Ngeke baqonde ukuthi kungani abazali babo beyingxenye, nokuthi kungani ubaba wabo othandekayo engakwazi ukuba khona nsuku zonke, njengangaphambili.
Kodwa-ke, bheka, iziphepho ezihambisana nenqubo yesehlukaniso ziye zayeka, futhi umbuzo uvela ngokuthi "u-papa ozayo" uzoxhumana kanjani nezingane. Ngeshwa, akuwona wonke amapapa ngemuva kokushiya umndeni ukuvakashela izingane zabo njalo futhi abahlanganyele empilweni zabo. Ake sibone ukuthi kungani ngemuva kwesahlukaniso, isimo sengqondo sikababa ngokushintsha kwengane.
Indima ebalulekile idlalwe yiqiniso lokushintsha izindima: ngenkathi umndeni wawuwumndeni, umthwalo wemfanelo kubantwana (kungumthwalo wemfanelo, kunomsebenzi wemisebenzi) wawuhlukaniswe phakathi kwabazali. Esimweni lapho umuntu ehlukaniswa nomndeni wakhe (eqinisweni, izingane zaseRussia zihlala nomama wazo ngama-95%), ngokuvamile uzikhulula emithwalweni eminingi yezinzalo. Ngokuvamile, abesilisa abadala baziphendulela ngokwabo ukuthi, noma kunjalo, abakwazi ukuhlanganyela ngokugcwele empilweni yezingane, ngoba Ungahlali nabo ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa. Eqinisweni, umuntu ofanayo usebenzisa lesi simo ukuze ajabulele inkululeko yesikhala. Kusukela kumzali womndeni, ngokuqinisekile, uphenduka umzalwane osekhulile, "owabaleka futhi wabaleka esidlekeni somzali." Uthando lwezingane lusho ukuthi umzali ufuna ukubona ukuthi bakhula kanjani futhi bahlanganyele empilweni yabo. Kodwa kubonakala sengathi abantu abaningi "basesesikhathini", abacabangi ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukuba khona kwabo kwansuku zonke empilweni yezingane, ngoba izingane zikhula ngokushesha.
Kumele kuqashelwe ukuthi emazweni aseYurophu - isithombe esihluke ngokuphelele. Obaba bahileleke ngokujulile empilweni yezingane futhi, ngokuhlukanisa, baqhubeka bephethe umthwalo wabantwana kanye nabomama: bachitha isikhathi esiningi kakhulu nabantwana babo njengomama. Abazali baya emhlanganweni wabazali esikoleni, bahambisane nezingane lapho beya emakilasini ezemidlalo, njll. Ngokungafani neYurophu, esiko lethu lesizwe, sibheka yonke isimiso sasekhaya, kuhlanganise nokunakekelwa kwezingane - "ibhizinisi labesifazane."
Ngaphezu kwalokho, eRussia, njengombuso, abashadile abahlukanisile ababoni ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuba babambisane futhi baxazulule ngokuhlanganyela izinkinga eziphathelene nezingane. Ngokuvamile sibona isithombe esiphikisanayo: esikhundleni sokubambisana, abazali bakhombisa ukungathandi komunye nomunye nokucasula abaphikisanayo - "faka izinti engosini." Isibonelo, isimo lapho omunye wabazali engasayine imvume yokushiya ingane nomunye ukuphumula kuvamile.
Izizathu zokuthi kungani, ngemuva kokuhlukanisa, isimo sengqondo sikababa ngomntwana singase sithembele ezintweni eziningana:
- Okuhlangenwe nakho kukababa emndenini wabazali, ukukhuliswa. Uma umuntu ekhulela emndenini lapho ubaba ehlanganyela khona ekukhuliseni nasekunakekeleni izingane: wahlambalaza izingane, wabondla, wazithuthukisa - wathatha le ndlela yokuziphatha. Futhi, uthando oluthe xaxa, lubophezele izingane zakhe, uma kuqhathaniswa nobaba, okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo emndenini wabazali kwakungekho okuhle kakhulu.
