Indlela yokuqonda, ingabe kukhona namanje ithuba lokugcina ubuhlobo? Noma isisombululo esihle - kodwa ukuhlukanisa? Uma abantu behlala ndawonye isikhathi eside, le mibuzo ebuhlungu ayinaso neze. Ake sizame ukuthola impendulo kubo.
Njengemikhuba yokubonisa, ngezinye izikhathi esetshenziselwa amacala anjalo, indlela yokuqonda ubuhlobo bakho - thatha iphepha, ulidwebe bese uloba ngakwesokunene konke okuhle, futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi - konke okubi, futhi emva kwalokhu ukubona ukuthi kuzokwenzekani - akusizi, ngoba inkumbulo yethu ikhetha ngokukhetha lezo zimpikiswano ezibekwe isimo sengqondo sokukhungatheka, intukuthelo, impindiselo noma ukudabuka.
Kuphumelela kakhulu ukuhlaziya ubudlelwane bakho ngosizo lwezinqubo ezikhethwe ngokukhethekile ngabahlengikazi bezengqondo kanye nabama-psychotherapists. Uma kuningi lezinqubo ezingezansi ubuhlobo buphukile, khona-ke ungacabanga ngokuhlukana.
1. Ukuphila hhayi ngenxa yakhe
Ukuzimisela okwanele "ukuphila impilo yomlingani." Umqondo wokulungela okunjalo isimo sengqondo ngobuhlobo obude, obuqinile. Uma, ngokuphambene nalokho, lo mlingani uhlale ekhuluma ngokuhlukanisa, ethatha izinqumo ezibalulekile ezithinta ikusasa lakhe ndawonye (isibonelo, ukushintsha umsebenzi), uma engacabangi izithakazelo zomlingani, umuntu onjalo akanakulungele ukufaka empilweni yakhe yomlingani wakhe kanye naye ukuba afakwe ekuphileni kwakhe.
2. Ungagcini lezi zithembiso
Omunye umgomo wokulungela "ukuba omunye nomlingani" ugcwalisa izithembiso ezenziwe - kokubili ezinkulu nezincane.
3. Hlela ukungabonisi naye
Ngezinye izikhathi umuntu akaqapheli ukuthi ulungiselela ukubhubhisa ubudlelwane nomlingani. Lokhu kungaboniswa yizinqumo ezenziwe kanye nezinhlelo lapho umlingani enganikezelwa khona. Isibonelo, omunye wabalingani usezikhulumweni mayelana nokushintsha imisebenzi, edlulela kwelinye idolobha, elungiselela uhambo ngaphandle kokunikezela umngane wakhe kulokhu. Konke lokhu kungase kube yisibonakaliso sokuthi omunye wabalingani uye waqonda ngokungazi ukuthi uhlukanisile.
4. Ungabi nhlonipho
Ukungabi nenhlonipho kungabonakalisa ngezindlela ezahlukene. Isibonelo, kunabantu abakholelwa ukuthi umlingani udinga ukuvuswa kuqala, ngokulungisa lokho abazali bakhe abazange bakwenze. Bahlale bethinta futhi balungise lo mlingani ("ungakhulumi kakhulu efonini"), umenzele izinqumo ("nginibhalele esigabeni ngoba unamafutha kakhulu"), umbeka umbono wakhe wenjabulo futhi umqhubekele ezenzweni ezifanele ( "kudingeka ufunde izifundo ze-psychotherapy"). Abanye abantu babonisa ukuthi abalingani babo abahloniphi amakhono akhe engqondo ("ngeke nikuqonde lokhu"), ungabazeki ngamakhono akhe ("ake ngenze lokhu ngokwami, ukwenze kancane kancane"), ungamhloniphi okuthandwa ngumlingani ("like ungalalela lolu hlobo lomculo ").
