Abaningi bethu bathanda ukuba abangane bobulili obufanayo. Kukholelwa ukuthi "uthanda wena" kuphela ongaziqonda, ukondla, ufudumala - ngegama, ubeke esikhundleni sehlombe lobuhlobo lapho kudingeka. Kodwa kungani abesifazane abaningi bephupha ngokuba nomngane wesilisa (okungukuthi, umngane, hhayi umthandi)? Ingabe ubungane nomuntu bungcono kunomuntu wesifazane? Futhi ingabe ubuhlobo obunjalo abukhiphi into engaphezulu? Mayelana nalokho okubukeka njengobungane phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane empeleni, futhi kuzoxoxwa ngezansi.
IMINYAKA YOKUSHANGANA NOMUNTU
Yiqiniso, ukuba nomngane oseduze naye akukubi. Kukhona umuntu ozokuza futhi asuse umphefumulo wakho ngokudubula umyeni wakho ngalokho okushiwo yizwe. Kukhona umuntu ongaya ezitolo nasemidlalo yaseshashalazini (awukwazi ukuhamba ngokwakho nge-crane!) Kukhona umuntu ozohamba nezingane epaki noma endaweni yokudlala yezingane nezingane. Okokugcina, kukhona ozoxoxa ngokudla okufashisayo nokukhononda ukuthi futhi awuhambisani ne-jeans oyikhonzile. Umngane othandekayo uzolalela, azwele, akhulume ngezinkinga zabo ezifanayo. Futhi uzokusiza kokubili. Kubonakala sengathi konke kuhle, yini enye ongayifisa. Kodwa, kuvela, kunezingcupho ebusweni besifazane, futhi azijabulisi kakhulu.
- Ngiyamthanda umngane wami, singabangane naye esikoleni, - kusho uMarina. - Phakathi neminyaka, baye basizana ngezikhathi eziningi kangangokuthi abakwazi ukubala. Sabe siseduze kakhulu, cishe sizalwa. Kodwa ngaphawula ukuthi umngane wami uhlanganyela nami ngokudabukisayo ukudabukisa kunjabulo. Isibonelo, lapho ngimtshela ukuthi ngiphakanyisiwe futhi ngandise umholo wami noma ukuthi indoda enhle iyangibheka, ngandlela-thile iyalimaza ngaphakathi. Futhi nakuba ezama ukukhombisa ukuthi uyajabula ngami, kodwa nginomuzwa wokuthi amanothi amanga awela ngezwi lakhe. Ephendula emazwini ami, uqala ukukhononda ukuthi akekho owenezela imali kuye, futhi amadoda awazange ambheke isikhathi eside. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngizizwa nginecala, ngoba ngilungile, kodwa akenzi.
Intukuthelo nokuphikisana phakathi kwabahlobo kuyinto evamile. Futhi lokhu kuvimbela ubungane ngokujulile, ngoba ukwethembeka nokuthembeka kuyanyamalala, into engenakwenzeka ngayo ubudlelwane obungane. Yingakho abesifazane abaningi, besaba umona, bakhetha ukugcina izintombi endaweni ethile, bangazivumeli ukuba zisondelane kakhulu nempilo yabo yangasese. Futhi empeleni ubudlelwane obuseduze bubuyiselwa ubungane. Abaningi bazophikisa ukuthi akubona bonke abesifazane abafana nalokhu - kukhona abanye abakwazi ukusekela omunye kokubili ukudabuka nenjabulo. Yebo kukhona. Kalula, bambalwa. Ngakho-ke, badumala ebuhlotsheni "bobulili obufanayo", abesifazane bazama ngokuzama ukuthola induduzo "abesilisa nabesifazane" - bafuna umngane phakathi kwamadoda.
