Umfana uyangihlambalaza, kodwa akavumeli ukuhamba, ngani?

Kwenzeka ukuthi ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu ababili kubonakala bengenalo incazelo, kodwa ngesizathu esithile abahlanganyeli. Ngesikhathi esifanayo umfana uhlambalaza njalo futhi uhlazisa intombazane, akamvumeli ukuba aphile ngokuthula, azibonele yena, njalonjalo, kepha akafuni ukumvumela ukuba ahambe, kodwa namanje angakhuluma ngothando. Kungani lokhu kwenzeka futhi yini engalungile ngalabafana?


I-Teddy Bear Syndrome

Ezinye izazi zengqondo zibiza lokhu ukuziphatha kwe-"teddy bear" syndrome. Iyini iphuzu? Indoda engeke ihlukunyezwe, iqhathaniswa nedoli ayithandayo. Lokhu kusho ukuthi, lapho sisebancane, lo mnikazi wayenomngane wakhe okhohlisayo, owadlala indima yakhe ethandwayo. Lo mngane wenza njalo lokho esikufunayo futhi washo lokho esikuthandayo. Wasisekela futhi akakaze aphuthe. Kusukela kumngane onjalo, akekho owake wakulindela noma yikuphi okumangazayo. Eqinisweni, wayengumuntu "wephupho" lethu, kodwa ebuntwaneni asizange sibone.

Izingane zanamuhla zakhula futhi abaningi baqaphela ukuthi abangane abakwazi ukufana nebheyi le-teddy. Bayakwazi ukuphikisana, ukuveza umbono wabo, ukucasuka, ukungenzi ngendlela esiyifunayo. Kodwa-ke, abanye abantu babengafuni ukubekezelela lokhu futhi bavele bavala amehlo. Baziqinisekisile ukuthi "i-teddy bear" ikhona, kudingekile ukuyithola. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umuntu onjalo uzothandana nomunye futhi aphinde abuyele. Futhi-ke uqala ukwenza kusuka othandekayo "ibhere le-teddy". Nakuba, empeleni, umcabangi onjalo akayithandi muntu kodwa "i-teddy bear" yakhe. Kalula nje, uthola izimfanelo ezifanele kakhulu ekuthuthukiseni "uhlamvu" lwakhe futhi uqala ukuthembela kuye umlingani ohle ekuphileni.

Kulesi simo, amadoda aziqondi ngokuphelele ukuthi zimbi kangakanani futhi ziphanga. Iqiniso liwukuthi bahlala ezweni elikhohlisayo, lapho othandekayo kufanele akwenze lokho akufunayo. Isibonelo, "i-teddy bear" kufanele njalo ilinde othandekayo emsebenzini futhi imhlangabeze ujabule futhi ujabule, akanalo ilungelo lokubuza leyo mibuzo umfana angayithandi. "I-Teddy bear" akufanele ibe nesithakazelo kunoma yini, ngaphandle kweyodwa eyingqayizivele nelingenakulinganiswa, okuyiwona ahlala kuyo. I-"teddy bear" akufanele ibe nezinkinga nezinkinga zayo. Uphoqelekile ukudala injabulo nenduduzo. Izinhloso ezinjalo azikho konke okungaqondakali. Noma kunjalo, ucabanga akafuni ukuvuma lokhu. Uvele nje esaba ukushiya umhlaba wakhe, lapho "i-teddy bear" igcwalisa yonke into yakhe, ngoba eqinisweni kunezinto eziningi ezingeke zibe ngendlela ayithandayo. Ukuqanjwa okunjalo ngabantu abanobuthakathaka nabadumile. Ngakho-ke kuvela ukuthi umfana onjalo uhlazisa futhi ahlambalaze intombazane yakhe. Kulokhu akazibheki njengecala. Engqondweni yakhe, umqondo wendlela "ibhere le-teddy" okufanele liziphathe ngayo ligxilile kakhulu kangangokuthi noma yiyiphi yezenzo zayo ezingawa ngaphansi kwezindinganiso kubonakala sengathi iwumenzi wezinto ezimbi nokungalungile.

