Emndenini lapho kukhona bobabili nonina, amalungu onke enza umsebenzi wawo wengqondo ekukhulisweni kwengane, ngisho nomuntu owaziwayo uqonda lokhu. Kwenzekani lapho uyise engeke anike ingane yakhe ukunakwa okufanayo njengangaphambili?
Uma ukholelwa izichazamazwi, khona-ke ukuzithoba kuyisimo sengqondo esithinta iqiniso lemvelaphi yengane yalowo muntu, kanye nenkulumo yokukhathazeka ngokuphila kwakhe, ukukhuliswa, impilo nemfundo.
Indima kababa ekukhuliseni umndeni
Indima yendoda emndenini ayiyona ehlukile ezinkolweni nakwezinye izizwe ezihlukene futhi incike ezintweni ezifana nenani labantwana nabafazi, ukutholakala nomthamo wokuxhumana nomfazi nezingane, izinga lokubusa phezu kwezingane, ukuthi ubaba uhlanganisiwe ekunakekeleni ingane, imikhuba ehlobene nokukhuliswa kwakhe, futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, ekuhlanganyeleni ekuvikelweni nasekuhlinzekeni komndeni nakho konke okudingekayo.
Kwakubhekwa kungathandeki uma ubaba ejwayele ukuxhumana nengane, ukuveza obala imizwa yakhe emiphakathini eminingi emidala, futhi ngisho nokulahlwa yisithunzi. Ngendlela yanamuhla yomndeni, ochwepheshe babona ukuhlangana kobaba nabantwana, noma kunjalo, lokhu kuhambisana nokudonsa egunyeni lomzali wesilisa. Umndeni wanamuhla ubhekene nokwanda kwephesenti lezingane ezingenabantwana, ukungenwa kwemfundo kababa, noma ukuthi uyise kaningi engekho emndenini. Ngakho-ke, umndeni wanamuhla uba umthamo omkhulu. Ngokombono wethu, umndeni uveza ukulahlekelwa kulolu shintsho.
Asikho isizathu sokukuqinisekisa ukuthi indima kababa ekukhulisweni kwengane nasemndenini wonke ukhulu kakhulu (ngemuva kwakho konke, ubaba uyashiya umndeni). Indoda emndenini isivele isebenzisekile ngoba, ngemva kwesehlukaniso, abesifazane abasenaso isikhathi sokucabanga ngohlangothi lothando lobuhlobo. iqiniso lethu lithatha isikhathi esiningi nomzamo.
Kodwa-ke, lo mkhuba uthi njengoba isahlukaniso sesibe yinto evamile futhi elula engadingi izinyathelo ezikhethekile, abantu abaningi banamuhla banomuzwa wokuthi umqondo onjengokuthi "ubaba" usuke waba yinto esedlule, futhi ngokujwayelekile, kungani ingane idinga?
Imibuzo enjalo ayizange iphakame engqondweni yamalungu omndeni wezinzalamizi, futhi kwacaca kuwo wonke umuntu ukuthi uyise wayenhloko. Isikhundla sezenhlalo nezenhlalakahle kayise senze indlela yomndeni - kungakanani isikhathi umama angayinika izingane, kudingeka basebenze, kukhona ithuba lokuthi izingane zifunde. Ukuqhubeka kulokhu, isimo sikababa emndenini ubulokhu sikhulu ngokwanele: ngemuva kwakho konke, wenza zonke izinqumo ezihlobene nenhlalakahle yomndeni, wachaza lo msebenzi kubantwana, wabhekana nezinkinga zomshado nomshado, okwathi ngezinye izikhathi kwaqedwa noma kusetshenziselwa ukudibanisa kwabahlakaniphile besifazane. Kodwa into eyinhloko ukuthi ubaba unquma isu, isiqondiso sokuphila nentuthuko yomndeni, nowesifazane - amacebo.
Abesifazane banamuhla bahlanganisa imisebenzi yomndeni kanye neyomsebenzi, ngakho-ke indima yamadoda emndenini ibhekene nakakhulu, ngokungafani nezikhathi zangaphambilini. Indoda isaletha imali engenayo emndenini, enye yesisindo sayo ayibalulekile kakhulu. Futhi ngalokhu kunomqondo wokuthi ubaba emndenini akayona nje into ebaluleke kakhulu, kodwa futhi ayidingi ngempela. Kweminye imibuthano yengqondo, kuye kwaba nemfashini ukuchaza ukuthi indoda iyasiza kuphela ukukhulelwa, kodwa njengesiyunithi sezenhlalo akusizi ngalutho.
