Kwabaningi besifazane, ukukopela umuntu kuyinto engamukeleki futhi engacabangi, into engxenyeni yefantasy engasoze yaba khona kubo. Asikwazi ukuqonda ukuthi kungani indoda ikhona, ayikho iqiniso kumkakhe. Sicabanga ukuthi, uma bethi: "Ngiyamthanda" noma ngiyakhala, khona-ke kukhona nathi kuze kube phakade, kepha njengendlela yokubonisa, akukho okuphakade okuphelile. Sicabanga ukuthi uhlale eqotho nathi, sicabanga ukuthi akasasadingeki nathi kanye naye, uzositshintshela abangane, yena uzoba ngowokuqala emndenini. Kodwa lokhu akunjalo. Ngezinye izikhathi kwenzeka ukuthi abantu badumale, bazuze kancane, bahlale bekhala njengaba nzima emsebenzini futhi, ekugcineni, basishintshe. Singabantu besifazane abanamandla, naphezu kokuthi sinobulili obubuthakathaka, singakwazi ukukhuthazelela nokukhuthazelela okuningi, kodwa hhayi ukuhlubuka. Uma indoda iguqula umkayo njalo - lokhu kuyisibonakaliso esibi, kubalulekile ukuyiqonda, ukuthola ukuthi kungani konke kwenzeka ngale ndlela.
Inkinga yobudlelwano phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane isho, okokuqala, ekubukeni komhlaba, ngokwahlukana. Sibheka umhlaba, izinto ezizungezile ngezindlela ezahlukene, ngakho-ke asikwazi ukuqonda ukuthi kungani indoda yenza kanjalo, futhi kungenjalo. Lokhu kungezwani phakathi kwethu kukhonjiswe kokubili kwengqondo yezocansi kanye ne-physiology yokubona okwenzekayo.
Thina, besifazane, kusukela ebuntwaneni babesifundiswa ukuthi ukusondelana kufanele kube yedwa kuphela, kuphela kumuntu osho okuthile kithi. Kwabesilisa, ukusondelana akuyona nje into nje yobulili, ukuphumula okungokomzwelo okukhulu noma enye yezindlela zokunqoba inhliziyo yowesifazane. Futhi kungani-ke, kungenjalo, ukuba naye ube kanye naye endaweni eseduze, sikulungele ukuzinikela kuye kuze kube phakade. Ngokungaqondile kusuka kwengqondo kwengqondo ebusheni bakhe, ubulili bokuqala besilisa kusho isibonakaliso sesibindi, ukukhula kwabo, ukubonakala kokuhlangenwe nakho, bazama ukufakazela ukuthi bangcono kunamanye amadoda. Ngesikhathi esilinganiselwe sobulili bazama ukukhombisa ukuthi basenanto futhi bangasho, basuke bekhangayo, bebukeka futhi bangabanikazi. Kunoma yikuphi, njalo bahlale bezingane ezikhundleni zabo kanye nemibono yabo.
Indoda, njengowesifazane, igxila ukunakekelwa, ikakhulukazi uma indoda ishaywa, isithakazelo esiningi ngokweqilekazi siyokwandisa ukuzethemba kwayo. Amadoda isithembu futhi akukho lutho olungenziwa ngakho, ngaphandle kokuthi kufanele nje lamukele. Njenganoma yimuphi umuntu, amadoda adonsela ekuziphatheni, wonke umuntu ufuna ukunambitha isithelo esenqatshelwe. Ngakho-ke, amadoda aqhubeka nokuhlubuka. Mhlawumbe, uma sisabavumela ukuba basishintshe ngokuvulekile, khona-ke le nqubo yayizothola njalo njalo. Indlela yokuziphatha nokuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma indoda ihlaziya njalo umkayo?
Ungakhathazeki ngamadoda futhi ucabange ukuthi abaqapheli ingozi engase ibe yingozi, ingozi yokubanjwa eshisayo, ingozi yokubhikisana. Kodwa namanje ayibavimbeli.