- "Ukukhula komuntu" kwabantu: kungakanani umuntu olungele ukuthatha umthwalo walokho okwenzeka empilweni yakhe, ngakho-ke ngenxa yokuphila kwezingane zakhe. Ngeshwa, abanye omama banomdlandla othandweni lwabo ngamadodana abo ukuthi balungele ukuthatha izinqumo ezibalulekile kubo kuze kube sesikhulile futhi balinde ngentshiseko kunoma yikuphi ukukhathazeka. Ngenxa yalokho - umuntu omdala, ngokusho kwepasipoti, indoda, uhlala eqinisweni, engumntwana okhululekile. Akakulungele ukuphendula ngezenzo zakhe, ukukhetha ukufihla nokusola zonke izinkinga zowesifazane wakhe wangaphambili.
- Ukulungela kwabashade abashade ngokubambisana ngokuphathelene nezingane. Kubalulekile ukuthi abazali abahlukanisile banqabe izimangalo zomuntu ngamunye ukuze kuzuze ingane. Lapho nje ingane ingapheli yisikhali sokuziphindiselela kumyeni wayo wangaphambili (umfazi), kodwa ibuyele esimweni somntwana othandekayo - izinga lokuphila kwakhe likhuphuka ngokuqinile. Uma abazali benokuqonda ukuthi badinga ukuhlala bebambisana ezindabeni eziphathelene nezingane ezivamile - ukuthola ulimi oluvamile akulula kakhulu.
- Kungakanani iqhaza elibalulekile empilweni yengane indoda eyithatha ngaphambi kokuhlukanisa. "Sithandeka kakhulu, sithanda kakhulu", "Asiyithandi labo abangakithi, kodwa labo-thina" - ngala mazwi kukhona esinye sezihluthulelo kobudlelwane bomuntu ngokujwayelekile, kanye nelokuthi uthando lukababa - ikakhulukazi. Uma ubaba ngaphambi kokuhlukana naye ebona ingane yakhe ezinsukwini zamasonto ambalwa ngosuku - ngaphambi kokulala, futhi ngezimpelasonto wayekhetha ukuxhumana nezingane isethi ye-TV - ngakho-ke, akumangazi ukuthi lapho ephuma emndenini, ngeke kube yinto yakhe, inhlekelele ukuqeda ukuxhumana nezingane. Ngokuphambene nalokho, kumuntu ongazange alale ubusuku nobaba wakhe, eshaqa umkhumbi owawukhona esitebeni sokuqala wengane futhi wagijima ekuqothulweni kokuqala emadolweni akhe ahlukaniswe "umcebo" wakhe oyinhloko - ubuhlungu. Futhi, ubaba onjalo - uzoqondisa yonke imizamo yakhe ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ukuxhumana nomntwana akuphazanyiswa.
- Indoda inomndeni omusha kanye nezingane emndenini omusha. Kukholelwa kakhulu ukuthi indoda ithanda izingane ngenkathi unina ebathanda. Futhi-ngokuphambene nalokho: uma umuntu ethanda owesifazane, khona-ke uzothanda izingane zakhe. Okusho ukuthi, ukushiya umndeni omusha, ubaba, njengokungathi, ubeka ingane yakhe enye, futhi ngaleyo ndlela anelise imizwa kayise. Lokhu akulona iqiniso ngempela. Yiqiniso, empilweni kunezimo ezinzima. Kodwa, ngenhlanhla lokhu akuwona umthetho. Kodwa-ke, akunakuphikwa ukuthi, ekufezeni indima kababa ngokuphathelene nezingane ezamukelwe, indoda ayihlanganisi ngempumelelo ngaso sonke isikhathi ukunakekelwa "kwamagundane" amasha nokunakekela izingane zakhe emishadweni yangaphambilini, okuvame ukuholela ekufutheni kwabo ngoyise. Futhi okunye: ithonya elihle endleleni uyise ehlukanisa ngayo lapho ekhuluma ngayo nezingane zakhe, njengomthetho, unomkakhe omusha. Ngeshwa, abesifazane abaningi, ngenxa yezifiso zobugovu, noma, ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi umyeni angaphendukela kumkakhe wangaphambili, ngamandla akhe onke, angaphazamise ukukhulumisana kwakhe nomndeni wakudala.
Nakuba kunzima kakhulu ukuhlukanisa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuhlukana phakathi kwalabo abashade nabo kwakungabonakali kanjani, abantu abadala kufanele bahlale bekhumbula labo abahlala kubo umama othandekayo nobaba, labo abakwaziyo, ngisho nangemva kweminyaka embalwa, ukuba balinde ucingo lwabo emnyango.