Abesifazane kulula kakhulu. Ukuhlakanipha kukaMama kuvela emvelweni. Lapho ebona umntwana, abesifazane abaningi banomuzwa wokuthandana nomthokozo. Kodwa akuwona wonke umuntu olungele ubaba. Ungakhubeki noma ukukhononda ngothandekayo wakho, uma engazizwa imizwa efanayo. Ake sihlole le nkinga ngokuningiliziwe.
Ukuqonda kanjani ukuthi umuntu ulungele ukuba nomntwana? Yeka, akulula ukunikeza impendulo yalo mbuzo. Ake sibheke lesi sihloko "kusuka okuphambene". Kungani umuntu engakalungele ukuzalwa kwengane.
Manje kuncane kakhulu ukuhlangabezana nomuntu oneminyaka engaphansi kwengu-25 oye wathola umndeni kanye nokuzalwa. Amadoda ngokwawo achaza lokhu ngokuthi bangakalungiseleli lesi sinyathelo esibalulekile, ukuthi badinga ukuhamba ngezinyawo, bacabange ngomsebenzi. Futhi ngokujwayelekile, umntwana angaphazamisa indlela evamile yokuphila, futhi angakabi nesikhathi sokuziphilela.
Ucwaningo lwakamuva lubonise ukuthi kungcono ukuthi amadoda abe nezingane ekukhuleni. Lokhu akugcini nje ngokufakazela ekuqapheliseni okukhulu komzwelo womuntu, kodwa futhi kuthinta impilo yengane. Ososayensi baye bafakazela ukuthi indoda evuthiwe inamathuba amaningi okukhiqiza ingane enempilo kunomfana osemusha.
Amanye amadoda athi abathandi izingane. Izazi zengqondo zithi le nkulumo ingenxa yokuthi lapho esemncane, wayengathandwa. Futhi ngenkathi le mpikiswano yangaphakathi ekhona, i-instinct kayise ayifiki.
Ukwesaba ukungabi mahhala nakho kuyathinta isimo sengqondo ngokuqondene nengane. Phela, ukuzalwa kwengane kuhlanganisa umthwalo omkhulu kubo bobabili abazali.
Izazi zengqondo zathola ukuthi elinye iqiniso lokungazilungiseleli komuntu ngothando. Yebo, abesifazane abathandekayo. Uhawukela ingane. Emva kwakho konke, ngaphambi kokufika kwengane, wakhokhela wonke umuntu. Ukwesaba ukuthi kuzodingeka uhlanganyele nomunye umuntu, ngisho nangomntwana wakho, akuvumeli indoda ukuba ijabulele ngokugcwele uyise.
Ezinye izazi ze-psychologists zikholelwa ukuthi uma umuntu engakakulungeli ukuba nengane, akaqiniseki ukuthi lo wesifazane wakhe. Ngokuvamile ungazwa inkulumo ethi "ake silinde", "ake sihlele", okuyinto enzima abesifazane ukuba bangayithathi i-akhawunti yabo.
Iqiniso elithakazelisayo ukuthi amadoda angaphezu kwalokho thina besifazane sikhathazekile ngobuhle bethu nokuheha. Ukwesaba ukuthi emva kokuzalwa kobuhle bokuqala ngeke kube khona ukulandelela, futhi kushushisa la madoda. Akumangalisi ukuthi kukhona umbono wokuthi indoda kufanele ihlakaniphe, futhi owesifazane kufanele abe mnandi.
Yiqiniso, ungacabangi ukuthi amadoda akafuni izingane nhlobo. Futhi ake sithathe umqondo wokukhulelwa okufake eceleni. Emva kwakho konke, kunezinye izimo lapho umuntu ehlukumezela kakhulu ilungelo lokuzalwa, futhi umkakhe othandekayo uyamphendula ngemishwana "engakulungele," "umsebenzi wokuqala, ke izingane," "Ngisemncane kakhulu," njll.
Kubalulekile ukucabangela umbuzo, kodwa kubalulekile ukuhlela ngokucacile ingane.
Ngempela, into ebaluleke kakhulu isifiso esiqotho sokuba nomntwana. Ngisho nangesikhathi sokukhulelwa, ungenza okuningi: ukuqeda ukuqeqeshwa, ukuthuthukisa inhlalakahle yempilo, ukuthuthukisa impilo. Akumangalisi ukuthi izingane zibhekwa njengezikhuthazo ezinhle zokuphila okungcono.
Kungenzeka yini ukuba ucabange ukuphila okujabulisayo nokwanelisayo ngaphandle kwengane? Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi phansi kwenhliziyo yakho indoda yakho imelela indlela edlala ngayo nendodana yakhe encane noma ixosha inceku ecasulayo evela endodaneni yakhe encane. Wena nje udinga ukuthola isibindi nokubekezela futhi uchaze ukuthi unengane nje ukwesaba nokwenza umthwalo, kodwa futhi ujabule kakhulu.