanye nesibonelo sokulingisa uLouise L. Hay encwadini yakhe ethi "Ungashintsha kanjani impilo yakho" ubhala ukuthi sonke siyizisulu zabahlukunyezwa. Uyaqiniseka ukuthi isipiliyoni sabazali esithwala ngamunye wethu kubantwana bethu sakhiwe ngesisekelo sobubuntwana bakho kanye nobuhlobo nabazali. Ngamanye amazwi, abazali abakwazi ukufundisa ingane lokho bona ngokwabo abangazange bakuthole kubazali babo. Le ndlela yokwenza inkinga, isibonelo, ichaza ukuthi kungani kunzima kakhulu izintandane ezingakaze zithole uthando lomama ukuze zithole umndeni wabo ozayo esikhathini esizayo.
Futhi manje cabanga ngalokho okuhlangenwe nakho okungalungile kwabazali bakho ophethe abantwana bakho? Mhlawumbe ufana nobaba wakho enganaki impumelelo yengane yakho? Noma mhlawumbe uyamjezisa ngesihluku ngenxa yazo zonke izinkinga? Noma ungamtsheli ukuthi uyamthanda, ngoba umama wakho akazange akwenze ngesikhathi sakhe? Uma ubamba kahle enkumbulweni yakho, ungathola izibonelo eziningi ezinjalo kusukela ebuntwaneni, futhi ophinde uphile ekuphileni kwemfundo yezingane zakho. Ukuqaphela lokhu, ungasheshi ukusola abazali babo, ngoba, njengawe, akekho oye wafundisa ubuciko bemfundo. Yamukela isipiliyoni sabo futhi ekugcineni uphule umbuthano ononya wokungaqondi ngokuqala indlela yakho efanele ekufundiseni isizukulwane esisha somndeni wakho. Qaphela ukuthi ukufundisa kahle ingane yakho, awugcini nje ngokuthokozisa, kodwa futhi wabeka isisekelo sokubuthana okujabulisayo kwabazukulu bakho.
Indlela yokukhulisa ingane: indima kayise nomama emndenini
Indlela yokukhulisa ingane ngendlela efanele? Kunzima ukunikeza impendulo engavamile kulo mbuzo. Yiqiniso, kunezincwadi eziningi eziphathelene nokufundiswa kwengqondo kanye nengane yengqondo, lapho izimfihlo zokukhulisa umntwana ojabule futhi ophumelelayo zifihliwe. Kodwa iningi lalezi "mfihlo" liyaziwa yilowo nalowo kithi. Enye into ukuthi akuwona wonke umzali osebenzisa lolu lwazi ngokuphathelene nengane yakhe. Ngokuvamile, isizathu salokhu kuziphatha kuwukuntuleka kwemibono ecacile yalokho okukhulunywe kahle.
Okokuqala, ekuthuthukiseni ubuntu obuvumelanayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubulili, kufanele kube kokubili indlela yesifazane nesilisa emndenini. Lezi zindlela ziyahlukahluka kakhulu komunye nomunye, kepha zenziwe ngokugcwele, zakha indlela ephelele. Yingakho emindenini engaphelele, lapho kunomzali oyedwa kuphela okhona, kunzima ukunikeza ingane umbono oqondile wemisebenzi yomndeni wesilisa nowesifazane. Lokho-ke, kuchaza amaphesenti aphezulu kakhulu okuhlukanisa phakathi kwalabo abakhulile emndenini ongaphelele.
