Emva kwenqubo ebuhlungu futhi ende yokuhlukanisa, ngokuvamile kunzima kakhulu ukugcina ubuhlobo obuhle nomyeni wangaphambili ngemuva kokuhlukanisa. Ikakhulukazi uma imbangela yokuhlukaniswa kwakuyizingxabano zesilisa. Abesifazane, njengombuso, ngenxa yobumnene babo kanye nobungozi babo, kunzima kakhulu ukuqhubeka nenqubo yesehlukaniso. Ngakho-ke, kunzima kakhulu ukwakha ubudlelwane nomuntu osekude naye.
Umbuzo wokuthi ubukhona ngempela ubudlelwane obunjalo nabashade bashade banezimpendulo ezinengxabano. Ezimweni eziningi, lapho ukwakha ubudlelwane nomyeni wangaphambili ngemuva kwesahlukaniso, izizathu zegebe nendlela abantu abahlukana ngayo badlala indima enkulu. Isibonelo, labo abashadile abaye bahlala iminyaka eminingi emishadweni, emva kokuhlukanisa, kuhlale kunzima ebuhlotsheni.
Ukuphazamiseka kwenkinga kanye nokuqala kobudlelwano nomuntu osekude naye
Kuzo zonke izakwethu zangaphambili zingenzeka ngezindlela ezahlukene. Lapha, okokuqala, kubalulekile ukugcizelela ukuthi ekuqaleni, njengoba kwenzeke nhlobo, abantu babe nobuhlobo obuhle obwakhiwe emizimbeni nasezimpilweni. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi abantu baqala ukubheka ukunakwa komlingani. Ngakho-ke, uma udinga lobu buhlobo nomuntu osekude naye, kufanele uwuthathe (kakade njengomngane) njengoba kunjalo. Futhi ngenxa yalokhu uyosizwa ukugxila kulokho okwakungekho okubi kakhulu kuye. Izinkumbulo zakho ezihlanganyelwe, imizwelo, abantu obajwayele nabo bonke isisekelo esiyinhloko okudingayo ukwakha ukuxhumana nomuntu oshade naye.
Lawula imizwelo yakho
Ubuhlobo obuvamile nomyeni wangaphambili ngeke kube yinto engenakwenzeka uma, ngaphandle kwezinkumbulo ezijwayelekile naye, awuhlangani lutho nhlobo. Lapha ungafaka futhi zonke izikhalazo zokufihla. Khumbula ukuthi lapho ubona "okwangaphambili" kufanele ube nokubonakala okuzolile, okungahle kwenzeke, ikakhulukazi ngokuqondene nesimo lapho ebonakala endimeni yomqambi wegebe. Kumele udale ubudlelwane ngesimiso esijwayelekile: "Manje akekho, akukho lutho futhi akukho muntu okufanele." Uma umyeni wakho wangaphambili esethemba ukuthi angakwazi ukuza nganoma yisiphi isikhathi futhi athole konke okufunayo kuye (futhi kunezimo ezinjalo), masule ngokushesha. Masiqonde ngokucacile ukuthi, ngaphandle kweseluleko esinobuhlobo, futhi ngisho nasezindaweni zonke (awuzange ubhalisele indima yesazi sengqondo sakhe), ngeke athole lutho kuwe.
Sigcina umbono omuhle
Isisekelo esiyinhloko salolubudlelwane nomyeni wangaphambili sivakashele ngezikhathi ezithile. Lokhu kungafaka phakathi amathuba okujwayele ukujwayela labo abakuqala nabalingani babo bamanje. Kulesi simo, kudingeka uqonde ukuthi "owakho" kufanele aqonde ngokucacile indima yakho nesimo samanje empilweni yakho, ngakho-ke, kusukela ekukhulumisaneni, kufanele kube nomqondo omuhle kuphela. Akudingekile ukuba uqhubeke ngisho nangemva kokuhlukunyezwa kwesahlukaniso nomuntu ngisho nakakhulu emzamweni wakhe wokuhlambalaza ngento ethile. Ngezikhathi ezinjalo (ngokusekelwe esimisweni esijwayelekile sobudlelwane nabangaphambili) ngokushesha usike. Yakha inhlonipho komunye nomunye.
Izingane Ezivamile
Uma unezingane ezihlangene ezishiyekile, khona-ke ngeke kube nenkululeko yokuzikhethela, ukuxhumana nomuntu wangaphambili kungenakugwemeka. Phela, ingane ingenayo "ubaba wangaphambili" noma "umama wangaphambili", ngoba ngamunye wabo oshade naye ungumzali ophelele futhi okhona ngempela. Ngakho-ke, ukuvimbela ukukhulumisana komuntu oshade naye nengane kungakalungi. Ungazami ukumbamba ingane ngokumelene noyise, futhi nobaba naye, kudingeka ube nengxoxo ebalulekile. Isibonelo, ukumchazela ukuthi unamalungelo alinganayo nengane futhi unesibopho sokuthatha ingxenye ebalulekile empilweni yakhe. Kodwa masinyane kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi indoda yangaphambili akufanele izame ukutshala ingane kumama, ngaleyo ndlela "imdonsa" eceleni kwakhe.
Imininingwane ebalulekile
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukwakha ubuhlobo obunjalo kakade obunomlingani omusha. Uma kungenjalo, kuyoba okudabukisayo ukubuka ubuhlobo obusha bokuqala (uma bade benayo).
Futhi ekugcineni, khumbula ukuthi ubudlelwane phakathi kwabangqingili abashade nabo angeke basebenze uma bobabili bengakufundi ukuxolisa, balawule imizwelo yabo emibi futhi bagcine konke okuphekwe eminyakeni yokuphila komndeni. Abantu abashade nabo kumele bazame ukuqonda njalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuyini.