IBhayibheli lithi: "Abazali badla amagilebhisi aluhlaza, futhi izingane zazinamazinyo." Futhi lesi simbozo akuyona neze ukuphanga! Uma ubuyisela kabusha umlando womndeni wakho futhi uhlanganisa umlando ophelele wezinhla ngemihla ebalulekile nemicimbi, ungakwazi ukukhanyisa izinkinga zakho eziningi futhi hhayi nje ukuqonda, kodwa ukuwaqeda!
Isazi sengqondo esingumFulentshi u-Anne Anselin Schutzenberger saqala, sihlaziya izenzakalo eziqhubekayo emndenini wakhe (ukufa komntwana omncane). Ngenxa yalokho, wavula indlela entsha ye-psychotherapy futhi wadala isayensi encane - ingqondo ye-psycho-genology, ukuhlanza ukuthi ukhiye wokudambisa izinkathazo nokuhluleka kuvame ukufihla esikhathini esidlule somndeni.Ukubika kwezeMndeni
Sonke sivela ebuntwaneni. Futhi into enhle kunazo zonke kithi, nokulimala okunzima, ngokuvamile kusuka lapho. Izingane azikhetheli abazali bazo noma isimo abakhula kuzo. Futhi yonke imithwalo yempahla yayo, yonke "ifa" lomama noyise, ugogo nomkhulu, ugogo nomkhulu kanye noyise-ke-ke baqhubeka bephethe amahlombe abo. Kodwa ayikho imindeni ngaphandle kwezinkinga! Impi yangaphambili, ukuphindaphindiwe, isiqalekiso somndeni, izimfihlo zomuntu wonke - konke lokhu kuyisikhulu kithi, inzalo. Umlando omningi wemindeni ulahlekile emakhulwini eminyaka, amanye amaqiniso afihle ngamabomu - bese eqhubekela phezulu ngobuso bethu besaba nezinkathazo, ukunganeliseki ...
Thatha okungenani "ukubalwa kwemindeni" - uhlelo oluzimele lokubalwa komphakathi phakathi kwezihlobo. Ngamunye wethu unesibopho sokuziphatha emndenini. Sekuyiqiniso ukuthi abazali bethu basikhulisa, basebenzisa amandla abo, basinika ukuthembela okuthile: kukhona isikweletu esidinga ukubuyiselwa. Kodwa kuvela, ohlelweni lomndeni olwanele, izikweletu zinikwe ngochungechunge: abazali - kithi, thina-kubantwana bethu, nalabo-kubazukulu bethu. Noma kunjalo, obaba nonina abaningi banakekela izingane zabo, kukhuthaza imizwa yecala. "Ngikunikele kakhulu!" Lokhu kuholela ezimweni eziyinkimbinkimbi: indodakazi ayithandi ukuphila komndeni wakhe ngoba uyabakhathalela abazali bayo; Indodana ayitshangi ukujabulisa unina ... Ukuhlukunyezwa! Uhlelo lokubalwa komndeni luyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Izihlobo zingafuna ngokuqinile ukuthi ukhokhe izikweletu zezizukulwane zangaphambilini - futhi awukwazi ukuphikisa. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kunomuzwa wokuthi usetshenziswa. Kodwa uma uqonda ukuthi "imilenze ikhula" kuphi, ungadweba umugqa ongabonakali phakathi kwamanje nesikhathi esedlule.
Isibonelo esivela ekuphileni
U-Varya noLena bangumzala wesibili. UVarya uhlala enhloko-dolobha, noLena - edolobheni elincane. Uthumela indodana yakhe ukuba ifunde eMoscow futhi ihlele ukuhlala noVarya. Nanoyedwa kanye nendlu enkulu, kodwa akakhululekile ukuthi indlu yayiyindoda endala: I-Vary inamadodakazi amabili, kodwa ayikwazi ukuphikisa. Ukusebenza nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kuveza imininingwane ebalulekile: phakathi nempi, ugogo bahlala emndenini wodadewabo-futhi ngenxa yalokhu, wasinda. Lo mkhwenyana wayengumkhulu kaLena. Ngakho-ke, emndenini kaLenin kukhona ukuqiniseka okuqinile ukuthi umndeni kaVarina "ubophekile" kubo.
Amahlumela emakamelweni
Unayo yonke imindeni. Amaphuzu abakhetha ukuhlala ethule: izingane ezingekho emthethweni kanye nejele elidlulile, liphindaphindiwe futhi lizibulala ... "Abafileyo abonakali, kodwa abakho," - la mazwi ka-Augustine Obusisiwe aqinisile kuleli cala.
Imfihlakalo yomndeni inethonya elibalulekile empilweni yethu! Kungabonisa ukukhetha kwamakilasi, izinto zokuzilibazisa, kuyilapho sihlala siyimfihlo. Njengokuthi into yangaphakathi isenza sikhethe lo msebenzi, lo muntu (nakuba empeleni sifisa thina omunye!). Lokhu kwenzeka kanjani? Ochwepheshe kulo mkhakha bakhombisa ukuthi ulwazi olwenqatshelwe ludluliselwa ngokungenasici kusuka kumama kuya kumntwana. Futhi lo muntu uhlala, njenge-crypt, lapho "ighost" ihlanganisiwe khona. Uzwa sengathi akaphili ukuphila kwakhe, kodwa akakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi yimpande yenkinga.