5. Yehlisa inhlonipho
Ngokungafani nomgogodla wangaphambili, isimo sengqondo sokuhlonipha kuqala ngomlingani singashintsha ngesikhathi. Kungenzeka yini ukuhlonipha indoda ephuzwa njalo futhi engazi ukuthi yenzani? Kungenzeka yini ukuhlonipha umuntu ongakwazi ukulawula izifiso zakhe? Kungenzeka yini ukuhlonipha indoda ehlisa izandla ngezindlela ezincane kakhulu, ilahlekelwe yizintambo? Kunzima ukuhlonipha umuntu omncane, lowo ongaqapheli ukuthatha umthwalo wempilo yakhe. Inhlonipho elahlekile yomlingani akulula ukuyivuselela, futhi ngaphandle kokuhloniphana kunzima ukwakha ubudlelwane.
6. Ubudlelwane buxoshwa ngemuva
Uma ubuhlobo bengabekwa kuqala, lapho umsebenzi, izingane, abazali, izibopho kwabanye abantu zibaluleke kakhulu kunezifiso nezidingo zomlingani - ngakho akudingeki ukuthi ukhulume ngobuqotho phakathi kwabalingani.
7. Ukuzwa kokungaqiniseki nokuntuleka kwenkululeko
Ingabe uzizwa ukhululekile futhi uqiniseka nomlingani wakho? Ungakwazi yini ukuveza umbono wakho kuye ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuthi uzokulinganisa emva kwalokhu nomhlaba? Ungayibonisa yini ukucasula kwakho ngaphandle kokwesaba ukusabela kwakhe? Ungaya emcimbini, uhlangane nabangane, usebenzise ukuzilibazisa kwakho? Uma lo mlingani ekhononda, ekhubeka, ethukuthele, ethukuthele, akukho ukuqiniseka nokukhululeka ebuhlotsheni bakho.
8. Izingxabano eziyinhloko empilweni yokuphila
Uma omunye wabalingani engumuntu ohlala ekhaya, futhi omunye uthanda ukuchitha isikhathi enkampanini enomsindo, ngakho ngenxa yalokhu, kungaba khona izingxabano nokuphikisana njalo. Kodwa lokhu akuholeli ekubhujisweni kobuhlobo. Kukhona njalo ukukhishwa okungenzeka kunokwenzeka. Kungenye indaba uma abalingani benemisebenzi ehluke kakhulu yokuphila. Isibonelo, uma omunye wabalingani efuna ukuba nezingane kanti omunye akwenzi; noma uma umyeni ecabanga ukuthi umkakhe kufanele alahlekelwe umsebenzi futhi azizinikezele ekhaya nasezingane, futhi umfazi akavumelani nalokhu, umahluko obunjalo obunzima obangela ubuhlobo obukhulu kakhulu.
9. Ukungabi nokuvamile
Uma abalingani bengenalo okufanayo ngaphandle kokukhathazeka okuhlangene mayelana nezingane, umbono wokuhlala ndawonye unzima kakhulu. Ngokuphambene nalokho, uma, ngaphandle kwezingane ezijwayelekile zabalingani, umsebenzi ohlangene uhlotshaniswa nemidlalo, abangane abavamile, izithakazelo ezihlanganyelwe noma, isibonelo, isithakazelo kwezombusazwe, zixhunywe into enkulu kunomcindezelo wangaphandle kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo.
10. Ukuhlukaniswa ngokomzimba kanye nebanga
Uma abalingani bengasafuni ukuthintana, babambisane ngesandla, noma omunye uphazamise omunye, futhi angamunaki ngisho nomnandi womlingani (khumbula inkulumo ethi "Angikwazi ukuma umoya"), lokhu kuyisibonakaliso okudingeka uyingxenye.
Uma ngabe kunamaphuzu amaningi okudweba uzoba nempendulo engalungile, kufanele ucabange ngokujulile ngokuphumelela kokuqhubeka nobuhlobo. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo esibi, kufanele uzibuze futhi: "Yini engizenzile, yini esiyenzile ukuze silondoloze ubuhlobo bethu?" Ngenzeni ukuhlala? "