Ngokwezibalo, cishe isigamu sabesifazane abashadile bayaqiniseka ukuthi ingane ayikhulumi noyise ngokwanele. Into ethakazelisayo kunazo zonke ukuthi amadoda ayazi futhi lokhu. Nokho, kuphela ama-36%. Bonke abanye bayaqiniseka ukuthi bakhokhela ukunakekelwa okuncane kubantwana. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abesifazane abangaba ngu-12% bathi abayeni babo abagcini izingane kancane, kodwa ngokuvamile baziphatha njengokungathi abanazo izingane. Ngendlela, eJalimane naseHungary kuphela u-2% wabamele abesilisa ababuthakathaka basolwa ngokungafezi imisebenzi kababa. Kukhona into ongacabanga ngakho, akunjalo?
Indodana - ubungani, indodakazi - indumiso
Izazi zengqondo ziyaqiniseka: izingane zanoma yimuphi ubudala zidinga uthando nokunakekelwa nguyise. Futhi kunoma yiliphi ubulili. Ngokusho kochwepheshe, uma umfana engacabangi ukusekelwa kukayise, "uthatha" indlela yokuziphatha yomama, lapho indima yindoda imane igxile khona. Ngenxa yalokho, umfana onjalo akakwazi nje ukuphenduka "indodana yendodana", kodwa, njengomuntu omdala, wakhe umndeni ophansi. Ngempela, ukuze ube indoda, akwanele ukuzalwa umuntu - udinga isibonelo. Umfana kufanele azizwe njengomuntu, enze njengendoda, njll.
Amantombazane abe nobuhlobo bawo noPapa. Phela, ubaba uyasiza indodakazi yakhe ukuba iqaphele ukuthi inhle, ihlakaniphile, iphumelele. Umama angaphinda aphindwe kaningi ukuthi indodakazi ihle futhi ihlakaniphile, kodwa cishe ngeke ilahlekelwe la magama. Uma ubaba emncoma indodakazi, indodakazi izomkhumbula isikhathi eside, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu - iyokholelwa ukuthi ihlakaniphile futhi inhle ngempela.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, le ntombazane ngokuvamile ifuna ukubona kulabo abakhethiweyo izimfanelo ezifanako noyise. Lokhu kungukuthi, ngupapa oba ibha lapho bonke abakhethiweyo kuzodingeka bagxume esandleni sakhe nasenhliziyweni yakhe ...
Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhipha umyeni wakho ephephandabeni lakho ozithandayo ne-TV, ukumkhumbuza ukuthi unomntwana owudinga (ungamqeda ukuba ufunde lo mbhalo). Izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi, noma ngabe ubaba uzonikeza inzalo yakhe nsuku zonke imizuzu engu-30 nje kuphela, ingane izozizwa iphephile, iqiniseke futhi ijabule. Izingane zilindela ukuthini koyise?
Ngesikhathi ebuntwaneni, into ebaluleke kakhulu ukubona nokuzwa hhayi umama kuphela, kodwa futhi nobaba. Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi izinsana, obaba babo abathintekayo ekukhuliseni kwabo, bancane amathuba okukhala, bangesabi abantu abangaziwayo, bakhululekile kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, ngalesi sigaba, upapa ufuna okufanayo, eqinisweni, kusuka kumama wakhe - ukuthatha ingane kaningi ezandleni zakhe, ukumshaya, ukukhuluma naye. Vumela izinyane zingacacisi ukuthi ubaba uyamxosha ngamabhasi, kodwa ngokuqinisekile uzobamba isithandwa. Ngakho kholisa umyeni wakho ukuthi angesabi indodana noma indodakazi encane (amadoda amaningi angathathi izingane ezandleni zawo, ephikisana ngokuthi angabalimala ngengozi). Bonisa umkakho ukuthi ungabamba kanjani kahle ingane, ukugeza, ukuphakelayo, njll.