Uyini umehluko emkhatsini wesifazane nowesilisa ekukhuliseni? Njengomthetho, obaba bafuna izingane zabo zibe nzima, zingaboni kahle ngokomzwelo futhi zizwakala kahle. Bakwazi ukwehlisa ukucabanga okungenasici esimweni esibucayi futhi benze isinqumo esifanele esimweni sokuphikisana. Abomama bakhudlwana ngokomzwelo, bavame ukuma ngokungaqondakali eceleni kwengane ezindabeni eziphikisanayo futhi bathambekele ekumenikeleni noma yikuphi, ngisho nezenzo ezimbi kakhulu. Kodwa naphezu kwalokhu, uthando lwamama, uma engathandeki futhi oluyimpumputhe, lubangela ukuzethemba kwengane, linikeza ukusekelwa kokuziphatha, linikeza umuzwa wokulondeka. Igunya likababa kanye nokunciphisa umama ndawonye kudala isisekelo esifanele sokukhuliswa kwengane ejabule. Ngakho-ke, uma izindima zobulili zikababa nomama zichazwe ngokucacile emndenini, izingane zifunda ukuzimela, ziphendule izenzo zabo, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ziyakwazi ukuthanda nokuzinakekela abanye. Uma kwenzeka omunye wabazali engekho noma izindima zabantu abadala zisuswa, lokhu kunzima nakakhulu.
Iyini ukukhuliswa okulungile kwengane?
Njengoba iqiniso lokuthi ekufundeni ngamunye abazali kumele bafeze indima yabo, baqonda. Manje ake sikhulume ngalokho okufakiwe emqondweni ofanayo wokukhuliswa. Uma kuhlanganiswa, ukukhuliswa kubizwa ngokuthi inqubo enenjongo yokwakheka komuntu, okuyilungiselela ukubamba iqhaza emphakathini wamasiko nezenhlalakahle ngokuhambisana nemigomo yomphakathi lapho ihlala khona. Ngamanye amazwi, ukufundisa ingane, simfundisa imithetho yokuziphatha nezindlela zokuxhumana nabanye. Futhi le nqubo isetshenziswe kakhulu. Imfundo efanele ayikhawulelwanga kuphela emithethweni yokuziphatha nokuhlonipha. Kufaka, isibonelo, futhi:
- ukufundisa ingane ukuthi izakhi zizakhele izimo eziphikisanayo
- ukubeka izimfanelo ezinjalo zomphakathi njengokubaluleka komusa, isihawu, ukuthanda izinto, njalonjalo.
- isisusa sokuphumelela nokufeza imigomo
- ukuqeqeshwa ngokubambisana, ukwesekwa kokubili, ubuciko bokuzibophezela
- ukugxilisa ukuzimela nokuzimela kwemibono
Ngamanye amazwi, ukuze ukhulise ingane ngendlela efanele, umuntu kufanele amfundise ukuba yingxenye yomphakathi, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo angashintshi imibono yakhe futhi njalo uhlale yena.
Amathiphu awusizo: indlela yokukhulisa ingane ejabule
Manje, ukuqonda ukuthi umqondo wokuthi "ukukhuliswa" yikuphi nokuthi yimiphi imigomo okudingeka uyenze ukuqhubeka nayo, kungenzeka ukuxoxa kanye namathiphu azosiza ukukhulisa ingane ehlelwe kahle.
Ithiphu # 1: Uthando lwe-Express, ukwesekwa nokuqonda
Iseluleko sokuqala sabaningi singase sibonakale silula - ukuthi sinike uthando nokusekela ezinganeni zethu. Kodwa lapha umbuzo awukho kakhulu phambi kwezinzwa njengokusho kwabo ngokuqondile. Utshela kangaki ingane ukuthi uyamthanda? Ubonga kaningi kangakanani impumelelo emikhulu nangaphansi? Uvame kangakanani ukuveza ukusekelwa kwakho esimweni esinzima? Abantu abadala bacabanga ukuthi zonke izenzo zethu zizikhulumela zona: siphinde sondle, sigqoke, sithenge amathoyizi futhi siqhubekele ezikhangayo. Ingabe akwanele ukuba ingane iqonde ukuthi simthanda kangakanani? Akukhona nje kuphela okwanele, kodwa futhi kuyiphutha ngokuyisisekelo. Ukusekelwa kwabazali kufanele kuboniswe iseluleko nokuhlanganyela, hhayi ezintweni ezibonakalayo. Kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngothando bese ukuveza ngokubamba futhi ukuhlangana. Futhi ukuqonda kufanele kube ngaphandle kokugxeka.