OKUKHULU "KUKHULULEKILE" UKUVELA
Indoda ayinakwenzeka ukukhumbuza umona ngomfazi ngenxa yamacici amasha, ifenisha noma indlu noma ngenxa yokuthi intombazane ilahlekelwe isisindo, futhi ayikho. Okungukuthi, ebuhlotsheni "obuxubene" (ubungane obuphakathi komuntu nowesifazane), umuzwa wokuhawukela, njengomthetho, awukho ngokuphelele. Futhi lokhu kwenza kube kuhle kakhulu kwabesifazane.
Into yesibili ukuthi ubungane obunjalo buhle ukuthi umngane wesilisa angahlala ethola iseluleko esifanelekayo kanye nezincazelo ezifinyelelekayo mayelana nengqondo yezingane zesimanga. "Uma ngiphikisana nomyeni wami noma uma ngingaziqondi ezinye zezenzo zakhe," kusho u-Oksana, "into yokuqala engikwenzayo ibiza u-Alyoshka, engangibe umngane naye iminyaka eminingi. Uyongiphuza nge-valerian, futhi alalele futhi achaze ukuthi kungani kunjalo, futhi kungenjalo. Ngeke uthole "i-ambulensi" enjalo kunoma yimuphi umngane noma kwengqondo. " Ngendlela, le nzuzo "yobungqingili" ubungane iyaziswa ngabantu. Labo abanamantombazane, bacela ngokuzithandela umbono wabo ngokuthi kungani inkosikazi noma inkosikazi ingenangqondo. Futhi ngokuvamile umuntu utshela intombi yakhe izinto ezingamethemba ngisho nomkakhe.
Kukhona okunye okunye okuhlanganisa. Izazi zengqondo zithi ukukhona komngane womuntu wobulili obuhlukile kuqinisa ingqondo yakhe. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane. Phela, sidinga ukuzizwa njengomoya esithandayo ubulili besilisa. Kubalulekile kithi ukuthi asithandi nje kuphela ngamehlo amahle nemilenze emihle, kodwa futhi nezimfanelo ezingokomoya. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi konke lokhu kuyothandeka ukuthola kumyeni wakhe. Kodwa, yebo, akuwona wonke umuntu onenhlanhla. Kodwa umngane womuntu uyakuthanda ngobuqotho futhi uyakwazisa njengomuntu. Lokhu kubangela ukuthembela kowesifazane, ukuqeda izinkimbinkimbi eziningi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ubungane nomuntu kusiza owesifazane, okuthiwa, ukugcina ithoni - ukubukela izingubo, isibalo nezinye izinto.
Ngelinye igama, kubonakala ukuthi ubungane obunjalo bunama-pluses aqinile kuphela. Kodwa uma konke kwakulula kangaka! Nalapha futhi, kunezikhathi ezisheshayo. Isibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ubuhlobo obuseduze nomngane wakho, abukeli isimo sengqondo sobuhlobo obunjalo babantu abazungezile futhi, ekugcineni, umhawu ngomyeni ...
ISIKHATHI SESIKHAYA SIKHONA!
Amathuba ukuthi abangane bayoba abathandi, empeleni. Ngezinye izikhathi ubuhlobo, obukeka njengobungane phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane, ngokungaqondakali kokubili bukhule lube uthando. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi bavele bebheke embhedeni. Yebo, kunamathuba, kodwa ayinaki. Futhi yingakho. Iqiniso liwukuthi owesifazane, njengombuso, uthatha ubuhlobo obunzima kakhulu nomuntu obaluleke kakhulu, obanika ukubaluleka okukhulu. Uhlonipha umngane wakhe futhi uzwelana naye (ngaphandle kwesihawu akukho buhlobo, akunandaba ukuthi uyayithanda yini umngane wakhe noma umngane wakhe). Kodwa ubona kuye nje umngane, hhayi umuntu. Ngenxa yokuthi ihlombe elinobungane, hhayi ukwamukelwa okuthandayo komthandi. Futhi uma isikhathi eside singabangani, ithuba elingaphansi lokuthi owesifazane uzobona indoda esoka lakhe, izazi zengqondo zithi. Phela, akukho nhlobo yezinto ezintsha, ngenxa yokuthi ngezinye izikhathi senza izenzo ezingenangqondo, sisheshe sifike ezingalweni zomuntu ongazijwayele.
