"Yeka ukugoqa ikhola. Abantu sebevele bebukele. Ingabe ufuna wonke umuntu akuhleke noma enze ngenhloso ukuze angenze ngihawukele? "- Ngesinye isikhathi, unina wesilwane oneminyaka emihlanu uSlava ujezisa. "Angifuni," ukuthuthumela ikhanda lakhe, "hhayi ngokuqondile, angithinti nhlobo, yena ngokwakhe uthola emlonyeni wami ngandlela-thile." Ukucasuka kukaMama kukhulu nakakhulu, kodwa ... indodana ilungile. Konke kwenzeka ngempela ngaphandle kwentando yakhe. Lona umehluko omkhulu phakathi kokuzikhukhumezeka nomkhuba omubi. Uma ingane ingasusi amathoyizi akhe noma, ngokuphambene, ithanda ukuthi konke kuhlale kugxilwe emabhokisini, kuwumkhuba (lapho umuntu engenza okungenjalo, kodwa ukhetha ngaleyo ndlela). Futhi uma ehlamba izinzipho zakhe, ephunga izinwele zakhe, egoqa noma egoqa amazinyo, efaka isikhumba ezandleni zakhe noma ezinyaweni, ehlaba umlomo wakhe, futhi akwenze njalo izikhathi eziningi - lokhu kuvinjelwa. Ukhuluma ngokwanele emazwini futhi ngisho yena uyaqonda ukuthi akudingekile ukwenza kanjalo, kodwa uyaqhubeka futhi akawulawuli umzuzu lapho eqala. Izenzo zokuqapha (ukucindezelwa) zingahluka kakhulu. Lena oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala akakwazanga ukumelana uma ebona isitshalo esiseduzane: wayezothatha ucezu lwephepha, alifake ephaketheni lakhe futhi, ngaphandle kokuthatha izandla zakhe, angaliqothula zibe izingxenye ezincane ezincane. Ukuvimbela, izinkolelo ukuthi izitshalo kufanele zithande futhi zivikelwe, azisebenzi. Khona-ke ugogo wakhe wanquma ukushintsha amaqhinga akhe futhi, lapho ephinde aphinde athole indawo encane eluhlaza, wamemeza ngesibindi: "Ingabe uchithe le mbali? Kodwa unobuthi, futhi manje ungagula! Izitshalo eziningi ziyingozi empilweni! ". Le ndlela yayisebenza - Lena wayethukile waze wakhala. Wayeka ukukha izimbali, kodwa waqala ukukhetha impumulo yakhe. Isimo esikhethekile sokuphelelwa yisikhathi yi-tic nervous. Zihamba ngezimoto ezihambisana nokuchotshozeka okungahambisani nokuzibandakanya kwemisipha ebusweni, izitho (ukuchofoza, izihlathi, ukuhlwitha, ukuhlukumezeka) nokuzwakala (ukukhwehlela, ukushaya, ukushaya). I-Tiki iyanyamalala ngokusobala, uma ingane ihlanganyela emisebenzini ethile ethakazelisayo, ethakazelisayo, iphinde iqale lapho ingane iba intukuthelo noma ngesikhathi sokuhlangenwe nakho okungathandeki. La ma-tic ahluke ekuhlukunyekeni kwemisipha ezinkingeni zezinzwa.
Konke kwaqala kanjani?