Amanye amadoda acabanga ngokuhlubuka futhi ashintshe kuphela ngoba awazange abe nakho futhi afuna ukuzama into entsha. Ngokwezinga elithile, lokhu kungase kuhlanganiswe ebuhlotsheni bakho, umuntu uthatha ingozi, uhlola lo mngcipheko, ungamjezisi, kodwa unganiki umphumela walokho akwenzile.
Kukhona futhi enye indlela, uma owesifazane engathokozi iqiniso lokungathengi, kuyacaca ukuthi uzoba mnandi, owesifazane ushiya kumuntu, uyayiphonsa, ngoba ayikwazi ukwamukela. Ayikwazi ukwamukela ukukhashelwa nokumlimaza. Uma umyeni womuntu ebiza kakhulu, khona-ke uzohlala phansi, uyokwazi ukubona iphutha lakhe ngokufanele, zama ukuyeka othandekayo wakhe futhi azilungise yena ngokwakhe. Kunezimo eziningi ezinjalo, ngoba amadoda azizwa ukuthi asicabangi ngabo. Ngaleso sikhathi indoda isengozini, kulula ukufundisa, okungukuthi, ukufundisa isifundo mayelana nokuthi ungaziphathe kanjani nokuthi ungenzani. Phela, umphumela ungadabukisa futhi ungenakugwema. Le ndoda izovuma noma yiziphi izimo, ukuze ibuye futhi igcine umkayo. Izokwenzela noma yiziphi izidingo zakho. Futhi manje ungakwazi, njengomzali oqinile, ukhombise amaphutha futhi ufake izimo zakho. Njengoba ezwa isijeziso ngesenzo sakhe, lo muntu uyaqaphela konke futhi uyaqonda ukuthi lokhu akufanele kwenziwe, ngoba zonke izenzo kukhona ukubalwa futhi hhayi yonke inkokhelo yomphefumulo kungaba.
Cabanga nje: kungani kungaba khona ukuhlubuka? Emva kwakho konke, indoda ngeke iguqule umkayo, futhi nakakhulu njalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Akukho okunye ukuthi isizathu sisekuwe. Ukuhlukumezeka ukungalingani okufakwe ekuvumelaneni kokubakhona kombhangqwana oshadile. Uma kungekho ukuvumelana emndenini, umbhubhisi uvele kuwo - ukuhlubuka. Izizathu ezenza umuntu athathe isinyathelo sokushintsha, zingagcinwa kokubili esimweni sengqondo, nakuzo zocansi. Ngokombono wengqondo, isibonelo, kunengcindezi enkulu kuye ekhaya. Kusukela ekukhethweni kwakho njalo uyamhlambalaza ukuthi akenzi izikhwama ze-pair, akukhiphi udoti, akuthathi izinto zakhe eziphonswe phansi ngemuva komsebenzi okhuni womsebenzi, mhlawumbe ucindezela ukuthi akazuzi imali eyanele, noma, isibonelo, uhola okungaphezu kwakhe. Esikhathini socansi, mhlawumbe indoda ayitholi isimiso sesidingo esiyidingayo. Uma kunjalo, kuyacaca ukuthi uzobheka injabulo ohlangothini.
Ungalokothi ubambe abantu bexosha, ungaqhubeki, ungabeki noma yikuphi ukugcina. Iqiniso lokuthi ukucasuka emndenini uholela ekutheni umuntu angaboni kahle futhi umholela emcabangweni othi mhlawumbe ungcono, omunye umuntu angeke adle kakhulu kakhulu nsuku zonke, kodwa uzoziqhenya ngokusondela.
Umbuzo wokuhlubuka njalo uheha umbuzo othi "Yini engingayenza? Yini okufanele ngiyenze? ". Lapha wena ngokwakho kufanele uqaphele ukuthi ungavumelanisa nokuthengiswa kwesikhathi esisodwa, uphelele futhi uqhubeke, uqhubeke uthembela umyeni wakho, noma uzohlala uhlambalaza ngalokhu. Uma ungayamukela - kuhle, ungowesifazane oqinile, indoda enjalo ngeke ilahlekelwe ngenxa yemitando yenyama. Uma ungazithobeki, shiya, kukhona namanje kulabo abazokuthokoza ngaphambi kwakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwakunjani, hlola isimo ngokucophelela futhi wenze isiphetho esifanele.