Ngaphambi kokuqala ingxoxo ngalesi sihloko, kubalulekile ukuqonda lo mqondo. Abaningi babona ukunyanyisa ngokusebenzisa inkhulumomphendvulwano evamile ethi "uya kuphi?" Kuyisiwula! ". Kodwa izimo ezinjalo zansuku zonke, ngisho noma singena kuzo cishe nsuku zonke, kuphela iphuzu le-iceberg: ngokuqeqeshwa okuncane nabo ongabhekana nakho. Kulukhuni kakhudlwana ukukhwabanisa ngomqondo obanzi wegama.
Uphi "ubuqili" obuvelaphi?
Uma ukhumbule indaba edabukisayo yeBhayibheli ngomunye wamadodana kaNowa, Hama, kungase kubonakale sengathi umfana akazange athole lutho: uthola ukuthi uyise ophuzile wayesehamba kahle, watshela abafowethu ngalokho akubona-ingabe lokhu kuyisizathu sokusola? Kungani kamuva umqondo wokuthi "ubuqili" waqala ukuveza ukuziphatha okubi, ukuthukuthela?
Ukuziqhenya ngokuvamile kuvame izicelo zamandla. Kuboniswe ekukhulumisaneni okungalingani kahle, uma umuntu ethi isimo sesiphezulu, kodwa akanalo ngempela. Ezikhathini zasendulo, kwakukholelwa ukuthi indodana eyabona ubunqunu bukayise yabonisa ukungamhloniphi umzali ngale ndlela. Futhi ake izikhathi zishintshe, isizinda salesi simo sifana: uthola ukusabela ongalindele. Ngakho-ke ukungahloniphi kungabonakaliswa ngezindlela ezahlukene. Ufika ku-ZhEK usizo, futhi u-u-window efasiteleni ugcizelela ngokucophelela iminwe yakhe, esikhundleni sokuphendula ukubingelela, ukuhlukumezeka. Ufunda umbiko emhlanganweni, kodwa umphathi ungakuphazamisi-ubonisa ukungabi nhlonipho. Uphuza umyeni wakho ngamasokisi ahlakazekile - usuvele ugijimela? "Ukwesaba ukuthi sonke senza njengabashayeli ngezikhathi ezahlukene, futhi nalokhu kunencazelo enengqondo.
Ukuziqhenya kungenye yezindlela ezamukelekayo zokubalekela ukubhekana ngqo. Ngokuvamile lokhu kuyindlela yokuzivikela, ngezinye izikhathi isifiso sokubonisa ukuthi ubani ophethe lapha, futhi omunye umuntu kuyindlela yokubhekana nokuphikisana kwangaphakathi. Ngakho-ke, uma ukholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi izwe lonke liphendukele kuwe hhayi indawo enhle kunazo zonke, bukela ngaphakathi kuqala - mhlawumbe nawe uzithatha ngokweqile?
Ngokubukeka futhi akunakusho
Inkinga yukuthi ukukhwabanisa kuyindaba yokuzithoba komqondo. Sonke sinokukhuliswa okuhlukile, kanti omunye unamathele ngokwanele ukuba agwetshwe, futhi umuntu kanye nefosholo angasolwa ngokungenacala. Kodwa ungapheli amandla, umgomo usesekhona, futhi sesiwuqaphele kakade: kungukungapheleli okulinganayo ezenzweni ezithile. Uma ungabaza ukufaneleka kwakho noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, uzisole ngokuthintana ne-paranoia, gcina ishidi lokukopela.
Khumbula ukuthi ukuziphatha okunjalo akuyona isono necala:
- Imisho "Awungaqondi kahle", "Kusobala", "Ungaziqondi kanjani lokhu?", "Uyaziwa yiwo wonke umuntu", "Eqinisweni, konke kuphutha" kubonakala sengathi kunomuzwa ongenalutho, kodwa empeleni kubonisa ukuphuza komphikisi .
- Abantu babuza umbuzo, kodwa abalaleli impendulo, noma bashintsha isihloko sezingxoxo ngokuphawulekayo.
- Umuntu uveza umbono wakhe ngendaba ejulile, futhi i-interlocutor ihleka ngokungalindelekile.
- Umphikisi uyaphazamisa i-interlocutor noma aqhube ingxoxo njengokungathi wenza umusa.