Ngokujwayelekile abazali abakwazi ukuphendula lo mbuzo. Akukho ukucindezeleka okuphawulekayo. Kwakukhona izinkinga zomndeni - futhi unyaka wonke udlulile. Kodwa izenzakalo zesikhathi esidala futhi ezibonakala ziphila kahle zingabangela imbangela yokuphoqa. Abantwana kaningi abanalo ithuba lokubhekana nokucindezeleka, abantu abadala bavame ukucabanga: "Omncanyana akasaqondi lutho. Futhi akukhathaleli ngempela ngokubuyisela ukuthula kwengqondo. "Sinehlukaniso esinzima kakhulu. Wandulela ukuhlubuka, ukuphikisana, ukushiya ekhaya ngisho nokushaya. Futhi sanquma: vumela indodakazi ihlale nogogo kuze kube yilapho sesiyiqaphela. Washiya izinyanga eziyisithupha. Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi, nginomuzwa wokuthi into ethile emqaleni wayo inamathele, ngokuvamile uyenza umsindo onjengokukhahlela. Ucwaningo lubonise ukuthi konke kuhambisane, kepha lokhu kuzwakale. " Izingane zizwela kakhulu imizwelo yabantu abadala nokuthi kwenzekani emndenini. Ngisho noma abazali bengaphikisani nakancane ("Hamba, sizobe sesixoxa"), izingane zizwa sengathi kukhona okungalungile. Ukukhathazeka kwengane encane kulesi simo akunakulinganiswa. Kuye, izwe liyehla lapho ehlangabezana nezinguquko ezimbi. Yiqiniso, uma okwamanje ukumbamba, ukucindezela, ukukhuluma nokuqinisekisa ukuthi konke kuyoba kuhle, khona-ke ukucindezeleka ngeke kube nzima kakhulu ukukhuthazela. Kodwa ngalesi sikhathi ukuthi abantu abadala abangekho nakancane kubantwana. Futhi-ke ingane ingase ibe nama-tic - njengesifiso esingenasidingo sokuheha kanye nesidingo sokukhuluma. Bangaphumelela ngokuphepha ngokushesha uma isimo sesivamile, kodwa bangahlala iminyaka eminingi. "Qala" ukuhlukunyezwa akunakwenzeka kuphela emndenini. Uthisha oqinile uthisha we-enkulisa, ukugula isikhathi eside, ukuhlukunyezwa, izimo ezenza ukwesaba emgwaqeni, ngesikhathi sokuhlangana okukhulu kwabantu emisebenzini yokuzilibazisa. "Ngisemncane, nganginamathele ku-elevator. Ngikhumbula, wayesaba kakhulu - ikakhulukazi njengoba umama engavumele umuntu ukuba angene ku-elevator. Kwaphela isikhathi esimazeze, wabe eseqala ukubeka izingcindezi kuzo zonke izinkinobho, ke - ukuzuma. Kulo mzuzwana kanye lo ohamba wahamba. Kwaphela isikhathi eside, uma kukhona okwangenza ngesabe ezimweni ezinzima, ngathuthuka ngithule noma ngimi ngasese esikoleni, ngisho nasesikoleni. Ngangazi ukuthi kwakuyisiphukuphuku, kodwa angikwazi ukuwuthola. Kuze ngize ngigxume - ngeke ngithule. " Ukunciphisa okunjalo - ngendlela yama-ritual - ngokuvamile kwenzeka kamuva, kusukela eminyakeni engaba ngu-6. Kusukela emikhawulweni abahlukaniswa "nokuqonda okukhulu", ukulungiswa. Kodwa kokubili kunesizathu esisodwa - ukukhathazeka kwangaphakathi, ukungezwani.
Izinkinga ezengeziwe
Njengomthetho, le nkinga ayikhawulelwanga ezenzweni ezimbi. Abazali babone ezinye izimpawu ezingathandeki. Isibonelo, izinkinga zokulala. Ingane ayikwazi ukulala isikhathi eside, ivuka phakathi nobusuku, ingavuka ekuseni kakhulu, bese usuku lonke luzwa lukhuni. Futhi naye kanye nomndeni wonke - emva kwakho konke, iphupho lomntwana libe yinkinga yonke. Enye inkinga kubantwana abanezinkinga eziguquguqukayo kukhona isimo sengqondo esishintshayo. I-Whims ngaphandle kwesizathu, ukucasula, ukukhala izinyembezi ezinganeni ezinjalo kuvamise futhi kubangele abazali nabafundisi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukwesaba nokwesaba okukhulu. Ingane ikhathazekile kakhulu emhlabeni jikelele, njengokungathi ilinde okubi, ayikho inchalance engokwemvelo. Ngaphandle, izingane ezine-obsessions zingahle zibukeke ziphilile, kodwa zijwayele ukuzulazula, azibekezelele ukuhamba, izinto, zitheleke kusukela kokubili imisebenzi yokuziqhenya nemiboniso ekhanyayo. Ngokuvamile zithinta futhi ziba nomcabango ocacile.
