Ubuhlobo obuseduze nomyeni wangaphambili ngemuva kwesahlukaniso

Kukhona amahlaya amaningi mayelana nokuthi kukhona ubulili ngemuva komshado. Futhi cishe akekho ohlazayo mayelana nesihloko socansi ngemuva kokuhlukanisa. Futhi okwamanje kunezibhangqwana ezithintekayo emva kokuqeda ukukhathazeka zivusa amandla amasha.

Ubuhlobo obuseduze nomyeni wangaphambili ngemuva kwesahlukaniso kwenzeka ezimweni eziningana.

Okokuqala, njengoba kuyaziwa, ukuziphatha kwabantu emva kwesahlukaniso kungahlukaniswa zibe izinhlobo ezintathu. Abanye abantu abashadile bahlambalaza, isiphambano sesibili sisodwa empilweni futhi sinesimo sokungaboni ngaso sonke isikhathi komunye nomunye. Futhi abanye bazama ukufaka indebe ephukile. Ngokuvamile kuyisihlukaniso esenza sikwazi ukuqonda ukubaluleka kweqiniso komlingani wangaphambili. Lezi zinkampani zangaphandle zivame ukuthandwa ukuba nobuhlobo obuseduze ngemuva kokuba umshado uqedwe.

Okwesibili, ubulili ngemuva kokuhlukanisa kwenzeka kulabo abashadile abahlukanisile, kodwa abazange bahlanganyele. Isikhathi sokuqala esingokomthetho noma ukuphela kobudlelwane bomndeni kuyahambisana nokungahleleki. Ngenxa yokuthi isehlukaniso, njengomshado, abantu abaningi basebenzisanga nje ukushintsha isimo somshado. Ukuhlukanana kungaba yindlela yokubamba iqhaza, indaba yokuxoxisana, noma nje ukuheha imizwelo engabonakali emandleni, okwehluleka ekuphileni okuvamile. Ubuhlobo obuseduze nomyeni wangaphambili ngemuva kwesahlukaniso kuvame ukunikezwa kulabo besifazane ababeshiye, kodwa abazange bahlanganyele nomlingani wabo. Awukwazi ukubiza lesi simo ukuthi sinempilo kakhulu noma isiphephelo sengqondo. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngokuvamile abashadile baqhubeka behlangana kuphela ngenxa yezocansi. Lokhu kungukuthi, bona, bebona ukungahambisani nokuhluleka ukwakha ubuhlobo obunzima, banciphise ekufundeni okulula. Isikhathi esithile lokhu kungaba yisisombululo, kodwa hhayi isikhathi eside. Uma ufuna ngempela ukuhamba uphinde uzithole umyeni omusha, ubuhlobo obuseduze nomyeni wangaphambili kufanele bumiswe.

Okwesithathu, ubulili emva kokuhlukanisa buba khona futhi emibhangqwaneni ehlukanisa izitha noma ekuhlangenwe nakho okungathathi hlangothi. Ngokuvamile lokhu kungenxa yesidingo sokuxhumana njalo emsebenzini noma enkampanini yabangane abahlanganyeli. Izazi zengqondo zaseMelika zalinganisa ukuthi amathuba okuba nobuhlobo obuseduze phakathi kwabashade abashade, futhi abathandi kuphela, ngokuvumelana nemvume yemfanelo yabo bobabili, kudlula ama-95%. Kungenxa yalesi sizathu ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi izama ukunciphisa oxhumana nabo ngemuva kokuhlukanisa ize. Noma zama ukuxhumana kuphela esimweni esisemthethweni nangaphambi kwenani elikhulu labantu.

Ukuya ocansini emva kwehlukaniso, njengoba kuvame ukukholelwa ezenzweni zengqondo, kufihla izingozi ezingaphezu kwalawo mathuba. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngezinye izikhathi ucansi olunjalo ngumzamo wokuvala esikhathini esizayo, okwenziwa ngumuntu oyedwa noma bobabili abashade naye. Ngokuvamile, abesifazane bayavuma ukuba ithoyizi ngokocansi ezandleni zomyeni wangaphambili enethemba lokumbuyisela esifubeni somndeni. Amadoda avame ukubona ubulili ngemuva kokuhlukanisa njengento engathí sina. Okubaluleke kakhulu, ubuhlobo obuseduze nomyeni wangaphambili bungaba esimweni uma umyeni eye waya komunye owesifazane, kodwa ngomkhuba omdala uyaqhubeka ocansini kanye nomuntu owayengumkakhe. Ngomunye wesifazane, kunoma yikuphi, isigaba sokuqala sokucindezeleka emva kokufa, okuhlala emasontweni amabili kuya kwayisishiyagalombili, ukuze usinde kude nomuntu owakwakho wokuqala.

Ngezinye izikhathi ucansi ngemuva kwesahlukaniso akuhlobene nokuzama ukubuyisela umfazi noma ukuzijabulisa kuze kuvele umlingani omusha. Ngezinye izikhathi abashadile ngezizathu ezibonakalayo kufanele baphile ndawonye ngemva kokuhlukanisa. Noma baphoqeleka ukuba bahlangane kaningi ngenxa yeholide nezingane nomndeni. Kwenzeka ukuthi basebenza ndawonye noma baholele ibhizinisi elivamile. Kulesi simo kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi yini oyifunayo. Uma ubona amathemba wangempela okubuyiselwa ubuhlobo, mhlawumbe kufanelekile ukuzama. Uma kungenamathuba okuhlanganiswa, ngakho-ke kufanelekile ukuba ucabange ithuba lokuyeka ubuhlobo obuseduze nomyeni wangaphambili.

Kungcono ukuchitha lesi sikhathi ngokuzama ukuzihlukanisa nezinkinga zangaphambili, ukuziqonda wena nemizwa yakho, ukubeka amanani amasha empilweni, ukubeka phambili phambili. Ungadluli kokunye okwedlulele: kuyiphuthumayo ukufuna umuntu ongamthuthela kuye, noma ozoqala nobungane ukubeka iphuzu lokugcina esikhathini esidlule. Akusizo lutho ukuthi izazi ze-psychotherapists zikhuluma nge-suitcase yemifanekiso yezinkinga. Ukusuka komunye umshado kuya komunye, asinakukwazi ukuthatha izinyosi zamazinyo nathi. Futhi zonke izikhwama zezinkinga zihudulwa cishe zingashintshi. Umphumela ungadumaza kakhulu: emva kwakho konke, umshado wesibili noma wesithathu ngeke ube nempilo, futhi ukuwa kwawo kungaholela ekungakholweni okuphelele kuwe. Ukuvimbela lokhu kungenzeki ngemuva kokuhlukaniswa, kufanelekile ukuthatha isikhathi sokuphumula, ukunciphisa ubudlelwane obuseduze nomunye umuntu, nokuzama ukuhlaziya izinkinga zakho nezizathu zokushiyeka. Kubalulekile ukuqeda okungenani ezinye zezinkinga ezibhubhise umndeni wakho injabulo. Ngesikhathi umuntu othakazelisayo kanye nobulili obuhle naye ezoba yinto engokoqobo kakhulu kunokuba uma ulindele umqeqeshi ofanelekayo, uchitha isikhathi embhedeni nomuntu osekude naye.