- Phakathi nengxoxo, umphikisi uyaphambukisa noma azenza sengathi manje akekho kuye.
- Umuntu ubangela ukwazi ukwazi ngokweqile: umuntu uhlolwe, uthinteke.
- Ngaphambi komuntu bakhuluma ngaye kumuntu wesithathu.
Siyaqonda, siyaqonda, akujabulisi ukubona ukuthi uyisiqhwaga. Ikakhulukazi abanye abantu bakholelwa ngokungafanele ukuthi izakhamuzi ezinezinkinga ezihlakaniphile kuphela ezikwazi ukuziphatha okungahloniphi. Futhi, isibonelo, unomntwana oshisayo onomama oqinile ngemuva kwabo, amamaki amahle esikoleni, idiploma enezinhlonipho, i-degree master, umculo we-classic, amathiyetha. Kodwa ake sichaze i futhi siphumelele unecala elingadingekile. Ngakho-ke, kungani kuvusa ukujwayelekile? Ngoba uma ungenalo lensimbi, ungathanda ukukhombisa umyeni wakho ophethe lapha, usebenzise i-uppercut, nendoda ethandekayo, kungenzeka, ingaphendula nge-hook ngakwesokudla. Kodwa usho nje ukuthi: "Vuka embhedeni, oyiphi uyihlo, u-hammer ekugcineni ukhonkwane, ngakho u-Igor Popov wathenga uMas imoto," uyaphendula: "Shiya, ha? Noma, ukuhlukumezeka kumphathi oyisiphukuphuku, kungenzeka ukuthi wachaza emhlanganweni jikelele: "Uyazi ukuthi yini, u-Aristarkh Epifanievich? Inqubomgomo yakho yokuphatha umnyango ikhohliwe, uye wahlukanisa abasebenzi, ingenza ngikhathazeke." Ukhona ngezikhathi zokunganeliseki ngaphandle kokuthi umnyango ubeke kancane kancane kunokujwayelekile. Futhi uyazi, vumela ukuziphatha kwakho kunzima ukubiza imodeli, kodwa kulungile. Ngoba konke lokhu akuyona into ephikisana kakhulu yentukuthelo ("Ngingubani? Angiyena lutho"), umuzwa uzalwa kubo bonke abantu abajwayelekile futhi ubasiza ukuba bavikele amanani abo. Futhi uma ungamniki intando, imiphumela ingadabukisa kakhulu.
Ukusabela sekuphelile
Esinye sezibonakaliso eziyinhloko zomuntu ovuthiwe yikhono lokuzwa intukuthelo yakhe ngalezo zinsuku lapho evele nje evele. Emva kwakho konke, kamuva, egcwele ukufutheka, umuntu uba buthakathaka ngaphambi kwamandla emizwa yakhe. Kungaba kuhle ukuthi ukwazi ukubona ukucasula kuleso sikhathi esiphundu, lapho sithatha kuphela izimpande futhi ngokushesha sishiye isisindo: sichitha ibhola le-antistress, hambahamba ngesinyathelo esisheshayo, futhi umane uveze ukunganeliseki kwakho, kodwa ngokuzithoba, njengoba bethi, ngaphandle kokugijima. Kodwa, ngeshwa, iningi lethu liyimikhiqizo yemfundo yesistimu yeSoviet. Kusukela ebuntwaneni sesiye safundiswa ukuthi akulungile ukuzwa intukuthelo, akulungile, udinga ukuvimbela imizwelo, qinisa. Yingakho abantu abadala abadala bengakwazi ukubona ukucasuka ngesikhathi futhi bahlupheke kuze kube sekugcineni, banikeze ukuziphatha okunonya ekugcineni. Futhi lokhu kubonakala kungekhona nje ukuhlukumezeka, kodwa izoni, izakhamizi ezihlakaniphile - nje ukusabela kokubili izinhlobo ezahlukene. Ukukhukhumeza kubonakala ezintweni ezintathu:
- ngokuziphatha;
- ekucabangeni;
- ku-physiology.
Sekuyisikhathi eside izazi zezenhlalakahle zithinteka ukuthi amazwi asabela ekunyanyeni kwemvelo yethu ayamukelekile. Babiza lokhu ukuthi buthakathaka kokulawulwa komphakathi. Ifomula ilula: ukunganaki, ukwandiswa ngesiqubulo esithi "wonke umuntu," kufana "nokuchichima kokungahloniphi emphakathini."
