Ubudala bokudala umndeni

Kufika umzuzwana empilweni lapho uthando luyeka ukwamukelwa kuqala, luya esiteji esisha ngokuphelele - isigaba sobuhlobo obusha - umndeni.

Iyini yobudala bomndeni? Yini engcono kunemishado yasencane noma sekwephuzile?

Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi imishado yokuqala esikhathini sethu ayamukelekile ngokukhethekile. Lapho izihlobo eziseduze zizama ukuphoqa umbhangqwana othandana ukuhlehlisa umsebenzi wabo omkhulu, uzama ukuveza izingqondo zabo ukuthi umndeni wukuphila kwansuku zonke kubaluleke kangakanani.

Izazi zengqondo azicebisi ukuqala impilo yomndeni ngaphambi kokufinyelela eminyakeni engamashumi amabili. Iqiniso liwukuthi ubuntu obudala okwenzekile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubulili besilisa noma ubulili, bubhekene nobudlova. Ngenkathi, ubuntu "obunjalo" bulokhu buheha inkululeko, hhayi kuphela ekucabangeni, kodwa ngesenzo nokuphila. Futhi ukukhula ngokwezimali kuyindaba engathí sina.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantu abasha abaye bazibheka njengabantu abadala, behlangana nobudlelwano bokuqala, ngokuvamile badideka uthando lweqiniso ngothando. Futhi ukwakha umndeni osemusha wothando olulodwa, njengoba wazi, akwanele. Ngokushesha ngemva komshado, izibuko ezinemibala ekhishwa ama-rose zikhishwa isimiso nsuku zonke: ukupheka, ukugeza, ukuhlanza. Ukuhlanganisa nokufunda noma ukusebenza. Ngemuva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa, abafazi nabayeni abaneminyaka eyishumi nesikhombisa, benethemba elifudumele, bakhumbule isidleke somzali ocebile, ukunyuka kwebhulaki ebusuku kanye nokuningi kwesikhathi. Imishado yasekuqaleni ivame ukuphela ngesehlukaniso, kodwa kusukela esemncane kunzima ukuqaphela umthwalo wezinkinga zomndeni, okuholela ekuxabaneni nokuhlukana njalo.

Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi kubalulekile ukushada futhi baqale umndeni ngesikhathi lapho bobabili beqonda ukuthi bathandana. Futhi uma uthola imfundo, yenza umsebenzi, uphakamise ngezinyawo zakho, mhlawumbe ungakuthandi nhlobo. Yebo, futhi izimangalo ezingxenyeni zakhe zesibili zikhula ngaphezu kweminyaka noma ukuwa.

Impela umndeni, kumuntu ngamunye. Omunye usulungele isenzo esibi kakhulu eneminyaka eyishumi nesishiyagalolunye nesisemkhathini sokubeletha njengomuntu oshisayo, kanti umuntu oneminyaka engamashumi amathathu uziphatha njengomntwana omncane. Ngokwezibalo zengqondo, iminyaka engcono kakhulu yokushada owesifazane ingama-23-26, kanti amadoda emva kweminyaka engu-25, lapho esevele ejwayele, athole umsebenzi futhi usezinyaweni.

Mhlawumbe akubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi ungakanani ubudala, kubalulekile ukwakha umndeni onokwethenjelwa. Bathi umndeni oqinile manje usemfashini. Ezikhathini zasendulo, umfana nentombazane bazama ukushintsha ukuze bashade noma bashade. Emphakathini wethu wanamuhla kunakekelwa kakhulu ekubukeni. Sizama ukukhangisa ngokwanele, ukuxhumana okuningi futhi uma sikhuluma, okungenani izinto ezifanelekile, sikhetha lo muntu. Kodwa isimo sento sína futhi siyiqonda lapho impilo yomndeni iqala. Futhi njengoba wazi, lo mlingiswa ukhuliswe futhi kucacile ukuthi eminyakeni engamashumi amabili engakaphelelwanga. Lokhu kungenye yezinkinga ezinkulu zomshado wokuqala. Kodwa, naphezu kokungalungi okunjalo, imishado yasekuqaleni inezinhlangothi zazo ezinhle. Okokuqala, ukuphila komkhaya kwasekuqaleni kwenza labo abashadile bakhule ngokushesha. Namanje uguquguqukayo ngokwanele, ngenxa yesinqumo sobunzima. Ukukhululeka ngokomzimba kokuzalwa kwengane.

Futhi mhlawumbe akukho nhlobo yobudala obudala bokudala umndeni, noma kunjalo, ngokuqondene nothando. Futhi ngokufanayo, uthando luhlukile, imizwa ehlukene nemindeni ihlukile.

Hhayi, uma kwakunomthetho wokudala umndeni ojabulayo, lapho kungaba lula ukufaka iminyaka yobudala bomyeni nomkayo. Futhi izibalo zalolu fomula azizange zenziwe ngezindleko eziphukile nempilo. Mhlawumbe, izinkinga eziningi zingasusa isintu futhi impilo ayengeke ibe njengamapuzzles angahlanganisiwe.