Uma ubuza umuntu onjalo ukuthi kungani ekhala ngentombazane yakhe, uphendula njalo: "Wayengalungile, kwakudingeka ngimbonise ukuthi angakwenza kanjani kahle." Kulokhu, ngisho nokuqaphela ukuthi lowo muntu ugula futhi omubi, uzoqhubeka eziphatha ngendlela efanayo nangaphambili, ngoba ukholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho okunjalo kuzoya encekwini yakhe yenhliziyo futhi ngeke asenze amaphutha. Futhi uma "ibhere le-teddy" ngesizathu esithile liphonsa kabi, khona-ke kufanele lifundise ngokushesha ukuziphatha okulungile. Ngeshwa, iningi labaqambi laba yizihlubuki zangempela. Bamesaba kakhulu ukuthi abantu ngeke baphile ngemithetho yabo, ukuthi baqala ukusebenzisa ngisho nezindlela ezinamandla, ukuze bagcine "i-teddy bear" eduze kwabo futhi bamvimbele ukuba enze ngokuvumelana nombono wakhe kanye nezifiso zakhe. Ezimweni ezinjalo, umfana angashaya intombazane, futhi emva kwalokho athi: "Ungilethele ngaphambili, kungani wenza ngokuphambene nezifiso zami!". Qaphela, laba bantu njalo benza izisulu zabo. Bakholelwa ukuthi benza into efanele, kodwa "i-teddy bear" ilahlekelwe ngokuphelele futhi ijeziswa ngokuziphatha okunjalo. Uvame ukuzwa kusuka kumuntu onjalo: "Angiphakamisi isandla samanye amantombazane, ngikushaya kuphela. Ngakho-ke, nguwe osebenza ngokuzenzekelayo futhi uzihlambalaza, futhi ngikufundisa nje ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani kahle, kodwa awufuni ukungilalela. " Kodwa ngisho noma intombazane ilalela, lo mfana usengathola isizathu sokubambelela kokuthile. Uma "u-teddy" ngaphezulu ezama ukufanisa okulungile, isikhathi eside isikhathi samagama afanelekayo abe. Ngako-ke, njengoba kugcwaliseke enye ye-inventor, "umama omuncu" unecala emacaleni amathathu noma amane. Futhi ngakho-ke kungaqhubeka kuze kube phakade. Ngokuzenzekelayo umsunguli ngeke aqine. Uzohlale ecabanga ngento ethile. I-"teddy bear" ekugcineni izolahlekelwa yedwa, izoba nokucindezeleka nokuphazamiseka kwemizwa. Ngenxa yalokho, lapho umsunguli edidekile, wathi: "Awufani nalokho ngaphambili. Uthunyiwe. Kodwa ngizama ukukusiza, awuvele ungilalele nhlobo. " Futhi ukucindezela kuzoqhubeka.

Yini okufanele uyenze nge "teddy bear"?

Uma unendima "ye-teddy bear", khona-ke indlela yokuphuma kuphela ukuhlukanisa nomuntu onjalo. Yiqiniso, kungathunyelwa kwesazi sengqondo esizosebenza ezinkingeni nasezinkingeni, ukuze umuntu aqaphele ukuthi kwenzekani isimo nokuthi uyathinta kanjani abathandekayo bakhe. Kodwa inkinga ukuthi iphesenti elincane kakhulu lamadoda anesigceme sokugcina umlingiswa uyovuma usizo lesazi sengqondo, futhi nakakhulu ukuze uqaphele ukuthi benza okuthile okungalungile ngempela. Ngakho-ke, kungenzeka ukuthi usadingeka uhlukanise nomsunguli, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kubi kangakanani. Khumbula ukuthi awukwazi neze ukuba "ibhere le-teddy" ekahle. Amantombazane amaningi azizithemba ngamathemba futhi acabanga ukuthi kufanelekile ukwenza esinye isikhathi futhi lowo muntu uzoyeka ukuziphatha ngale ndlela. Ngeshwa, umsunguli ngokwakhe akakwazi ukushintsha. Ngakho-ke, uyohlale ephazamisa "i-teddy bear". Ngakho uma ufuna ukuphila impilo evamile, udinga ukushiya lo mfana futhi uhlale kude naye. Uma kungenjalo, kuzodingeka ukhuthazelele ukuhlambalazwa nokuhlazekala impilo yakho yonke.