Kodwa amadoda ahlelwe ngendlela ehlukile. Ngisho noma bengabangane nabesifazane abangaphezu konyaka owodwa, basabona kuye owesifazane. Ngisho noma ikhonso liso. Lokhu akusho ukuthi balele futhi babone ukuthi bangamhudula kanjani ukuze alele embhedeni. Cha, kunjalo. Kodwa ungaphiki ukuthi ngaphansi kwezimo ezithile, ubulili nentombi kungenzeka. Ukucasuka ngenxa yalokhu kumadoda kuyisiphukuphuku - ngakho bahlelwe, yini ongayenza. Kudingekile ukwamukela lokhu njengokunikezwayo bese uzama ukunganiki umngani wakho isizathu esincane sokuthuthukiswa, okushoyo, ngesimiso sakhe esiyisisekelo. Okungukuthi, ungahambi naye yedwa e-sauna, ungaguquli izingubo zakhe zangaphansi ezithengiwe phambi kwekhaleni lakhe, njll. Emva kwakho konke, izinyathelo ezimbalwa ezingalungile ezingxenyeni zakho, futhi angase acabange ukuthi awunaki ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho abuyena kuphela u-platonic. Futhi, ngokusho kochwepheshe, uma lokhu kwenzeka, abangane bavame ukuzisola. Ngoba akuyona into engavamile ukuba nobuhlobo obudala bubuyiselwe emuva kwalokhu, futhi kunzima ukwakha okusha. Ngakho-ke, madodakazi, qaphela!
KUYONKE I-ROTOK AYIKHUTHI I-TABLET
Lokhu ukuhlakanipha kwabantu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ngokuqinisekile kuzoba nesifundo esithile esizobuka ubungane bakho ngokusobala. Yilungele lokhu. Yilungele futhi ukuthi, ngaphandle kokungena nomngani wakho, usengozini yokuzwa ngemuva komakhelwane ukuhlekisana komakhelwane: "Awu, kufanele, ngenkathi umyeni esebenza, uthola isikhathi esihle." Uzodinga ukwamukela ukuhlaselwa okunjalo futhi uzame ukungabanaki. Ngeke utshele wonke okhulumela isiphambano ukuchaza nokufakazela ukuthi ungabangane nje, futhi akukho okunye okunye. Kungenye indlela ehlazisa, futhi namanje ngeke bakholwe. Futhi uma ungakhululekile ukuhleba, zama ukungabaniki isizathu - uhlangabezane nomngane endaweni ethile emgqeni ongathathi hlangothi, kude nemibono ehlakaniphile yomzala womakhelwane. Iseluleko esifanayo sizoba usizo kulabo omama abayeni babo abanomona omkhulu ngabangane babo besilisa futhi ngazo zonke izindlela bavimbela ubungane babo.
UMngani Omuhle - Ungubani?
Ngokuvamile umlingani ohloniphekile unomhawu ngoba nje akaqondi ukuthi isigamu sakhe singaba njani "nohlobo oluthile lohlobo". Ngakho-ke, madoda abathandekayo, lokhu akuyona ubulili nhlobo, kodwa kuhluke ngokuphelele.
