Ezweni lethu, isihloko sokukhwabanisa besilisa sande kakhulu kangangokuthi, mhlawumbe, amantombazane kuphela angenamahloni akholelwa ngokuzithoba emandleni abo othandekayo babo ukuba bathembeke kuye yedwa ethuneni. Ngifuna ukuthi-ke, ukukholwa okungcono kakhulu futhi kuyabuhlungu kakhulu ukubhekana nokukhonjiswa komuntu othandekayo othembele ngokuphelele. Kodwa-ke, kungani, ngemuva kokuba ukutholwa kutholakale, thina besifazane siqala ukuqala izizathu bese sizibuza ukuthi "kungani amadoda elala kumakhosikazi awo futhi ashintsha?".
Le ndoda isithembu.
Okokuqala, kufanelekile ukucabangela ukuthi, naphezu kwezinto eziningi ezifanayo, amadoda nabesifazane, noma kunjalo, umahluko phakathi kwesimo sengqondo nesimo sabo sengqondo esifundweni esifanayo. Ngakho-ke, lo mbono "wokuhlubuka" uhlolwe futhi uhlolwe ngazo ngezindlela ezahlukene. Ngokuvamile ungase uzwe umbono wabantu ukuthi awushintshi omkawo ngoba bangalala nomunye owesifazane, ngoba abathandani lo wesifazane, ngakho abakhohlisi imizwa yomkayo. Kule nkolelo, amadoda ayaqiniseka ngokuqinile, futhi kunzima, cishe akunakwenzeka, ukubenza baqiniseke.
Ngokwemvelo, indoda isithembu, ungakhohlwa ngaleli qiniso. Yiqiniso, kunzima ukuthola isizathu kubo, kodwa kubalulekile ukucabangela lokhu njengesimo sokunciphisa.
Sizozama ukuqonda izizathu eziyinhloko zokuthi kungani amadoda ashintsha.
Iphuzu lokuqala yilokho okushiwo ubuhlobo bomuntu siqu, okubizwa ngokuthi "ukukhathala kusuka empilweni yokuphila kwansuku zonke". Lapha, ukuhlukunyezwa kwamadoda kubonakala njengokungeniswa kwezinto ezintsha, ukuhlenga ukufaniswa kanye nokuziqhenya kokuphila ngamapende, umoya wokuphefumula. Cabanga, mhlawumbe, ngempela, umhlangabeza egqoke izingubo zokugqoka ekhaya ngendlela efanayo, ungabonakali ukubaluleka kokubukeka kwakho, noma uma nje uvakashele noma umsebenzi ukhumbula ukuthi udinga ukugqoka i-blouse entsha futhi uyenze kancane. Futhi khumbula, bekuyisikhathi sokugcina lapho wenza kuye okuthile okumangazayo? Uze ushintshe isikhathi esingakanani imvelo yakho yasendlini futhi nje uhambe ndawonye endaweni yokudlela, epaki, ukuvakashelwa?
Isizathu sesibili ngumzwelo wokunganeliseki ngokocansi, ukungabi nothando kowesifazane wakho. Kubuye kwenzeke: owesifazane ukholelwa ukuthi uyamkhathalela indoda yakhe ngokufaka izinsimbi, ukugeza, ukumlungiselela, futhi kufanele abe sezulwini lesikhombisa othandweni olunjalo. Kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi ukudla akudingi nje isisu somuntu, kodwa imizwa yakhe, nemizwelo, nayo, kufanele ifakwe yithakazelo kumlingani wakhe. Ngokwemvelo, uma owesifazane ebanda, evinjelwe, akavumi ukuvumela indoda yakhe ukuthi ithole ukwaneliseka ngokocansi naye, ikakhulukazi uma kukhona ukucabanga okulele embhedeni kuyisimo esiqondile kuye, khona-ke cishe uzothola induduzo eceleni. Abesifazane abafuna ukugcina uthando nokuthembeka kwamadoda abo kufanele bacabange ngokuthuthukiswa kwabo ngokocansi nokukhululwa nomuntu oyedwa ayefuna kakhulu ukwabelana naye futhi adala ndawonye ngaphandle kokucasha, ngakho kungani kufanele abe namahloni?
Isizathu sesithathu yisifiso somuntu sokubonisa abangani bakhe noma ukuzibonakalisa ukuthi uyinto "yangempela" futhi angakwazi ukubamba noma yikuphi owesifazane ofuna ukuyenga. Ngokuvamile ukucabanga lokhu kuvela emadodeni angama-40-50 ubudala, lapho ukwehla komsebenzi wobulili kusondela, indoda iyazizwa futhi izama ukuzithola futhi iqinisekise yena nomuntu ukuthi usemncane, esebenzayo futhi efunwa yizobulili ezihlukile. Kodwa-ke, lolu hlobo lokucabanga luphinde lutholakale kumfana abasha.
Isizathu sesine sokungathembeki ngumhawu, intukuthelo, ngisho nentukuthelo kumfazi wakho. Indoda ikholelwa ukuthi ukukhashelwa kwakhe kulungile, uma umlingani wakhe ohlala naye engajabuli ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngokuvamile "uyambona" ngento emincane futhi ayiphanga isimo sengqondo. Lapha, lona wesifazane kufanele ahlaziye lesi simo futhi azame ukubheka konke okuvela ngaphandle, ngokuhlulekayo: ingabe ngempela "i-Megera" futhi kufanelekile ukuba nomusa noma, nje nje indoda efuna isizathu sokuhlukana nalokho okumangalela ngakho, futhi azama ukusungula isimo sengqondo , ukuqonda ngokuvumelana nomuntu akhethiweyo. Kuyinto eyenzeka ukuthi indoda iguqule inhlanhla, uma owesifazane othile emkhaphela.
Ngokuvamile, kungenzeka ukuba ubhale isikhathi eside izimbangela ezihlukahlukene zokungathembeki kwamadoda, lezi zine zaziyinhloko ekukhuleni. Icala ngalinye lingumuntu ngamunye. Ngakho-ke, umuntu akufanele enze iziphetho eziphuthumayo ngaphandle kokutadisha izimbangela nemiphumela yobuhlobo bomuntu ngamunye. Amadoda avame ukukhuluma amanga lapho ubuhlobo bufinyelele ekufeni. Lapha, mhlawumbe, akudingekile ukunganaki usizo lomqondo wezengqondo oqeqeshiwe ongachaza ngokuqondile amaphutha akho, ekulungiselele ukuthi, konke kungalungiswa ngendlela ehle kakhulu.
Indoda ingumzingeli omdala, odinga ukuthakazelisa, ukuvutha kwemizwelo. Mhlawumbe thina besifazane, ukufudumala nokuthula kwekhaya kuyinjabulo, noma kunjalo, kufanelekile ukukhumbula ngezidingo zomuntu othandekayo wakho. Futhi akuyona imfihlo indoda ethanda amehlo akhe, ngakho ukunakekela ukubonakala kwakhe kuyokwengeza othandweni nenhlonipho yomuntu wakho, uma ekuthanda ngempela.