Isibonelo esivela ekuphileni
UGalina - ukukhathazeka okuqhubekayo ezinganeni. Izinkinga ezincane zenza i-presyncope. Owesifazane uqonda konke ukuphulukisa kwesimo sengqondo esinjalo, kodwa akukho lutho olungenziwa ngakho. Ngokungazelelwe uthola ukuthi unina unomfowenu osemncane owafa eminyakeni eyisithupha yokugula kwengane. Futhi ugogo, nomama waba yinhlekelele. Kuyacaca lapho ukukhathazeka okungenakuvela khona.
I-Anniversary Syndrome
Uma ubonisa i-genosociogram yakho - umuthi ophelele wozalo lozalo, amagama, izenzakalo ezibalulekile kanye nezinsuku (hhayi kuphela ukuzalwa nokufa, kodwa nemishado, ukungena emfundweni ephakeme, ukuzalwa kwezingane, izifo, izingozi), khona-ke izenzakalo eziningi ezithakazelisayo zizotholakala. Isibonelo, kungase kuvele ukuthi zonke izenzakalo ezibuhlungu emndenini ziboshwe esikhathini esithile sonyaka (ngaphambi kwePhasika, emva kweKhisimusi) noma inombolo ethile, ithi, 12. Noma kuyotholakala ukuthi bobabili indodana, ubaba nomkhulu baba nokuphila uqhubeka ngokuvumelana nesimo esifanayo: umshado wokuqala ngemva kwesikhungo - ukuzalwa kwendodakazi - isehlukaniso - umshado wesibili ... Lezi zigameko zibizwa ngokuthi "i-anniversary syndrome". Zichazwa ngememori yezofuzo, isifiso esingenasici sokubopha izimpilo zabo kwi-biography yesihlobo esinegunya. Ukungazi lutho kunamandla kangangokuthi ngezinye izikhathi abantu bazizwa sengathi "badonselwa amandla angabonakali" ngalolu suku ukwenza isenzo esithile esithile.
I-syndrome yesigubhu singabonakalisa ezenzakalweni ezijabulisayo: ukuzalwa kwezingane, ukwamukelwa kwemiklomelo, ukuvikelwa kwemibono. Kodwa ngokuvamile sizithatha izinto ezinjalo: bheka, ngithathe isibonelo kusuka kudaddy! Uma umuntu njengokungathi awela esiteshini ehambisana nokuthanda kwakhe, ngokwemvelo uzama ukuthola indlela yokuyeka ngayo. Futhi ukuvuselelwa komndeni odlulayo kunika ithuba lokuphumelela.
Ngendlela efanayo, ngokusobala, umndeni kanye "nokuqalekiswa kokuzalwa" kuthatha isinyathelo emndenini. Umphumela wezwi eliqinile, elikhulunywe ngenqwaba yemizwelo ngumuntu ohloniphekile (ikhanda le-genus), liholela ekuphindaphindiwe kwemicimbi edabukisayo ngokuqondile ngoba ngokungazi lutho iqhube abantu kwezinye izenzo ezithile. Umuntu "kumele" aqaphele isiqalekiso - futhi uyakwenza ngisho nangentando yakhe!
Isibonelo esivela ekuphileni
UTanya uyesaba usuku luka-Okthoba 7. Ngesikhathi eneminyaka engu-15 ubudala, walimala ngesikhathi kuqeqesha, ngenxa yokuthi wayengenakukwazi ukwenza izivocavoca. Ngalolu suku, kwahlukaniswa umshado nomyeni wakhe. Ngo-Okthoba 7, uTanya wayengozini. Ngemuva kokuqamba i-genosociogram, kuthiwa ngo-Okthoba 7, ugogo kaTanya, ofana naye, wafa. "Uma ukholwa ukuthi ukugqoka isigqoko phambi kwakho kuzosiza ukunqoba i-lottery, kuyoba. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukulindela ukwehluleka 'ngosuku olunamathemba' kuyabangela, "isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uTanin sichaze ngokubhekene nokukhubazeka ngo-Okthoba 7.
Ukuzingela izimfihlo
Zama ukwenza i-genosociogram yakho. Ngokwenza lokhu, uzokwazi ukufunda izimfihlo ezidluliselwa ngasese ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane, zicacise izenzo zakho futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, zishintshe impilo yakho. Emva kokuhlonza izixhumanisi futhi "ukucacisa" kwabo kuzobaphatha! Ungakha iphrojekthi yokuphila kwakho ngentando yakho, hhayi ekuhlotsheni kwezihlobo ezinde.
Uzoqala kuphi? Kusukela ezindabeni zomama nobaba, ugogo nomkhulu. Bhala phansi ubufakazi babo bese uhlaziya. Yiqiniso, ukulungisa kabusha okwedlule kuze kube yesikhombisa-yesishiyagalolunye yesizwe, kodwa umsebenzi onjalo uvame ukubekezela. Ekucaciseni izimo zokuphila komndeni wakhe, noma yikuphi imininingwane kuzosiza: ubufakazi bebangani nomakhelwane, imihlangano kanye nezingxoxo nezihlobo ezikude, izinqolobane zomlando, izincwadi zesonto, uhambo oluya ezweni lakubo. Incazelo eyimfihlo ingafihla kunoma yiziphi izinto ezincane: amanothi, ukunikezelwa, amasignesha ngaphansi kwesithombe. Dweba umuthi wofuzo futhi wenze zonke izenzakalo ezibalulekile, bese uqhathanisa nalokho okwamanje, ngezinkinga wena nabantwana bakho okufanele nibhekane nazo. Ngikholelwa, isixazululo siseduze!