Okubi kakhulu, uma umuntu ebona usana njengomncintiswano, weba isabelo sezingonyama. Kule ndaba, ake umyeni wakho aqonde ukuthi uyaqonda ukuthi kunzima kangakanani kuye-ukuhlakanipha kukayise kuyakhiwa kancane kancane, futhi ngezinye izikhathi akulula ukuthola okungaphezu kwalokho egoism yakhe. Kodwa-ke, chaza oshade naye ukuthi uthando lomntanakho alulahli uthando lwakho ngaye nganoma iyiphi indlela.
Futhi qaphela ngokwengeziwe ngalesi sikhathi kuya kwabathembekile bakho. Njengoba kutholakala ososayensi baseBrithani naseMelika, ama-5% wamadoda ngezinye izikhathi ahlakulela ukucindezeleka kwangempela kwe-postpartum. Uma ubona ukuthi oshade naye, ngemuva kokuzalwa kwengane, uye waba nolaka noma, ngokuphambene, ecindezelekile, umbize engxoxweni engagwegwesi (okungcono kakhulu, thintana nodokotela). Phela, lokhu kuziphatha komyeni wakhe akusizi nje impilo yakhe kuphela, kodwa futhi impilo ye ... ingane. Ngokusho kososayensi, phakathi kwabafana abaneminyaka engu-3-5 ubudala, izinkinga zokuziphatha zaziphindwe izikhathi ezingu-2 kulabo obaba babo babhekene nokucindezeleka kwangemva kokubeletha. (Emantombazaneni, Nokho, lesi sici asizange sichazwe kancane.) Kubonakala sengathi ekuqaleni abesifazane babe nomqondo onamandla ...)
Ngakho isiphetho silula: ingane kufanele ibone ubaba ngendlela enhle! Ngisho noma unomsebenzi emsebenzini. Ngisho noma ithimba lakhe lebhola lezinyawo lilahlekelwe nge-akhawunti ehlazo. Ngisho noma i-carp cruci ichitha indawo yokudoba, futhi uninazala ukhuluma ngamazinyo ngenyanga ...
Kuyisihlanu kuya kwesishiyagalolunye: yenza ngaphandle kokugxekwa!
Ngalesi sikhathi, upapa angadlala nomntwana wakhe emidlalweni esebenzayo. Yebo, ngisho nasebholeni elifanayo noma eHockey (ngendlela, amantombazane amaningi axosha ibhola kanye ne-puck ngokuzithandela). Siqinisekisa: zombili izinhlangothi zizoneliseka!
Kukhona omunye "umphumela ohlangothini" omnandi wale nkulumo. Ngokusho kwemiphumela yocwaningo, obaba ngesikhathi semidlalo banikeza umntanakho ithuba elingaphezulu kunomama. Abamele ubulili obunamandla bavumela izingane ukuba zizame, zikwazi umhlaba ozungezile. Umama, njengomthetho, manje ungamkhawulelanga ingane: "Ungahambi lapho, kuyingozi!", "Phuma emthini, uzowa!", "Phuma emgodini - uzothola izinyawo zakho zimanzi," njll.
Kodwa-ke, ngenkathi ingane ijwayele izwe elizungezile, ubaba kufanele ayeke ukugxeka ingane. Uma kungenjalo, ingane ngeke ijabulele lo mdlalo. Kungcono ukumdumisa ngokuphumelela kwakhe - lokhu kuzomkhuthaza. Ngakho-ke, akukho ukuphindaphindiwe okufana nalokhu: "Phuma, awukwazi ukukhwela i-tightrope!" Noma "Yebo, ubani onika ibhola! Kuphi izandla zakho zikhula! ". Uma ingane ingaphumeleli, kudingeka sibonise ukuthi kufanele senzeni nokuthi senzeni.