Inomboro yeBhodi 2: Ukuhlanganyela ngobuqotho ezinkingeni zezingane
Kusukela ekuphakameni kweminyaka edlule ukuthi ukungqubuzana nabalingani esikoleni, uthando olungathandeki kanye namamaki amabi kungase kubonakale sengathi kungamanga, okungafanele ukhathazeke ngawo. Kodwa ngomntwana zonke lezi "nonsense" zakha isisekelo sezwe labantwana futhi zibangela izinkinga eziningi. Yiqiniso, isikhathi sizodlula futhi ingane izokhohlwa ngephutha. Futhi uma uhlala kude nezimo ezifanayo, ingane izosinda kulolu phiko ngaphandle kwakho. Uyosinda futhi afunde ukunganaki izinkinga zezingane zabo esikhathini esizayo. Futhi ngisho nangaphambili uzoyeka ukukunikezela ekuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe, kancane kancane aphenduke enganeni engapheli futhi engabongiyo. Ungaphuthelwa ithuba lokuba yingxenye ebalulekile empilweni yengane yakho. Bamba iqhaza empilweni yakhe, sitshele okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe, kumsize uthole indlela yokuphuma kwezimo ezinzima, wabelane ngolwazi lwakhe.
Inombolo yeBhodi 3: Vumela ingane inkululeko
Ukungena kanye ne-hyperope yizinhlangothi ezimbili zemali efanayo. Uma usakholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi ukhathalela njalo ingane yakho, uyamnika ukuphepha okugcwele kanye nobuntwana obujabulisayo, khona-ke uphutha ngokujulile. Okokuqala, ukugcinwa ngokweqile kuhlanganisa zonke izinhlobo zokuzimela, ukulahla ingane yokuzikhethela. Okwesibili, ukuziphatha okunjalo kwabazali akunikezi ulwazi lomntwana lwecala nokuphutha. Okwesithathu, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi i-hyperopeak iholela ekungeneni okuphelele kwenhloso, noma ekuphikeleni okungapheli. Ngakho-ke, uma ungafuni ukukhulisa umuntu ongafanelanga ukuphila okuzimele noma ubuntu obusondelene naye, bese ususa ngokuphuthumayo konke ukubonakaliswa kwe-hyperopeaching. Nika umntwana ithuba lokwenza amaphutha, amfundise ukwenza izinqumo futhi athathe umthwalo wemfanelo ngamaphutha akhe. Ngakho-ke umfundisa ukuthi angesabi ukuqaphela amaphupho abo, abe ngumholi phakathi kontanga.
Ithiphu # 4: Konke kulungiswa
Uthando oluningi kakhulu, njengoba ubunzima ngokweqile ngokufanayo kuyathinta kakhulu ingane. Imizwa, kokubili okuhle nokubi, kufanele ibe khona ngenqubo yokufundisa. Kodwa bonke kufanele bazibonakalise ngokwenza okulinganiselayo, ngaphandle kokushiseka okukhulu nokudlulela ngokweqile. Khumbula ukuthi ubunzima obuningi bubonakala ingane, njengokuhlukanisa nokucindezelwa. Isibonelo, abazali abahloniphekile bavame ukukhulisa izingane ezinemibono ye-anarchic engaqapheli imithetho nemigomo. Ngakho-ke yiba ngokweqile ngokuqinile, njalo umgomo futhi ungakhohlwa mayelana nokusekela okufika ngesikhathi.
Ithiphu # 5: Musa ukubeka umbono wakho namaphupho akho
Umsebenzi womzali ukufundisa ingane ngokuqeqesha. Futhi njengomthetho, okuhlangenwe nakho komuntu omdala kuba yisisekelo sale nqubo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abazali abaningi, abaqondiswa yisimiso esithi "ukungathathi izinyathelo ezimbili kabili," bakhetha ukunikeza ingane isisombululo esilungele zonke izinkinga zakhe. Bazama ukubeka imibono yabo ngonya, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo bakhohlwe ngokuphelele ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ngabanye. Futhi akudingekile ukuthi esimweni esifanayo nokulandela isibonelo somzali, ingane izogwema amaphutha nokuhluleka. Konke ongakwenza ukutshela mayelana nesipiliyoni sakho esifanayo bese uchazela othandekayo wakho ukuthi angasebenzisa ulwazi lwakho.
