Kuphela eminyakeni eyizinkulungwane ezimbili zokugcina, abantu baqala ukushumayela umqondo womshado oyedwa. Kuwo wonke lamakhulu eminyaka, isintu siye saqhubeka ngendlela embi endleleni yokuzama ukuzolalisa isithembu esinesibindi samadoda. Futhi ingxabano mayelana nokuthi isici sengqondo sokuthi "u-monogamy" sinikezwa ngokwemvelo noma esinqunywe ngumphakathi akuhlali kuze kube manje. Kubonakala sengathi abesifazane kuphela abanikeza inkulumo yomndeni nomshado kancane, ngoba bafuna ukushada nendoda yabo ethandekayo, bakhulise izingane ndawonye futhi bafe ngosuku olulodwa. Umqondo wokuziphendulela kwamakhosikazi amaningi ugijima ngaphandle kokungabaza, yilesi sizathu ukuthi izici zengqondo zezikhundla zesilisa nabesifazane ebuhlotsheni bomndeni azikwazi ukubizwa ngokuthi zifanayo.
Emvelweni, kunezinhlobo eziningi zezilwane - zombili ezincane kakhulu futhi zakhiwe ngendlela efanele - lapho u-monogamy kuyindlela yemvelo yemvelo yokwakhiwa kwezimbili. Izimpisi, ama-wavy ama-parrots, ama-swans, ezinye izinhlobo ze-goose zingaphila nomlingani oyedwa kuzo zonke izimpilo zabo, futhi ngokuvamile zigcina ethembekile ngisho nangemva kokufa kwakhe. Kodwa ngisho nezilwane ezingafani zine "amakhophi" ahlukile kangaka angashintsha ama-halves azo namanye ama-females. Amadoda avela ekubhujisweni kwemibhangqwana eshadile eqinile, amahansi, izimpisi nezinye izilwane ezifundwe yizo zochwepheshe zezoopsychologists, zibamba ubukhosi obuphansi kunazo zonke emhlambini wezinkomo. Njengabantu, izilwane zinomfanekiso "wokuziphatha okuphindwe kabili": owesilisa angamkhafulela "kumfazi" wakhe, abesifazane baxolela kakhulu.
Ngempela, abantu baye kude nezilwane ekuthuthukiseni kwabo. Kodwa azifani nezici zesimo samadoda nabesifazane ngokuphathelene nezibopho zomndeni. Abesifazane ngokuvamile banamalungu omndeni, bangenza kube yinto eyodwa kuphela yokuzikhandla, batshale amandla amaningi engqondo ekufuneni umyeni, bese bemgcina esondelene nabo. Isimo somuntu oshadile emphakathini sikhulu kakhulu kunesimo senkosikazi ehlukanisile noma engashadile. Ngokuqondene namadoda, ngokuvamile abadingi umshado. Futhi uma beshada, bavame ukubhekisisa umndeni njengengxenye eyengeziwe ekufezeni kwabo ngaphandle kwayo.
Inamba enkulu yezinkinga zomndeni emibhangqwana ivela ngenxa yokuthi isikhundla sebesifazane ebuhlotsheni bomndeni kaningi sisengozini kakhulu. Owesifazane ulindela kumuntu into efanayo ukulungele ukungenisa emndenini uqobo, futhi indoda kulokhu kuvame ukulungele. Izazi zezenhlalakahle ziyamangala njalo, iziphi izizathu eziyiqiniso zokuthi umuntu ashade. Abesifazane abaningi bangadumala uma bezwa ukuthi isisusa esikhulu somuntu ukwakha umndeni kuwumzamo wokuthola ubulili ngokufunwa ngowesifazane omthandayo embhedeni wakhe. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ukuze ulondoloze umndeni, ikhono lokupheka i-borscht nokugeza izilenge akuyona into ebaluleke kakhulu. Okubaluleke nakakhulu ikhono lomfazi ukugcina ebuhlotsheni bomndeni isisindo esanele sokufutheka nokuzizwa komzimba, ukufaka indoda ngendlela ngezindlela eziningi kanye nokuphindaphindiwe kwayo. Futhi lapha akekho u-primitivism noma umbono olula womshado. Yiqiniso, amadoda nawo afisa izisusa ezibalulekile njengokuzalwa kwezizindlalifa, ikhaya elihle kanye nesidlo esinomsoco. Kulula nje ukuthi kukhona eyesibili, futhi empilweni yendoda eshadile ayikho indawo efanayo abesifazane abelwe yona.
