Kuphela imibhangqwana emisha esanda kumiswa ayifuni ngisho nokusola ukuthi bayalinda, bayabona ukuthi le nyunyana iyindlela yokuhlola, bazizwa belinganisela emnyangweni. Kodwa ngisho nasezimpini eziphumelelayo, umzuzwana ufika lapho wonke umuntu ezama ukuhumusha ubuhlobo bakhe obuhle, futhi izinkinga zokuqala ebuhlotsheni ziyaqala.
Noma kunjalo, kuyathakazelisa kakhulu, kungani kwenzeka futhi njalo kwenzeka lapho ubudlelwane nobuhlobo bubumnyama neminyaka yokuphila okuhlangene. Kodwa uma sonke sihlala sikhokhele njalo futhi sihlale sikhokhele isikhathi, sibheke umlingani wethu, khona-ke ubuhlobo buyokhula futhi buhlale buphuthumayo.
Ngakho-ke, kungani kungavumelani ebuhlotsheni, ikakhulukazi okokuqala okuqinile:
- ngokuvamile, kuvela, ukunikeza ukunakekelwa okwanele, isikhathi kubathandekayo bakhe, ukuqhubeka nokuqinisa nokwakha konke ubuhlobo obuguga emndenini.
- ngokuvamile, ukuwohloka kobudlelwane babesilisa nabesifazane, bahlezi ohlelweni, bebekwe kusukela ebuntwaneni, abazali.
Phela, uma sitshelwa ukuthi emndenini ubudlelwane bomndeni kuthatha ukubekezela okukhulu, ukuchitha umzamo omkhulu ekuqondeni, ukuhlonipha umlingani, ngokuvamile siwunqaba.
Kubonakala kithi ukuthi konke kuqhubeka njengenjwayelo, nokuthi yonke into yenziwa ngokwayo. Kodwa ingabe kunjalo?
- iqiniso eliyinhloko lihlala likhona ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuba ukhethe umlingani ngokucophelela, ubone ukwehluleka kwakhe nezihlonipho, futhi uthathe njengabakhe, ngaphandle kokuhlukaniswa, ngokuphelele.
- kudingeka nje ufunde ukuthethelelana, hhayi ngisho nje ukuvumelana, kodwa ukuqonda, nokuthembela kumuntu, ukuthembela kuye, ukwazi ukuzibonela ngaphandle.
- kudingekile ukuthi ufunde ukulalela, uzwe umlingani wakho, uphathe konke ngokuqonda, ungakwenqabeli, ngisho uvumele ukuthi kubonakale kungenalutho.
- Ungabeki umgomo wakho wokuphila, shiya isikhala senkululeko. Phela, akekho ofuna ukulawulwa nokulawulwa impilo yakhe. Umuntu uyinkosi yakhe siqu.
- kuhlale kudingekile ukusekela, kanti-ke ndawonye ndawonye ukuya komgomo owodwa ovamile.
- futhi ekugcineni, kungenzeka ukuthi angagxeki, kodwa kunengqondo ukukwazisa ukuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani, ngaphandle kwemizwa emihle, ngokuthula nangenhlonipho, ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga ebuhlotsheni bomuntu nowesifazane.
Emshadweni, akudingekile ukuthi uzizwe nje ungumunye womunye nomunye, kodwa futhi uzizwe uzizwe wena nomlingani wakho konke. Ubuhlobo obujabulisayo bube khona kuphela uma kubuyela ngokugcwele, ukuqonda ukuvumelana okufanayo, ukuhlonipha inkululeko yomuntu ngamunye. Futhi-ke, ngaphandle kothando, ngeke sithole uhlobo lobuhlobo esikhuluma ngalo, inkululeko yothando kufanele ihlale phakade, kuyo yonke imishado, kungenjalo iyokhula ibe yisikweletu esithile kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo, kanye nomqondo oyisiphukuphuku wokubambisana nobunikazi.
Izimo ezimbi eziyinhloko ebuhlotsheni bomuntu siqu, zivela ngenxa yokuthi abalingani abafuni njalo into efanayo. Ngenxa yokuthi bahlola isimo ngezikhundla ezihlukene, ngokusekelwe kwiplanethi yokuzicabangela yokuphila.
Amadoda ahlale eqiniseka ukuthi ngisho akufanele uzame ukuqonda owesifazane. Abesifazane bakholelwa ukuthi amadoda akakwazi njalo ukuthatha indawo yawo, futhi aziqonde. Umehluko phakathi kothando lwesilisa nowesifazane ukuthi owesifazane uthanda njalo ngayo yonke inhliziyo yakhe nomphefumulo wakhe, kodwa umuntu - kuphela ngengqondo nomzimba wakhe.
Into enzima kunazo zonke ukuthanda, nokuqhubeka nokuthanda isikhathi eside futhi oqinile futhi oqinile njengokwokuqala. Ngokuvamile kungenzeka ukuba uthandane kalula, futhi uthande, kodwa hhayi isikhathi eside, kodwa ukudala umndeni, nokugcina uthando, lokhu kuyi-art real. Kunzima kakhulu futhi kunzima, okukhula kube yinkinga ebuhlotsheni bomuntu nowesifazane, nakuba kungadingeki lutho olungavamile kithi, kufanele nje siqhubeke sithandana ngobuqotho.
Ubusiso obunxushunxushu kanye neminyango eshisayo, kusekude, ukufutheka nokufudumala akufani, kukhona isimiso nesimiso. Kodwa konke lokhu kuphelile kuphi? Emabhayisikobho, imibhangqwana eminingi enjabulo evele iseneminyaka eyanciphayo, isabhekana njengendlela yokuqala. Asinakho okwanele, isikhathi esiningi sokulandela izifiso zomlingani, ukuzwa ngokwengeziwe, nesifiso sakhe. Qonda ngaleso sikhathi, futhi ukhumbule yonke leyo mizwa kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okujulile okwakunothando.
Indoda kudingeka ifunde ngenhloso ukubona owesifazane owesifazane, ukubonakaliswa komphefumulo wakhe, hhayi ukufaniswa komfanekiso womama. Owesifazane wesilisa kumele abe ngumngani omkhulu, umsizi nomgqugquzeli. Kuyinto nje yokwenza izinto: udinga ukumisa ukulenga umhlengikazi wakho kumuntu wesifazane futhi uzithole ukuqina okuqinile nokuqina ukuze uvikele inkululeko yakho yesintu nokuzimela. Owesifazane, udinga ukufunda ukulinganisela ukuziqhenya kwakho futhi ubone kumuntu ongafezi izifiso zakhe, hhayi umvikeli ovela kuzo zonke izifo, kodwa umuntu ozimele ozobe ethakazelisayo futhi efanelekile ukuphila kwakhe. Uma unikeza lo muntu inkululeko futhi ihlonipha ilungelo lakhe lokuzikhethela, uyozifeza zonke izifiso zowesifazane ngenxa yokubonga nokuhlonipha okufanayo.
Siseduze nathi sonke isikhathi singumuntu nje esifanelekayo. Futhi uma ngesizathu esithile, kubonakala sengathi singakufanelekela ngokwengeziwe, mhlawumbe, mhlawumbe, sasiziqhenya ngokuphelele.