Akekho ongabaza ukuthi kunesidingo sokuba umuntu azalwe, futhi njengendlebe nomvikeli womndeni, kodwa kude nomuntu wonke uyazi ukubaluleka kwethonya likababa ekukhuliseni ubuntu bomntwana. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukucabanga ngalokhu lapho abazali behamba. Ngakho-ke, sigcizelela ukuthi akekho ubaba osemncane, noma umkhulu, nanoma yisiphi esinye isihlobo esizothatha esikhundleni sikayise, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuhlobo buzokhula kanjani ngemuva kokuwa komndeni. Ubaba angase angahlanganyeli ekukhulisweni komntwana, kodwa kumele abe.
Uke wezwa ezindabeni ezingenangqondo zomntwana mayelana nokuhamba ngezinyawo, ukudoba, imisebenzi ehlukahlukene nobaba wakho, okwakungakaze kwenzeke, kodwa yikuphi ingane efuna ukubona kumzali ongenandaba? Lokhu kungasho into eyodwa kuphela: emphefumulweni womntwana ongenalwazi ngaso sonke isikhathi kukhona indawo kababa. Kungcono ingane uma iphiko lingathathi le ndawo.
Yiziphi izidingo ezingokomoya nezenhlalakahle zomntwana, okufanele athole kuyise?
Okokuqala, lokhu kuyisidingo sothando nokuvikelwa. Omunye wemithombo yokuphazamiseka kwezinzwa ezinganeni ukuntuleka kokuvikelwa ezweni langaphandle. Akuyona imfihlo kunoma ubani othanda ukuziqhenya ngontanga yakhe ngamandla, umsebenzi wakhe kababa, lokhu kuphakamisa isimo somntwana ngaphambi kwabaneminyaka eyodwa ubudala. Izingane zidinga ukuthi wonke umuntu abone ukuthi unesivikelo, ukuthi akayedwa kuleli zwe. Emaqenjini ezingane ezinonya, ukuba khona kukababa kunesimo esibaluleke kunokuba kube khona umama. Isimo sengqondo somntwana ezweni nakwezinye sincike ekuthandweni kothando olwamukelwe emndenini.
Esinye isidingo sinamandla. Emphakathini wesintu, njengasemphakathini wezilwane, kukhona ukukhanya kwepakethe, njengoba u-ethologist odumile uKonrad Lorenz ephawula. Lokhu kusho ukuthi kufanele kube khona umholi - igunya elibusayo. Naphezu kwemibono ephakanyisiwe, izingane azilwela ukuzimela nokukhululeka, ngoba zingakabi nesikhundla sokuzilahlekela zona ngokwabo; izingane zinesidingo sokuba othile avikele, anakekele, athathe umthwalo inhlalakahle yabo. Impikiswano enamandla kakhulu ezingxabanweni zezingane "Futhi ubaba uthi!"
Phakathi kwezinye izinto, ingane kufanele ibe nephethini yokuziphatha kokubili "kwesifazane" nokuziphatha "kwesibindi". Lesi yisidingo sabo. Uma unentombazane, uzama ukufana nomama. Kodwa umgomo oyinhloko wempumelelo yendodakazi yakho kuyoba ukuhlolwa kukababa, ngoba ubheka indlela ubaba aphathe ngayo umama nokuthi unakekela kangakanani. Lona ngumuntu wokuqala obalulekile empilweni yendodakazi yakho.
Uma indodana ikhulela emndenini, ibheka uyise futhi izama ukufana nayo, iphinde ibone ukubaluleka kokuthi kuhle kangakanani ukuba nomdlandla futhi nesibindi, ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo nokubona ukubaluleka nemiphumela yezenzo zomuntu. Ubuningi kufanele uthathe okubaluleke kakhulu futhi bunzima futhi uqaphele lokhu. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ingane ibukela umama wayo, ukuthi owesifazane angase abe buthakathaka, athathe izinqumo zikayise futhi angamlweli amandla, alalele indoda.
Enye indima ebalulekile kayise ekukhulisweni kwengane ukuthi ubaba angakwazi ukufunda ikusasa ngokwakhe kubaba, indlela ayithanda ngayo umama wakhe, nalapho ebuka unina, ubheka amehlo kayise. Uma ubaba ehamba emndenini, ingane ngeke isakwazi ukuqonda okunjalo umhlaba kanye naye, njengoba kungaba nobaba. Lokhu kungafaniswa ne-kaleidoscope, lapho kufanele kube khona izibuko ezintathu, kodwa into eyodwa ayitholakali futhi amabili kuphela ahlala. Kuzobe kusamnandi, kodwa amaphethini azoba lula futhi angathandeki kakhulu.