Iqembu eliyingozi
Izingane eziningi zihlala ezimweni ezilinganayo. Wonke umuntu uzwa ulwazi olufanayo, wonke umuntu ahlangabezane nezikhathi ezinhle kuphela ekuphileni kwabazali babo. Kodwa ukuphelelwa yisikhathi akuvuki konke. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngisho nangemva kokubhekana nokucindezeleka okufanayo, ukubhekana nesimo esisodwa esibuhlungu, izingane zizosabela ngendlela engavamile: eyodwa izokhohlwa ngenyanga, kanti enye kuyoba nomthombo oqhubekayo wokukhathazeka kanye nezenzo zokuziphatha okuzenzekelayo. Yini ethinta lokhu? Okokuqala, izici zobumnene nomlingiswa. Uhlobo oluthile lwesistimu yezinzwa luba nomngcele ophansi wokuzwela - isibonelo, kuthinteka kakhulu ngomsindo, ukukhanya okukhanyayo, amazwi aphezulu. Izingane ezinjalo ziyaqhubeka zengozi. Okwesibili, inzalo iyabaluleke kakhulu. Cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi, okungenani umzali oyedwa uyakhumbula ukuthi yena ngokwakhe uhlangabezane nokuthile okunjalo ebuntwaneni, wayekhathazekile ngokuziqhenya. Thina, ngandlela-thile, sizuze izici zesimiso sezinzwa zabazali. Kodwa abazali bangakwazi ukudlulisela ukwesaba kwabo izingane ngokungazi. Isibonelo, umama, obhekene nokukhathazeka ezindaweni ezivaliwe, engaqiniseki kahle isandla somntwana lapho engena esikhwameni. Uthinta isandla esisodwa nomunye (futhi futhi ngaphandle kokungazi), ubheka ngokujulile iminyango yekhabhinethi aze avule. Akudingeki ukuthi athi uyesaba - kunoma yikuphi ubudala lo mgogo uzokuqonda ngokushesha lokhu ngaphandle kwamagama. Isici sesithathu ekuthuthukiseni ukuxoshwa yizici zokukhuliswa futhi, ngokujwayelekile, isimo somndeni. Futhi engxenyeni engozini, bobabili abangenaki (hypoopeak), nalabo abazali abazitholi ithuba lokuphefumula ngokuzimela. Umkhathi opholile womndeni, lapho kubonakala sengathi unakekelwa, kodwa ungekho imizwa efudumele, futhi kuyingozi. Abazali bathi: "Yebo, asiphakamisi amazwi ethu kulo, yiziphi izingcindezi ezingase zibe khona," kodwa bengazi ukuthi lokhu kungenzeka ukucindezeleka okukhulu. Ukuze sizizwe sithandwa, kudingeka sibone isithakazelo esisheshayo. Ukunakekelwa okuvamile kuyaphazanyisa, kubangela umuzwa wokuphoqeleka, ukungabi nothando. Futhi, ekugcineni, isici sokugcina (ngokuhlelekile, kodwa hhayi ekubalukeni) yizehlakalo ezimbi. Ngisho nengane enamandla ngohlobo lwesimiso sezinzwa ingalimala ngenxa yokucindezeleka okukhulu.