Ezimweni eziningi, abesifazane bakhetha ukuba abangane babantu abafunda nabo ekilasini noma ofunda nabo ekilasini. Lokhu kuyaqondakala, ngoba banezixhumanisi eziningi kakhulu! Izikhumbuzo zeminyaka yesikole, ekolishi "amazambane", ukuhamba okuhlangene, amabhonfires, njll. - lokho kungumlando wobuntwana kanye nentsha. Konke lokhu kudala "ukuxoxela" okunamandla okwenza ubungane. "Mina noNicokolai singabangani beklasi lokuqala," kusho u-Olga. - Ngesinye isikhathi wayenothando olusha kimi, kodwa wabe esedlula, futhi ubungane besahlala. Sonke sithintana. Ngaqala ukumtshela kumyeni wami wesikhathi esizayo, futhi yena kimi - nomfazi wakhe wesikhathi esizayo. Sibheke imibono yomunye nomunye ukuthi ibe yimpumelelo, ngakho-ke sanquma ukuhlela "ukubuka" ngaphambi kokuqhuma phambili empilweni yomndeni. Ama-halves ethu ekuqaleni ayesesikhwele kithi, kodwa epholile, eqaphela ukuthi akekho ubulili ebuhlotsheni bethu futhi abuzwa. "
Abangane bangaba abangane abahle. Baphinde bahlanganyele izithakazelo ezivamile, kufaka phakathi ezobuchwepheshe.
Ubuhlobo obunamandla ngezinye izikhathi buvela "othandweni" kakade. Isibonelo, abathandi bokuqala noma abashadile (uma, eqinisweni, bahlukana ngaphandle kokuhlambalaza nokuhlazeka, kodwa baphumelele). Ezimbili ezinjalo i-flame yothando yaphuma, uthando lwadlula, kodwa emphefumulweni kwakukhona ubudlelwano obufudumele komunye nomunye. Kuvame kulawa malahle ukuthi ubuhlobo obuqinile budalwa. Futhi ngisho noma abantu bephinde bashada, bavame ukugcina ubuhlobo nabalingani babo bokuqala. Futhi kwenzeka ukuthi bangabangane bemindeni.
Yiqiniso, kusukela ngombono womyeni wakhe, ukhetho olulodwa oluvumelekile lobuhlobo besilisa-besilisa kungukuthi umngane womfazi ungumuntu ongathandana naye. Abantu abesilisa nabesilisa abavame ukuba abangane abathandekayo kowesifazane: inkinga yobulili iyanyamalala, futhi zonke izinzuzo zobungane "ezixubene" zihlala. Kodwa emva kobulili bonke nonke ngeke nikhathazeke, amadoda aneziko zendabuko nanoma kunjalo (ngenhlanhla ngabesifazane!). Ngakho-ke, oshade naye osemthethweni kuzodingeka avumelane futhi ekugcineni aqonde ukuthi indoda nowesifazane bangabandakanyeka kuphela ngesifiso socansi. Kukhona nobungane, futhi kusekelwe, njengoba sithole, ngokuphelele kwezinye izinto.
I-HARE OF THE HUSBAND
Uma ngabe oshade naye enomona kuwe kumngane wesilisa, sebenzisa izincomo zesazi sengqondo:
♦ Ngokuvamile udumise umyeni wakho, umtshele indlela enhle ngayo, ohlakaniphile, othandekayo nokunye okunjalo. Phela, umhawu uvame ukuvela ebucayi obuncane. Futhi kusemandleni akho ukugqugquzela oshade naye ukuthi ungumuntu oyingqayizivele ngokuphelele futhi awucabangi emicabangweni yakho ukuthi omunye umuntu angase abe endaweni yakhe;
♦ Ungalokothi uphazamise umyeni wakho nomngani wakho: "O, awunami! Kulungile-ke, ngizohamba ngiye ePasha. Uyangithanda ngempela! "Ngezenzo ezinjalo, uzomthukuthelela kuphela, futhi uzokwenza konke okusemandleni akho ukubhubhisa ubungane bakho;
♦ Zama ukusabalalisa phambi komyeni wakho kancane ngalokho umngane omangalisayo onakho nokuthi uyakuqonda kanjani. Amadoda ayithandi lapho owesifazane wabo edumisa amanye amadoda;
♦ Ungatholi umngane wakho ukuba abe umngane womndeni. Ezimweni eziningi lokhu akunakwenzeka. Kwanele ukuthi umyeni uyazi ukuthi unomngane wesilisa futhi njalo uchitha isikhathi naye.