Ngokuvamile izingane zidinga iseluleko somzali, kodwa azikwazi ukuthola ngenxa yokuqashwa kwabantu abadala. Kamuva bangase baqale ukwesaba isijeziso noma ukuhlekwa usulu. Funda kabanzi ngalokhu "okungavamile" kodwa inkinga enkulu kakhulu emphakathini wanamuhla ngezansi.
Okuyinhloko yengane yedwa
Izingane ezisuka ezintandane ezisuka ebuntwaneni azikhalazi futhi azikhala. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi akekho ophendulayo ekulileni nasekulileni, futhi azange asetshenziselwe ukunikeza isignali ngokungahambi kahle ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo. Ingane enjalo kusukela ezinsukwini zokuqala zokuphila isetshenziselwa isizungu, futhi noma kamuva ifika emndenini, ngeke kube lula ukubhekana nalokhu. Ingane enjalo ayidingi kakhulu - ayizizwa isidingo esikhethekile sothando lomunye umuntu, ngoba akayitholanga. Yena ngokwakhe akazi ukuthi kanjani, akafuni futhi wesaba ukuthanda nokunamathela komunye umuntu.
Uma ingane ikhulela emndenini, okokuqala akazizwa ehlala enesizungu, njengoba unina ephendula ngokukhala kwakhe, uyamondla, uyamxosha ukuze amthulise. Kodwa umuntu omncane kancane kancane uqala, futhi ingane iqala ukulalela kaningi, ukuthi abazali ngaso sonke isikhathi ayifuni kuye, ukuthi kusukela kuye naye kaningi baxoshwa. Ekuqaleni kumane nje kummangele ingane, bese ezama ukuheha ukunakekelwa kwabazali ngokuziqhenya noma ukulalela, ngakho-ke, uma kungekho mphumela, ukuziphatha okubi.
Uma sikhuluma ngeminyaka engaphambi kokuguquka, izingane zivame ukuzwa unesizungu, ukungabikho ukunakekelwa nokuthandwa, ikakhulukazi ezinzima lapho uneminyaka engama-5-6 (emva kwesikole, esikoleni, abangane abasha, futhi lokhu kuzosusa kancane kancane le nkinga). Omdala lo mntwana uba, kancane kancane uqala ukwethemba izihlobo zakhe, njengoba ebona ukuthi uma bengakuthandi noma bengakuthandi ngokwanele, ngeke bakunikeze iseluleko esizohamba kahle. Lezi yizona zizathu eziyinhloko zesizungu sezingane zale minyaka. Kodwa-ke, kukhona nenye into enhle kule nqubo, futhi iqukethe ukuthi ingane iqala ukuzimela nokuzimela, ifuna ukuxazulula izinkinga zayo (nakuba ukuzimela kungatholakala ngenye indlela - lapho ingane iqhosha ngokuthembela kwabazali). Ukuzimela ngokweqile ukuzethemba kungabangela imiphumela emibi kunazo zonke yedwa - ukulutha izidakamizwa nokuphuza utshwala. Uma nje umuntu ebonisa ukunakekelwa kwengane eyodwa, angakwazi ukuwela kalula ngaphansi kwethonya lomunye umuntu (kahle, uma lihle) futhi aze abe yisisulu somonakalo.
Sonke sidinga omunye nomunye
Isidingo sokuba neontanga ekukhulumisaneni sakhiwa yiminyaka engu-4-5 ubudala. Abantu abaningi abadala abanokungabaza ngobuhlobo bomntwana: bathi lokhu akuyona into embi. Futhi ngempela, kuze kube yilapho izingane ezineminyaka engaba ngu-9 zivame ukuba neontanga ngenxa yesifiso sokudlala ndawonye, zijabulise. Kodwa ekukhuleni, kunesifiso sokuqinisekisa ukuthi ungubani, ukuzwa igunya labo. Ku-12 nangaphezulu, umngane owazi ukulalela, ukuqonda, ukweluleka, uba uhlobo lwe-psychotherapist. Ilingana nabangane obalulekile futhi abadingekile lapho bekhula. Kuthengiswe noma kubonwe ku-movie, ukulungiswa komuntu omdala akufinyeleleki, abadala abadala bangenakuqondakala futhi banomatasa, ngaphandle kwalokho kukhona ibanga lokukhulumisana futhi kaningi kunenkinga yokuzethemba, nabangane nempumelelo yabo - nangu. Ngenxa yalokho, imibono yabangane ithola inani eliphakeme ngokungenakulinganiswa kwentsha kunomntwana wezolo. Kusho okuningi kunombono ngisho nabantu abaseduze kakhulu futhi abagunyazayo kubazali abasebasha.
Kungani abangane besifazane?
Amandla okusiza (okokuqala), ukuhleka kwehlazo, ulwazi nokuxhasana kwezintshisekelo, ingqondo, impumelelo yemidlalo, ubudala kanye nokukhangisa kokubukeka, ukuzimela, isibindi. Uma umngane ebonisa ukungabi nalutho, intombazane ingasheshe ithole umphefumulo omusha oseduze ukuze ususe isizungu somntwana wakhe. Kulokhu, ukuhlukana ngokuphelele kobudlelwane nomngane wangaphambili "omuhle" noma ukuhlukana kancane kancane kungenzeka. Ukuphakamisa ukuzethemba komuntu osemusha, ngokushesha uzoyeka ukubekezelela ukunganaki nokungaphumeleli kwabangani bakhe "bosifuba" (izobheka, ingane eyaziwayo ayiqapheli ukukhula kwayo). Kodwa ingane enezinkimbinkimbi ingakwazi ukubekezelela ngisho nokuhlekwa okungenangqondo kwe "abangane" ngokwesaba ukuhlala yedwa.
Ngokuvamisekile, la madoda ahlangana ndawonye nezithakazelo ezivamile futhi ebheka impilo, kodwa intsha ehlukile kakhulu kumlingani ingabuye ibe abangane. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, bangakwazi ukufunana lezo zimfanelo (ukuzibandakanya noma ukuzethemba kanye nokwahlulela) bona bona ngokwabo abakwazi ukuzithuthukisa. Ukungabi nabangane kwengane kungakhuluma ngezinkinga ezinkulu ezingokomzwelo. Kungenzeka ukuthi izizathu zokuzungulelwa akuzona ukuthi ulahla umjikelezo ohlongozwayo wokuxhumana, kodwa ukuthi abafana ngesinye isizathu noma omunye bayenqaba ingane. Ngokuvamile abafuni ukuba abangane futhi baxhumane nabantwana abangaphephile, abathintekayo, ababuhlungu noma abanamahloni. Futhi futhi unonya, uzidla noma awukhathaleli izindaba zeqembu. Umfana onjalo osemusha, ngemuva kokuba esehlukanisiwe, uzizwa engaphephile futhi enganaki ukusekelwa, ikakhulukazi njengoba intsha ingabonisa ukuhlukumezeka ngisho nokuhlukunyezwa "kumuntu okhishiwe" ongeyona ingxenye yenkampani yabo ehlukile kubo. Lokhu kungathinta ukuzethemba komuntu osemusha, uhlamvu lwakhe nokuphila esikhathini esizayo, ngoba ukuthuthukiswa kwamakhono okuxhumana kanye nokukwazi ukuhambisana nabantu, futhi okuhlukile, kanye nokukwazi ukuvikela umbono womuntu kuyadingeka kuwo wonke umuntu ohlala phakathi kwabantu.