Olunye umsebenzi ohloniphekile ongabelwa umyeni ukukwenziwa kwezifundo. Akudingekile ukuba uhlale eduze komntwana, kodwa ukuze uhlole ukuthi indodana ixazululé yini inkinga ngezibalo ngokufanele, uPapa uyakwazi ngokuphelele (futhi umama ngalesi sikhathi angapheka ngokuphepha ephepheni noma ahlanze izingubo).
Buza umyeni wakho ukuba anake kabili ukunakekelwa kwakho uma unendodana yasenkulisa. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, ukuhlonza ngokocansi kwenzeka - inqubo eyinkimbinkimbi lapho intombazane "ifunda" futhi "ibamba" ukuziphatha komama, umfana - uyise. Buza umyeni wakho ukuba alalele indodana yakhe ngokukhethekile. Bavumele baxoxe kaningi ngezinto ezithile zabo, amadoda, bahambe ndawonye ukuhamba, njll.
Kusuka ku-9 kuya ku-15: baba abangane!
Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, indima kababa ikhulu nakakhulu. NguPapa ovame ukuba yingcweti ngezinkinga zesikole. Nguye ofundisa indodana yakhe indlela yokuziphatha noontanga (futhi, uma kunesidingo, ichaza indlela yokuzikhubaza). Nguye otshela umfana ngalezo zinguquko zomzimba ezilindele yena (ngale ntombazane ngezihloko ezithandana naye kungcono ukukhuluma nomama).
Yiqiniso, ngezinye izikhathi okuphambene kwenzeka - ubuhlobo bendodana nobaba kule nkathi bubuhlungu kakhulu. Izazi zengqondo zifakazela lokhu ukuthi intsha, ebona kubaba womqhudelwano, izama ukufakazela kuye nakubo bonke abazungezile isikhundla sakhe. Futhi uma ubaba, naye, efuna "ukumcindezela ekhoneni," ubudlelwano obuhle bungaphazamiseka. Ngakho-ke, okusemandleni kakhulu ngesikhathi sokuqala ukuhambisana nenqubomgomo yokungathathi hlangothi komngane. Iseluleko esiwusizo singanikezwa, isongo - asisoze.
Ubuhlobo bukababa onendodakazi yentsha ngokuvamile kuyisihloko esihlukile. Abamele abaningi besilisa abanamandla kunamahloni ukugeza amadodakazi abo, ngisho noma beneminyaka eyisithupha ubudala. Uma lona wesifazane ephenduka iminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu bese eqala ukudweba izindebe zakhe, agqoke iziketi ezifushane bese ehlangana nabafana, obaba bavame ukulahleka. Indlela yokuziphatha ngayo? Kungenzeka yini ukujezisa futhi uma kungenzeka, kanjani? Awunakukubeka ekhoneni, awukwazi ukushaya isikhumba esithambile - ngemuva kwakho konke, cishe intombazane ... Noma kungcono ukuba uboshwe ngokushesha?
Obaba abaningi, abakaze bathole izimpendulo zale mibuzo, basuswa kuphela kumntombazane wabo omdala, befihla ukungaboni kahle kwabo ngenxa yobuqili babo obude noma ukuhleka usulu. Nokho, ngokusho kwengqondo, lokhu kuyiphutha elikhulu! Okungcono kakhulu, intombazane, ehlazeka yipapa, izongena "imali" kuye. Okubi nakakhulu, wayezocasuka uyise ngenxa yokungakhathaleli. Akaqondi ukuthi kungani evele ehlazeke ngokuzumayo ...
Into engcono kakhulu umyeni wakho angayenza kule nkathi ukuba umngane nendodakazi yakhe. Uma ngabe wenza okuthile okungekho emthethweni, ubaba angakwazi futhi kufanele akhulume naye, echaza ukuthi kungani enza iphutha (ngoba indodakazi, umbono kababa ubaluleke kakhulu!). Kodwa awunakukwazi ukuhlazisa indodakazi yakho - izomnika izinkimbinkimbi zokuphila.