Yini okufanele ngiyenze?
Ukuze ubhekane nokukhwabanisa, kudingeka uqaphele ukuthi umoya "ongaphenduki, ube ngaphezu kwawo" ulahlekelwe ukufaneleka kwawo. Okokuqala, ngoba usabela ngendlela eyodwa. Umbuzo uwukuthi kanjani: ukusho okuthile ekuphenduleni (okuvela ngaphandle) noma uzothola ukuhlambalazwa phakathi kwakho (ngaphandle). Ngengqondo yakho nomzimba wakho, izenzo ezihlakaniphile "zangaphandle" ziyingozi: uyakhumbula umuzwa wokukhathazeka nesimo se-psychosomatics? Kodwa ungacabangi ukuthi sikhuthaza ukuthi ufunde ukuziphatha kabi: impendulo kumhlukumezi akusho ukuhlambalaza. Ngakho-ke, uma ngokungazelelwe uthathe isoseji kumthengisi wesitolo, umthengisi uyaphuma: "Kuningi, futhi ngedwa, zonke izinhlobo zezinto ziyaqhubeka lapha!", Ungakhumbuli ngokukhululekile yonke ulimi olungcolile owafundiswa esikoleni esiphakeme. Kwanele ukuthatha ukuphefumula okujulile futhi ukhumbule ukuthi ukusika isobho kanye nokukhonza amakhasimende ngumsebenzi oqondile wendodakazi. Ngakho-ke, mane usho leli qiniso ngokuzithoba, njengoba unokuthula ngangokunokwenzeka, kodwa ngokuqinile: "Ngiyaxolisa, ungumthengisi, futhi ngingumthengi. Futhi okwamanje kufanele ungikhonze." Njengomthetho, izinkulumo ezinjalo ziyamangalisa.
Kukhona enye imfihlo: ngokuvamile izisulu zobudlova azikhohlisi umhlukumezi. Khumbula izinsuku ezimbi: u-boss akayithandi iphrojekthi yakho, imoto yaphuka, ngaphandle kokuxwayisa ukuthi amanzi ashisayo avaliwe, futhi manje lo mthengisi we-hamovataya ofanayo uvele eseduzane futhi waba ngumzila wokugcina. Umbuso wangaphakathi awubonakali nje ekuboneni ubuso, kodwa futhi kubukeka kwangaphandle njengento yonke. Ngakho-ke, uma ubheka futhi uziphathe ungaphephile, futhi mhlawumbe ekukhanyeni kwezenzakalo zamuva, ucasuke, khona-ke amathuba okungena emkhakheni wokubukeka onesihluku uyakhuphuka kakhulu.
Isiphetho singesinye: asifuni ukubhekana nezimo ezingathandeki - bukela isimo sakho sangaphakathi. Awufuni ukuba yisilwane? Bese uqondisa emuva, ubuke abantu emehlweni, khuluma ngokuthula, ngaphandle kokumemeza nokukhala okukhulu kakhulu.
Londoloza, ngishisiwe konke!
Uma uqonda ukuthi yena ngokwakhe akayikukhuphuka ekuphenduleni, mhlawumbe akuyona into elungile kakhulu, kodwa ngokuqinisekile akuyona into ehlambalaza kakhulu, noma efinyelele isibambo futhi ilungele ukudla noma ubani ohlangana naye, kuzodingeka ufunde ukusabela ngokufanele. Imikhuba yaseMpumalanga izokusiza kulokhu, isibonelo ukuphefumula. Ukuphefumula okujulile nokuphuza kancane kuzokuvumela ukuba uthole ibhalansi, ngokusheshisa kakhulu futhi emifushane - cishe usuke usuka masinyane esuka ezinyangeni zangaphandle kuya ezingaphakathi. Enye indlela ibuye futhi ivela e-USA. Esikhundleni sokuthuka amazwi ahlambalazayo noma ukukhala izinyembezi, ayeke uzibuze:
- Yini engisongelayo manje? (Bheka isimo ngaphandle);
- Lokhu kuyangisongela ini? (Bheka ngaphakathi kwakho: igunya, imizwa);
- Yini engingayenza ukuze ngizivikele, ngaphandle kokuya ngaphesheya kwemingcele yokuhlonipha?