Izibalo zibonisa ukuthi amadoda aphumelela ngokuphumelelayo imigomo yawo. Amadoda ashadile, noma ayenamacala emigodini yabo, abe nobulili kanengi kunabachelors. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi u-bachelor uthanda kangakanani ukunqoba kwakhe ngaphambili, futhi empeleni ukuhudula owesifazane embhedeni ulawula isikhathi esincane kunomlingani oshade naye. Ngakho-ke kuvela ukuthi amadoda azuze lokho abashada ngakho-ukuphila okuqinile futhi okunamandla kobulili.
Kuthiwani ngabesifazane? Abesifazane bavame ukudumazeka ngomshado ngemva kwesikhathi esithile ngemva komshado. Izici zengqondo zezikhundla zesilisa nabesifazane ebuhlotsheni bomndeni zihlukile, nokuthi indoda isilungele ukukhokhela umshado ngokobulili, futhi owesifazane ujabulela ukunikela ngobulili wesilisa ngenxa yomshado. Futhi uma emva kokushintshaniswa kwezifungo zokuthembeka kulelihhovisi lokubhalisa wesifunda umfazi uyaxoshwa, uyeke ukukhokha ngokwanele ucansi, futhi uqala ukukhokha ngokweqile kwezinye izici zokuphila komndeni, ngokuvamile uvame ukuhlolwa okuqinile. Iziphenyo ezifanayo zikhombisa ukuthi amadoda angaphezu kuka-20% asekulungele ukucabangela umkakhe njengomngane wabo omkhulu. Bazokukhetha umngane wakhe ngokobulili bakhe, ngoba abanesithakazelo ekufundeni umehluko wokucabanga phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane, ingqondo yabesifazane ivame ukubacasula noma ayibabangeli ukuba baqhubeke nokuxhumana ngenhliziyo. Indoda ingakwazi ukukhuluma kalula nomkakhe kuphela ngezihloko zendlu, futhi uma bekhuluma kuze kube sebusuku ngaphambi komshado, emva kokushada, owesifazane uvame ukudumazeka ngokuthi umyeni wakhe akafuni ukukhuluma naye.
Ungakwazi ukuphatha umehluko onjengawe: ukuthukuthela, ukuhlukanisa, ukhethe isizungu, zama ukushintsha uhlobo lendoda noma owesifazane. Kodwa indlela eyakhayo kakhulu kubantu ababili abahlukene ukwakha umndeni oqinile futhi ojabulisayo ukutadisha ingqondo yezobulili obuhlukile, ukufuna izindlela zokuqondana. Owesifazane kufanele aqaphele ngokucophelela izifiso zobulili zomlingani wakhe. Indoda kufanele ifune izindlela zokuxhumana nomkakhe, ngisho noma ikhathele futhi ingenaso isikhathi sokuhlala ngaphandle kokusebenza ngaphandle. Kule ndaba kuphela lo mbhangqwana unethuba lokufeza ukuvumelana phakathi kobudlelwano. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ungakhohlwa ukuthi esikhathini sethu, ukulahlwa komshado okwenziweyo akushaqisi muntu. Ngakho bobabili indoda nowesifazane bangaphila bodwa benembeza ocacile futhi bengesabi ukulahlwa emphakathini, futhi uthando lufunwa ezincwadini ezithandayo, ezilandelanayo. Ekugcineni, uma kukhona umuntu ofanelekayo, impilo yomndeni ikhiwa yedwa, futhi ngeke ihambisane nesitembu epasipoti.