Usizo
Ngokuvamile abazali ngokwabo ngokuzithandela isinyathelo kubhekwa njengenkinga futhi balwa nalo. Futhi lokhu kuyiphutha elikhulu. Kudingeka ucabange ngesimo somntwana wonke, ungafaki izici ezivusa amadlingozi, ulungise impilo yakhe. Nakuba umsebenzi uqala ngokuvakashela isazi sezinzwa zegazi: ngezinye izikhathi izenzo ezikhungathekile zingaba uphawu lwesifo, kungenziwa kuphela udokotela. Ukuthukuthela kwakho, isimo sengqondo esibi sizokwenza ukuthi inkinga ingene. "Yebo, bangaki abangakwazi! Amaqhawe okubheka akusikho! "- gwema uma ufuna ukusho into enjengaleyo, futhi uma uzizwa sengathi ucasuliwe, shiya ekamelweni futhi ungaboni (ungalaleli). Uma ingane eneminyaka enjalo ukuthi yena ngokwakhe angaphatha ngokucophelela ukuziphatha kwakhe, ke ungayisebenzisi (amahloni, uqinisekise ukuthi "abantu babukela"). Ngokuphambene nalokho - khombisa ukuthi akukho lutho olubi kulokhu, ukuthi abantu banezinkinga ezihluke kakhulu. Lokhu ngeke kwandise ukubonakaliswa kwezinyathelo ezishisayo, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, kuzonciphisa. Emva kwakho konke, ngezinye izikhathi ukuphoqa (ikakhulukazi imikhaza), ukwesaba ukulinda ("Ngingakuqala kanjani ukwenza lokhu enkulisa, emgwaqweni") kuphazanyisa futhi kubangele ukuqhuma okusha kwama-tics. Kunombuthano ononya. Isimo esibalulekile sokuphulukiswa ukuxhumana nengane. Mnake nganoma iyiphi indlela: udlale imidlalo ndawonye, uhilele emisebenzini yasendlini, udwebe, ufunde, udlale ngaphandle ngaphandle kokubamba, uhlezi eduze komunye nomunye uma ubheka i-TV. Kulula kangaka, kodwa ngokuvamile lolu hlobo lwe-psychotherapy lusebenza kakhulu.
Khumbula ukuthi abafana bakhathazekile futhi bavame ukuhlukunyezwa (cishe izikhathi ezintathu) kunamantombazane, nakuba kungase kubonakale sengathi konke okuphambene nalokho. Amantombazane nje avame ukuveza izinkathazo, ukwesaba, ukukhala kaningi, futhi abafana bafihliwe kusukela ebuntwaneni. Ngakho abafana badinga konke lokhu "ukufutheka" hhayi okungenani - ukubenza baqede ama-tics ngamandla amandla ("Ungumuntu!") Noma kunjalo ngeke isebenze. Imisebenzi ewusizo futhi ekhethekile. Isibonelo, umdwebo ohlangene nabazali, nezinye izingane kuzokhuthaza ukuthuthukiswa kwamakhono okuxhumana, ukunciphisa ukwesaba ekukhulumisaneni. Noma ukwakheka kwezinganekwane, lapho umntwana eqhubeka indaba eqale ngawe, eveza imicabango yakhe kuyo. Uma le ndaba iba yinto enzima kakhulu, uyitshela inguqulo yakho, lapho, ngokuqinisekile, yonke into iphelile kahle. Usiza kahle ezemidlalo kanye nokusebenza kwezemoto jikelele kunoma yiluphi uhlobo. Ngisho noma nje udlala i-snowballs noma uhlela izimpi ngemisamo, lokhu kunomthelela omuhle esimweni sengqondo - kusiza ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka, kwandisa ukuzethemba. Imidlalo "eyiqiniso" - ukubhukuda, i-athletics, ukudweba ngezibalo nokunye-kuqondwa yizingane ngezindlela ezahlukene (kuxhomeke kumqeqeshi nangokwezinga lemithwalo), ngakho-ke kuwukuthi umuntu ngamunye angakhetha. Futhi-ke, into esemqoka yindawo yomndeni. Injabulo eyengeziwe, imizwelo emihle, ukusekelwa nokubandakanyeka komuntu nomunye komunye nomunye endlini, kungcono ukuthi ingane ibe nenempilo futhi igxile emqondweni.