Okufanayo kusebenza ekubekeni kwezifiso namaphupho abo angagcwaliseki. Yiqiniso, ungakwazi ukuphoqa ingane ukuba ithathe izifundo ze-ballet noma uzibhalele esikoleni somculo. Kodwa ukuphoqa ingane ukuba ihlanganyele ebhizinisini elizondayo, uma nje ligcwalisa izifiso zakhe ezingagcwaliseki, akunakwenzeka. Lokhu kungukuchitha isikhathi, amandla nemali, okuhambisana nokudumala okuphelele.
Indlela yokukhulisa ingane ngaphandle kokumemeza nokujezisa?
Iseluleko samabhodi, uyaphikisana, kodwa empilweni yangempela ukuba ube yisibonelo sokuqonda nokuthula okuphelele nezingane kunzima. Futhi njengomthetho, ebhekene nokuhlukunyezwa okungajwayelekile futhi ukungalaleli, abazali abaningi bahlabelela futhi basebenzise zonke izinhlobo zokujeziswa. Kusukela ekubukeni kwengqondo, ukuziphatha okunjalo kwabazali kuyimbonakaliso yobuthakathaka. Amandla nokuhlazeka maqondana nengane, okuyinto ebuthakathaka okokuqala kuwe, imelela uhlobo lwekhalenda lokugcina ekhanda lomzali. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokumemeza njalo ingane, umfundisa ngokuqondile ukuthi ilungelo liqinile futhi likhulile. Kodwa okubi nakakhulu ukuthi kancane kancane ingane iqala "uhlobo lokuzivikela" ekwenzeni imizwa eyengeziwe futhi ivele iqale ukunganaki noma yikuphi ukuziphatha kwabadala. Ngakho-ke, izingane zilahlekelwa izinto ezibalulekile, zithi ngezwi elikhulu noma ngezwi elihlelekile. Futhi konke lokho, ngenkathi ukukhala emfundweni kuqala kuthwala umsebenzi omuhle wokuxwayisa mayelana nosongo nengozi.
Kuzo zonke ezingenhla, ungathola iziphetho ezimbili. Okokuqala, ukumemeza nokujezisa akufanele kube yingxenye ebalulekile yokukhulelwa kwengane yakho. Isiphetho sesibili singase sibonakale sengathi abaningi banengxabano, kodwa ngomkhuba kusebenza ngokuphelele. Ungamemeza ingane, kodwa udinga nje ukwenza lokhu ezimweni eziphuthumayo. Isibonelo, lapho ingane isongelwa ingozi yangempela ngendlela inja enolaka noma, ngesivinini esikhulu, imoto. Khona-ke, emva kokugxeka ukungacabangi kwakhe, hhayi yena ngokwakhe, ubonisa ukukhathazeka kwakho, futhi ithoni yakho ephakeme iyoqinisa ubukhulu besimo. Kodwa ake siphinde, ukulila okunjalo nokujeziswa kufanele kube okuhlukile kunomthetho ongunaphakade. Kuphela kulokhu kuzosebenza kahle.
Ukufingqa imiphumela emincane, singakwazi ukuhlukanisa izimiso eziningana eziyisisekelo zemfundo efanele:
- imfundo yengane kufanele ilandelwe ngokufanayo ngabazali bobabili, ngayinye ngendlela yayo kanye nezindlela zayo
- Kudingeka ufunde ukwakha ubudlelwane obethembayo nengane, ngokusekelwe othandweni nasekuqondeni
- Kubalulekile ukunikeza izingane inkululeko, kodwa futhi ukubeka imingcele eqondile kulokho okuvunyelwe
Futhi into esemqoka ukuba isibonelo esihle salezi zimfanelo ukuze ukhulise ingane enomusa, ethembekile futhi evuselelwe. Ngakho qalisa inqubo yokukhulisa izingane kuwe!